[tlc4kidz]

I don't know, maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's just that I'm completely sleep deprived and trying to juggle a gazillion things at once. This will be my first mother's day as our akids "forever mom". It's also the day that our youngest was due a year ago, however he will turn 1 on tuesday. There are so many folks out there who are suffering the loss of infertility and I am blessed with four incredible children....what could possibly be wrong?

Everyone around me seems to think I should be able to just move on and "forget about those people (bp's)". After all "they are the ones who screwed up" (not my words). I just keep seeing my kids birthmom in my head and wondering how much pain she'll be in on this day that should be a celebration of motherhood. I have this image of her standing in her driveway with tears streaming down her cheeks....which is the last time we met. I bought her a card tonight that says on the outside...."may the path that lies before you lead you to a place of hope and hapiness", and on the inside "know that I am beside you on your journey". I read it and wonder if she'll be offended. Wonder if I am causing her more pain by being in her life.

UGGHH....this adoption thing is NOT easy. I am SO thankful that the kids are now a part of our family, and I love them to the moon and back. There's just always that piece of sadness. Thanks for listening....it's a comfort to know I can come here, where someone will understand, and not burden my family with these thoughts.

[SchmennaLeigh]

"may the path that lies before you lead you to a place of hope and hapiness", and on the inside "know that I am beside you on your journey". I read it and wonder if she'll be offended. Wonder if I am causing her more pain by being in her life.

What a beautiful card, a beautiful gesture in general. Though every Birthmother is different, I think she will accept the wording for what it is, an honest, heartfelt exchange between two mothers. Not only is she blessed to have her children being raised by such a compassionate woman, the children will be blessed two-fold by someday knowing that you took an active role in sharing love with their biological Mother.

Chin up, Dana. Sad days come and go (for all of us). You're doing all you can. *hugs* Enjoy this Mother's Day.

[Howdy]

I think it sounds like a really nice card. You might add some really upbeat stuff about how happy the kids are. It sounds like it would come across as callous, but it seems to make previous parents feel better, such as, knowing my first foster daughter's forever placement is a good happy one for her makes me feel very comfortable with having lost her myself. And my newly returned fdaughter's bgrandma (who just lost her to me as an adoptive placement) told me on the phone a few days ago, that hearing how happy the child is makes her feel much better about losing her herself.