[jadasfostermom]

Hi,
My fd visits weekly with her birth mom and maternal great aunt. They are very cordial to me and the great aunt and I talk on the phone often. My case looks like it's heading to reunification with the great aunt, so hopefully we will have another placement soon. I've read prior posts about problems with family visits and the birth mom or family being cold or unfriendly to the foster parents. Any insight on how to deal with that when it happens?? Are they possibly angry that the child has been taken away, and taking it out on the Foster parents. I'm just trying to prepare myself for that possibly happenig with our new Foster child.
Thanks in advance for any advice

[mckenna]

i have had 5 foster children (3 had the same birth parents) i never met the 1st child's parents as it was a very short placement. foster child #2 had a very friendly bdad and in all honesty he was probably nicer to me than i was to him (i have grown a lot since then ). my last 3 foster children have had the same mom. i have treated her the same with all 3 children (placed at differnt times over the course of 4 years) with the 1st two, we had a very good relationship, she even terminated her rights and asked that i parent her son. with my current foster daughter, i believe she is just desperate at finding yet another child in the system. she is unfriendly, tells lies and nit picks every little thing about how i care of her daughter. i have tried my hardest to keep my cool. one thing i make for sure, at this point is that i am never alone with her and that everything is documented. i did not have to do this with her 1st 2 children. if you find yourself in a situation like i am now, i would recommend good documentation and always having someone to back up what is being said.

[moogiesmom]

Okay let me try this, I've been fostering for 6 years, we have had 14 kids, I always go meet the parents on the first visit,exception being the bf of little guy I have now, he was scary. I introduce myself, and I always am respectful to them ( at least to their face) I may vent to cw or DH. Really we have had a decent relationship with all the bio parents.
Ignore the neg. comments, Their angry because "it's not their fault"and just know in your heart that your doing a good job. It doesn't matter what they think of your parenting skills, encourage then to do what they need to, if it's not dangerous for the child to go back, and most of the time it will be ok.
Renee