[dawnmei]

I've have lurked here for more than a year and finally have a question to ask. My homestudy has been submitted and is beign considered for a sibling group currently in foster care. Today my worker emailed me and asked if I'd be willing to take "behavior classes" if I ended up being selected for these kids. Apparently their worker is recommending this additional training. I emailed her back to find out more information, but can anyone help me out with what that means?

[waiting home]

If you are a first-time parent, I would proceed with extreme caution.

That was great that you e-mailed for more info. Try to get as much info as you can about what the problems are, are they only related to one child or the group, how long have they been in care, has this "behavior issue" caused disrupted placements & how many.

Ask for any diagnoses. Then ask for time to research it for yourself. Please do not take the caseworker's "perception" of the problem and the whole truth. Her job is to place the children in a home. Every time this has happened to me, I've always gotten the "previous foster parents couldn't handle him, but he's just being a normal kid, etc." They like to blame previous foster parents because they never have a chance to defend themselves or give you their accounts of what is was like to LIVE (DAY TO DAY) WITH THE CHILDREN.

Bottom line: that request from the caseworker is a RED FLAG. My advice is do your HOMEWORK and do not be woo-ed into a decision. Make sure you are making an educated decision from your own research and self-examination of what you can truly handle.

[Lorraine123]

You need to find out a great deal more information before you can proceed. Be very cautious. I have never heard of a parent being asked to take "behavior classes" and I have witnessed some extreme behaviors. Therefore, the behaviors must be quite bad. Get details and do a lot of research to determine if these behaviors are ones that you feel you can handle. Decide with your head, not your heart.