[zoealice]

Our CM is currently looking for a match for us (13-16 year old boy). My husband and I were really interested in one boy, who is being aggressively recruited at the moment. Our CM has said the recruiter is all for us and thinks we're a great match. The boy's CM, however, has never acted on any proposed family. Ever. This has been going on for the whole 3 years he's been in the system. The boy has 18 months left before he ages out of system. I'm so frustrated I could cry. Even if he does not become our child, we are really worried about his never being anyone's child. What can be done in a case like this? Has anyone run into it before?

[jackiesbooks]

Go to the boy's CM supervisor!

[momofmykids]

Or, email the commissioner of DCS in the boy's state. That REALLY works in TN and you usually get an email back the same day from the commissioner.

On the other hand, are you sure this boy WANTS to be adopted? We tried to adopt a 16 year old that we saw at an adoption picnic. We stated visits, the whole nine yards. When it came time for him to move, we found out that *he* didn't really want to be adopted. He was still holding out hope that his bio family would be there for him when he turned 18. In TN, any child over the age of 14 has to sign a notarized paper that says they want to be adopted (so they know the cw isn't just pushing it).

[zoealice]

We have been assured by the recruiter, our agency, and the boy (through a video) that he REALLY wants a family. That's the part that makes this so frustrating and so heartbreaking.

[yanknrebel]

mommyofmykids,

I totally agree about the commissioner of TN. SHe has been awesome helping me with the twins and any other problem I may have. She is a superb person and I wish all of them were like that.

[jenf]

This is common in PA- don't give up- ask to speak to the cm's supervisor. If they aren't in, ask for their supervisor! Leave messages with all of them. Try the county agency the boy is from, even the head of the state. Good luck and keep calling!!!!