[dscarter]

I have been posting here and reading for a while, my dh and I have made a decision. We just attended our orientation and we got a lot of questions answered. We are going to foster to adopt. I feel that this is the best route that we can take.

Does anyone have opinions on Foster to Adopt? Do they show you photos of the child(s), give you all the important info on that particular child before you have to accept placment? What are the rewards and fall backs? Please, I need lots of answers here. In your opinion, is it better to foster to adopt then straight adoption? Do you at anytime regret your decision to foster to adopt. How long did it take before you found the child that you wanted to adopt, have any of you experienced removing a child from your home? How hard is it is I were to get a child that is very disruptive to my family to have the child removed and placed in another foster home (for reasons I can think of right now but I am sure they are out there).

Load me up with all your opinions....

[Batty1]

Yes, they will show you a picture. Theoretically, they will tell you everything they know, but some workers may not be entirely open, for fear of jeopardizing the placement. Other times, they just don't know that much. The child's former or current foster parents are good resources.

I don't regret doing fost-to-adopt, but it has been an emotional roller coaster. Wonderful sometimes, incredibly draining other times. Read everything you can on attachment, and keep reading here.

As for having a child removed, yes it is possible, but it's another hugely damaging blow to a kid who has been through so much. I think you need to go into it feeling completely committed to this child, unless they were physically dangerous. You have to really be prepared for the emotional and behavioral issues these kids can have.

All that said, I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world. After a couple of up-and-down years, we are really settling intop being a 'normal' family.

[dscarter]

I agree, my dh and I were just talking earlier, we both agree that if we do this and accept a child or children, we are committed to keeping that child for the rest of their lives. We wont send a child away, unless for reasons that we as a family cant deal with (danger). That is why I asked if we could see photos etc.. I would like to accpet children based on, I may keep this child forever.

Is there a way, we can asked for foster children that are already needing placement? Is that possible? Instead of children that are more likely to return to their birth parents?

[JewelMarie]

Children do not need to be perfect to come into a family. Rather, families need to be open and committed to raise children.

My daughter was placed on a straight adoptive placement and she adjusted well. She was 9 years old at the time. If given the chance, I would do either straight adoption or foster to adopt. It all depends on the child and what is needed for them to feel more secure.

Jewel

[vegaschristina]

My DH and I are foster-to-adopt parents. We still have 2 in foster, and one is finalized Luckily, all three of our kids have the same bmom, so with her we know somewhat what to expect.

As the one mom said, it is an emotional rollercoaster, and it can be wonderfully exciting and horrifyingly scary. Will bmom get her stuff together? Will the TPR go thru?

I look at the stress of it all as my labor pains. Bmoms go thru hours of them. I got to have months of them, but the joys in between the pains, they are indescribable.

I've had one child removed from my home, but 2 1/2 months later, we've gotten her back. It was hard, but bmom was really doing well. And now, she's back with us and she won't be leaving again, God willing.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Our boys were both high legal risk cases. I oftne described it to our licensor as having a baby then experiencing all the hormonal/emotional pregnancy issues. Waiting to TPR can be stressful. I hated myself for the inner feelings I had hoping the b-parents would fail.

Not for a single second do I regret our decision to foster/adopt. It is the single most rewarding and amazing thing we have ever done.

[nanab]

Hi,
we decided to do foster-adopt.in our state you can work with one of the private agencies that can place waiting children.they work with alll the counties.this has worked well for us.we have alot of support from our agency and the local dss.our agency would send us profiles of children that were possible matches for our family.if we were interested she would send our info to their agency.we had many referrals but did not match this way.our social worker happened to be at the right place at the right time,when she heard about d,and suggested they look at our family as a possible match.they sent us some info on him,we said we were interested,we met his social worker,then met him,then started viisits.he was placed in our home about 6 weeks after we first heard about it.time frame.it was about 9 months from when we were approved until he was placed in our home!he was placed as a legal risk placement,low risk.he is great,attached easilly.we love him he loves us.everyone involved is amazed how well this has worked out.tpr is next week.then we can start looking forward to the adoption.for us i will say,if we decide to do this again,it will need to be a child that has already had tpr.good luck,hope it all goes well for you.
nanab

[sayoko7]

We totally don't regret the fost-adopt path. For one thing, we worked with a great agency and a great social worker. We were encouraged to be as specific as possible about the children we wanted from number of kids, to personality traits, to ages. We were encouraged to expand our horizons and we are glad we did. In California, counties put together booklets of children with bios and legal status along with pictures. We were also encouraged to look on-line. We attended two adoption picnics. We actually went to one picnic to look at a sibling set, but weren't matched with them. We did impress a worker who had our girls at the same picnic, but we didn't even remember them! We are a now a few weeks from finalization. I am totally down with the agency route, as they have made everything simple. Also, we had no out-of-pocket expenses with regard to the process. Of course, setting up 2 girls is a whole other ball of wax!