[yanknrebel]

Ok everyone, I need your help amd wisdom. I am estatic to say that I was notified today by our commissioner that the tpr on our foster twins was indeed filed June 20, 2005. YEAH!!! SHe and her staff member who is following this case will be emailing me with a court date as soon as set. I was also told in the email that the biomom was supposed to go to court last week on a motion that was filed on her behalf to try and get visitation on her first two children (the bf has them and her rights were never terminated on those two), however th e biomom never showed up for court. Now they don't know where she is. Not unlike the biomom to go missing. Anyway, the DCS atty has decided to file publication on this biomom, since she can not locate her. How does publication work? How long does it run? WHat does the biomom need to do if she sees it?

Mary

[momofmykids]

Mary,
What part of TN do you live in? I live right outside Knoxville.

The publication generally runs for four weeks in the county where the bmom was last known to live. It's generally in the section with things like estates to be settled, foreclosures on homes, etc. The bdad on one of my kids never showed up to the TPR and the judge granted the termination without hesitation. They called his name twice and when there was no answer the second time, the judge whacked his gavel and said, "termination granted". Don't sweat it, her not showing could be a GOOD thing! If she does see the publication, it most likely will have the date of the hearing and where the hearing is to be held. It sounds like this bmom is not interested in working her plan and if DCS is going for a termination, they'll most likely get it.

Good luck!

[yanknrebel]

I live in Atoka, TN just north of Memphis in the next county of Tipton. The bf has surrendered his rights on May 2nd. I truly hope she doesn't see it and doesn't show, HOWEVER, I am worried that with the biomom's mental capacity ( has a mental capacity of a 13 year old) I am worried that she may be able to say she couldn't understand what that meant or that she didn't see it, therefore the judge will throw out the tpr. This biomom could pass a test to get her license (driving) but she forgot to go to her mental health eval to continue getting her disability check. I just want this over. I can't beleive she did not show up at court last week to fight for visitation for her 2 other girls. Thanks for the info.

[sfbaymom2000]

Isn't it so hard to understand the actions (or lack of) of some (alot of) birthparents? Ours never showed up in court were late for or missed visits, showed little interest during the visits. They did not appeal the TPR, which was great for us, but hard to imagine how a parent would not do everything possible to keep their kids. Of course by TPR, they've had many, many chances to do the right thing.

Anyway, I would not worry too much her seeing the publication...who ever reads those sections? Not that the news should be hidden from her, but really, hasn't she proven that she is not willing to do what she needs to? Otherwise they would not be filing TPR. It seems like the worst that could happen is that she could appeal, which drags things out, but she probably would have no chance of winning it.

Maybe it is different elsewhere, but we've been told that here bparents virtually never win appeals, because the county is very careful to offer the bparents services and try to reunify. By the time TPR is filed, there has to be very strong evidence that the bparents are not capable of/willing to adequately care for the children. So there is not much to appeal, unless they truly were not given appropriate services (referrals for drug treatment, anger management classes, parenting classes).

Congrats to you that you are a step closer. Good luck!

[5starday]

Let's be honest about the Publications. First of all, who ever reads those? They are in an obscure area of our mewspaper. I don't even look at them and I am a business owner with reasons to. In our situation, we are certain that if the biomom had money to burn, she's be buying other things with it, not a newspaper to check to see if her name is in it regarding her abandoned child.

It seems as if the Publications are just a "CYA" method for the court systems. It also bides them time for the bio parents to come forward on their own, which in our case neither of them did. It has been nearly 9 months since our FD has seen her bio mom (she also has 3 older children she abandoned over the past 10 years). She has never seen her bio dad. They are both "missing." Unfortunately, that only means that it is taking longer for our FD's case to be TPR'd and moved on so we can adopt her.

In most cases, the bio parents know that their children are a phone call to any CPS office away. The fact that the bio mom no-showed for an important court hearing says volumes!

[bumpkin]

So glad you are the next step forward. I also think you need not worry about the publication. It's just a CYA thing.

Also, she doesn't need the publication to notify her of her children's state, she knows they are in the state's custody, knows the cw etc.... has her own atty etc...All she has to do is pick up the phone if she wants to learn more about them.

I think you're smooth sailing from here, but understand your concern, it's not over till it's over.

How are the twins doing?

