[mn_mom4more]

Hello,

My DH is hesitant about adopting again because of finances. I do understand. We aren't wealthy, we are regular people who live pay check to pay check. Our dd and ds are ready for more siblings, and I've been ready for more kids for awhile now. We adopted both our kids at birth, but next time we will do waiting children - a sibling group of 2 or 3.

Here is how I look at the differences between fostering and adopting...

Financially: A foster child lives with us, we care for them, they become a family member, to a certain degree. Their medical is covered and we receive a monthly "support" check for them.

If we adopted a fc, they would become a part of our family IN EVERY WAY. Their medical would be covered and we'd receive a monthly "supplement" check for them.

Emotionally/Mentally: A foster child still lives in limbo, without a forever family. If they have any mental and/or emotional issues, they aren't able to advance as well, especially if they've had several placements.

An adopted child can feel more secure. Their healing process can either begin, or continue on with the support of us, their family. We will be able to know our child(ren) better AND have the freedom to seek whatever actions/treatments we need to in order to help our child(ren). Foster parents don't have that freedom, and some don't have time to get to know the child and start any treatment processes.

As far as the emotional/mental issues of an adopted child, our son has severe mental disabilities and we honestly believe had he been in foster care he wouldn't be anywhere near where he is today, both in school and proper treatment & medication.

To sum it up:
Financially we'd have some added expenses, which is a "con" (and the main thing my dh focuses on! lol), but I don't see it as more than a couple hundred a month. Emotionally and mentally it is "pro" all the way for the kids.

Am I right, or am I living with rose colored glasses on?

Thanks for any input!

[tlc4kidz]

I say if you can adopt and want to with or without any subsidy, then go for it. If loss of support would be a hardship for you and the children you have, maybe you should reconsider. Where I live we are facing the loss of all subsidy.....daycare, medicaid and monthly subsidy check. This includes not only children adopted from here on out, but even those previously adopted through the state. I believe it will be devastating for the children in the longrun, because so many people will be in the situation like you are....unable to financially support a child and give them a forever family, but have an abundance of love to share.

Just wanted to warn you, that if it can happen here, the other 49 states may not be far behind....hopefully not. I have also heard grumblings that there is a push at the national level that would cut funds to states for those kids that receive their subsidy through federal and not state dollars.

[mn_mom4more]

Dana, I've heard about what Missouri is doing and I just can't even believe it! I am shocked it got to this point! Thank you for your input!

My statement of: "To sum it up: Financially we'd have some added expenses, which is a "con" (and the main thing my dh focuses on! lol), but I don't see it as more than a couple hundred a month. Emotionally and mentally it is "pro" all the way for the kids." is my argument to my dh! I think we could handle 1 or 2 more, but not sure about 3. My only concern about not having medical assistance is if one of the kids needs to take medication. Our son is on several and if we didn't have MA for his secondary insurance (he is on a waiver because he is mentally disabled), there is no way we could afford his meds.

Of course you are right when you said to decide if we could afford to do it without subsidy, but that really blows my argument out of the water, now doesn't it? LOL!

I don't think we really have an option to NOT adopt. Our DD needs an AA sibling who understands, and they can connect with each other where we can't because we are CC. Our son is mentally impaired. He has no clue what adoption is, what being black in a very white community means, etc. I feel like our DD is alone and she doesn't deserve to be. My desire to adopt again isn't solely based on what I feel our DD's needs are, because I really want more kids too.

Until very recently, our DD wouldn't talk about adopting more kids. Now she wants a sister and is willing to have another brother as well! She actually told me tonight what she thinks the ages of the kids should be (8 and 6). That's major progress on her part!

With all those factors I'm having a difficult time finding a reason why we SHOULDN'T adopt more, even without subsidy. This is where my rose colored glasses come in handy! My problem is having a strong enough argument to my husband, who always worries about finances!