[rainbowmom]

I am an adoptive parent of a seven year old boy. He was removed from his birth home at age 4. He was placed in only three foster homes before being placed with me. He was with to foster parents for less than 2 weeks each before being placed with his angel foster mom for 2 years. I met her and spent time with her before I made my decision to move forward with the adoption. Her hard work, patience and love helped to prepare my son for the adoption. I feel it is very important for my son, that the connection and love he has for her is lifelong and active. They have weekly phone calls and visits every 2 or three months. I have to be honest, though; I sometimes feel like MommaD (his foster mom) is an ex-spouse to me. Also, I have to be the one to initiate the calls and visits. I don't know if it is her pride that is holding her back, or what. I can only go by what she says and that is always, "Thanks for calling" and "Thanks for bringing him to see me". It is in his best interest to keep that relationship active, as he has already lost his birth parents, but, I feel as if foster mom truly, honestly doesn't feel grateful for the continued connection. But again, I can only go by what she says. How does everyone feel about maintaining relationships with foster parents after adoption?

[Jensboys]

Our boys foster mom had them for 3 years. She is a part of our extended family ... and will be for life!!!!

She is the same -- never initiating contact (I think she fears overstepping) but always so grateful for it. As the years have gone on ... I think she is more relaxed in knowing that we will keep it up and that her love for the boys isnt going to be lost. Of the 30 foster kids she has had, we are only one of two adoptive parents that have maintained contact with her.

The boys no longer seem to "need" it, but I still feel it models respect to them of her, and her contribution to their lives!

Jen

[leaabc123]

As a foster mom, I would love to have some kind of contact (even if it were only a few times) to know that my kiddos were doing well.

I agree that she may not want to overstep boundaries or somehow annoy you.

Maybe, you could give her a call or write a letter and let her know that you wouldn't mind if she initiated contact sometimes and see what she says.

[rainbowmom]

Ok, thanks for the reassurance. I hadn't thought about her fearing over stepping boundaries! I surely will call her today and start up dialogue. I have to admitt, that I selfishly never considered her losses during our journey, or if I did think I repressed that consideration.