[Guitarmom]

We have some friends who just got a sibling placement - the plan is adoption,but there is no TPR yet - there is a strong case against bparents,though- so it's likely. Anyway - everyone in our 4H club had a HUGE shower about a month after they brought the kids home. Partly because they hadn't had babies in the house for 18 yrs.. and getting 2 under age 2 with little notice was quite a shocker.
But now my friend has been asking me to write up a wishlist for when we get our kids (age 2 and 4) - also foster ,with plan to adopt -TPR set for Feb.07. Now I totally dont' expect a shower or anything - and our kids won't be babies at all... I really don't want everyone to put up a big fuss, I'm a lowkey kind of person. I also would hate to have a big party and for some strange reason the kids ended up going back to bparents.

Did anyone have friends /family throw a party when you got a foster/adopt placement?

[fostermama06]

Our friends had a shower also to welcome the life of foster parents. They plan to take in mostly babies, so it was a shower full of baby things!!!
For us, we take in children 3-8 years so it's impossible to know what kinds of clothes to buy. However, with our last placement we received all kinds of clothes and toys from family and friends. http://forums.adoption.com/images/smilies/11.gif
I think it's awesome to celebrate the love we have for children and people want to be part of that. Often times we are supported 100% by people who don't feel they can take in the children, but want to be a part in our placements. So in short, have a party!!!http://forums.adoption.com/images/smilies/banana.gif

[5starday]

Some of the moms and teachers at my bio son's school put together a little baby shower when we brought Little A home. They had known that we had been waiting for a placement for quite some time so everyone was thrilled when it finally happened.

I didn't want to jinx it by having a real baby shower, so they tricked me by inviting me over to scrapbook. It was the sweetest thing!

My family wanted to do an organized baby shower, but again I didn't want to jinx it! So I wouldn't let them. I kept telling everyone that once her adoption was final, we would have something to honor that.

Well, nearly 2 years later, we'll finally get the chance to celebrate our newest member of our family! We have NO idea what we'll do since now it is close to the holidays and there is something going on almost every weekend through New Year's Day. We'll figure something out soon, I hope!

[stevenstwin]

My only thought is PLEASE don't "celebrate" in front of the kids. This isn't a celebration time for them - it is a tragedy on many levels. I don't know how old they are, but I think the older they are the harder that would be. My son was able to very clearly articulate that he resented us being "happy" that he was losing his family.

[Hadley2]

Hate to be a wet blanket, but I second stevenstwin's post. Especially if there has not been TPR yet, these kids may not be anywhere near ready to begin thinking about a forever home yet.

[texastanya]

For our first placement, we didn't really have much in the way of toys. Our friends threw us a party, that was a lot like a shower. They boys were 1 and 4. The little guy had just turned one year old, so it was called a birthday party, but we got lots of stuff to help care for them. Both boys had a great time, and they loved all the toys they recieved.

[phatpony]

We threw a "placement party" when our foster to adopt daughter was with us a week. No TPR yet, but she was placed for adoption. I suppose we didn't know any better. It was great, she got all kinds of gifts. I don't think she really knew what to do, or how to act. If I were to do it again, I would wait longer to make sure the child is really comfortable with her new surroundings.

Oh, TPR was Nov 14th, so far no sign of appeal.

Glenn

[athikers]

I agree it may be better to wait... especially with older kids. Our 23 month old is "home" now and calls us mommy and daddy, our 9 year old is quite far from it and still very much hopes to go back to her home as soon as possible. She likes it with us, but we are not her parents... and who knows how long it will take before she would actually enjoy a 'gotcha' party. Probably not until we actually, legally adopt her. I think it just depends on the individual kids, visitation situations and whatnot as well.

[Guitarmom]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

My only thought is PLEASE don't "celebrate" in front of the kids. This isn't a celebration time for them - it is a tragedy on many levels. I don't know how old they are, but I think the older they are the harder that would be. My son was able to very clearly articulate that he resented us being "happy" that he was losing his family.

The kid are 2 and 4 - they have been out of the birth home for 2 years already.
I understand the concern - I guess it wouldn't be so much of a celebration ,but a WELCOMING..
I'm just wondering if it's commonplace for people to do things such as this - I'm not asking them to throw us a party-that's for sure. Now when the adoption's final, we do plan on a special day.. just close family, etc.