[TristaB]

(I am in TN) Ok, this is going to be long... so beware!

My cousin is 25 yrs old and has 4 children ages 5,4,3 and 7 months. She "gave" the 5 yr old and 3 yr old to my grandparents. The only reason why she didn't give the others is my grandparents wouldn't take them. All during this time my 85 yr old grandparents have been raising the 2. The mother moves in and out alot so all 4 are there alot of the time. (My grandparents adopted the mother and the mothers brother when they were babies, fyi)

My grandpa is in the hospital, he suffered a heart attack and stroke. My grandma has alztimers (not spelled right) and can't remember nadda! Over the past couple of years the kids have been left with my gma b/c my gpa was still working. They are left with a woman that can't remember who the kids are at times. The house is an absolute disaster area, I won't even let my kids go in it is that bad...I have called the state about it numerous times (state of TN) but they have yet to even do a home visit.

The 5 yr old will be 6 next month and has never been to school and JUST got potty trained.... the 3 yr old is still in diapers and bottle.

The "mom" wouldn't contest an adoption at all... I am just curious, when you adopt a family member, do you get any state assitance? Or is it better to get them after the state has taken control.... I would love to take them both but it would be a little easier with some assistant... The reason I ask is my gpa told me that they got it when they adopted the 2 cousins of mine.

The situation is getting worse as the days go by.. I have talked with my cousin (the birth mom) she would gladly give them over....

Long story and confusing I am sure.....

We are interested in taking the two.. and just curious about if there is assistance b/c that would help if we do get them.

Please I am in need of some assistance here.. I would hate to have to "pick" only one, b/c of money. Do I go to a lawyer first? If you foster, could anybody come in and take them and adopt them before we did?

Thank you for your time and/or suggestions...

[yanknrebel]

WHat part of TN are you in? I live just outside of Memphis.

WHat alot of our foster families do is what is called "kinship placements". The cw even persuade this as the family members will get the monthly assistance as well as the state's insurance and any counseling the children may need. If you adopt them, this may all cease. Are you willing to take the 5 and 3 year old children as well? I cannot see how they could remain with these grandparents considering their health. DCS will probably ask you this. They will want to keep the siblings together if at all possible.

WHat I would suggest doing is call your local DCS office, tell them the situation, tell them the biomom would like for you to raise the children. ALso tell them about your grandparents health. That way they can provide a plan for the children if the health of the gps continue to deteriorate. You (and dh) will have to take PATH classes and become approved foster parents to become kinship placement option. Call DCS and speak to a cw. Good luck.

[pgecco]

Kindship placement is what you are looking for. If you will not take all 4 find someone who will for the children' s sake.
Good luck!