[tlc4kidz]

yank.....you deserve this to go smoothly after all you went through with your daughter! Are you done fostering when you get through this? There are times I get sad and miss it, but it is so nice to be able to have our family intact with no courtdates, cws, or visits to worry about. It sounds like you should be set to finalize soon.....can't wait to hear about it!

[yanknrebel]

Hi everyone. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I found out today that the publication has not yet been put in the paper. WHAT is the atty waiting on? However the biomom showed up unexpectedly at the DCS office one day last week. She asked the cw if she was getting her twins bac

k? The cw told her that she had an atty. That is a question she would need to ask her atty. However, the cw, told her, DCS WAS seking adoption and the tpr had been filed. The biomom then asked " Well am I getting my twins back?" This woman has no clue. She has already lost 2 other children and surrendered her last child up for adoption. She knows the system. She also had someone drop her off at the DCS office to pick up some clothes that I had sent by way of the cw (the biomom had a housefire where she had been staying, lost all her clothes, so I was asked if I had any I could donate to her which I did) . Her ride dropped her off and left. Well biomom was accustomed to having the previous cw take her home. So the biomom told the woman at front desk of DCS she needed a ride home. The woman asked the new cw if she could take the biomom home. SHe replied NO, I have a full schedule today." A few minutes later biomom back up to front asking same question. Finally the cw went to the biomom and told her NO she could not take her home. CW said the biomom just looked at her. Biomom said "Well am I supposed to sit here all day?" The cw told her that she (biomom) had better get back on the phone and call her ride back. That she should not have told her ride to go on. This is what this biomom has been doing all along. She has purchased 2 cars since I have had the twins. First car engine blew up. Then she bought a new one. She will ask for gas money, for money to eat on. SHe has asked me for money to buy lunch with and for gas money, as well as the previous cw. THIS new cw isn't playing that game with her. LOL So this just shows you the limited mental capacity this woman has. According to the cw and one of the meetings,this mental impairment goes back several generations on both sides. SO yes Dana, we will probably get out of fostercare after we adopt these twins. I want one more. I have always dreamed of having 6 kids. If we had gotten the chance to have gotten the last baby she had (she is a full sibling to the twins) we would have adopted her as well. Instead the stepbrother and his wife that adopted this baby girl will not allow the twins in this baby's life. I am not happy about that, but that is their decision. My husband is tired of all the meetings, conferences, cw, hearings and all the redtape that goes along with all this. After the twins are adopted, then he wants us to withdraw. I will miss not only the children but most of the workers for both DCS and CPS as well. I have had (mostly) positive experiences with them. 2 of them I call friends.

Yes with K and that LONG outdrawn case, we pray this is much quicker. I don not forsee the biomom having the where withall to appeal the case, but she is going to contest it. SO we will be going to trial. The case will be held in the same court that has been dealing with her practically all her life. They know this biomom as well as all of her family and their histories. SHe grew up in the fostercare system herself as did her sister, who is worse off mentally then biomom is.So we are just praying that this is over soon and we can get on with our lives.

Bumpkin, the twins are now 16 months old and they both just started walking. OH MY. They are doing wonderfully. Happy and healthy.

DOes anyone know if the goal is changed to the sole goal of adoption, does visitation stop? To my knowledge biomom has not asked for visitation and has not seen them since end of April. I have asked cw if we are doing visitation and she answered no, not that she knows of and biomom hasn't asked.

[punchkin]

Hi yank!
I haven't talked to you in awhile. It's good to see that things are moving along for you. Congrats! When the plan was changed to adoption, the judge stopped all visitation. Not that bmom was coming around anyway. However when she went back to jail, she called dcs and wanted a visit with baby. No visit, court ordered.
Good luck and best wishes.

[leenab]

Visitation will go on and on, up until TPR. And then post TPR & TPR appeal waiting time there's usually one last good-bye visit which is offered to the bioparents to get closure.

[gormancrew]

Hi there,
We had visitation offered to the bp's right up until the end of the waiting period, and then twice scheduled a final visit which they canceled both times.(This was after everything was final). I'm glad your experience with DCS has been so good, you don't hear that much on the website. My twins are almost 9 months old and not sitting up yet, so I'm glad to hear that yours are walking, it gives me hope. Keep us posted, and send me that PM you talked about. Good luck!!