[kmagnusson]

Hello,

My Dh and I have been selected to adopt a sibling group of 4 children ages 2-7 from foster care. We are currently reviewing their case file and things look good, our only apprehension is going from 0 children to 4 children overnight. We are both in our early 40's and have been on the roller coaster ride of adoption for about 18 months. The adoption would take place out of state. I was wondering if anyone else has done this type of adoption before. How are the children transitioned into an out of state home? What should we expect if we decide to accept this placement? I am excited but also nervous not knowing what to expect.

Kathy

[DianeScraps]

Wow 4!

All I can share is our personal experience - Hubby and I are early 30's. married 11 yrs

In June "C" and "S" moved in aged 4 & 7, both girls, and in the system for nearly 3 years, we were their 4th placement and 3rd home (they went back to one home a 2nd time after failed reunition)

The girls adjusted VERY well.

We however were in for a major awakening. 4 yr old has a very hard time sleeping through the night and rarely does so 2 nights in a row.

Both are in therapy. NONE of the information we reiceved comes close to telling the whole story on either of them.

If you don't mind me asking are you able to have a stay at home parent? I am self employed, so I was able to work some, but not much. Scheduling all the drs, dentist, therapist, school related, etc appts can be quite a pain. I also think the bonding process was greatly helped by me being able to be with them.

Sorry I can't help on the out of state thing, ours were only about 45 minutes down the road.

Best wishes

Diane

[kmagnusson]

Diane,

I teach part-time right now, but plan to take some time off when we adopt. Then I would also have the summer. My schedule is somewhat flexible during the school year. My dh is a farmer, so he is around more so in the winter, but less in the summer. I realize that during the summer I will need some help, at least part time and at the beginning.

As far as the information we have recieved it was a box full. It has taken many hours to go through and we are still shuffling papers. The younger 3 children have not had psychological evaluations, would that be something we should ask for?

Kathy

[DianeScraps]

Kathy-

That schedule will definitely help, unfortuantley my husband does payroll, and the girls moved in during audit season (not cool)

If you can get psych evals I would say go for it! "C" is actually in an outpaitient emotional support preschool, that we had been told was just 'daycare'

If you have Any indications of sexual abuse I would push for sexual abuse evals, and to see the full evals, not the summaries.

Another thought, since I spent most of my summers on my grandparents farm and school years in a suburb. . . Are these kids used to a farm setting? Our girls were in a very low class row home area, and were in shock over how to adapt to our 2 acres of property. I suspect this could be a whole lot worse on a farm. Do not be surprised if they have NEVER played outside beside going to a park.

BTW a box for of info is AWESOME! We got 3 pages - TOTAL. And only got their 'summaries' 4 months after they moved in, grrrrrrr

Diaen