[joby]

I find myself in this forum of experienced volunteers yet again.

Our soon-to-be son has been with us for two weeks. He has just turned 11 year old. We are planning to take him to a counselor next week for the good of all involved. We're not having any specific problems like aggression or deep depression, we're just wanting to do the right things and we think it's important that we do this. The judge asked us if it was out intent and of course we had already lined up a psychologist before he came home to us. We just want to be sure that he has someone he can talk to, without the fear of hurting our feelings, or being reprimanded, or the variety of other issues that kids worry about when speaking theirminds.

He's open to it and said he understands that sometimes things bother him and he can't quite explain. He knew kids who had counselors in the last foster home he was in and personally has no problem with it. He's an uber-bright kiddo and doesn't seem to question the fact that we all want someone to help us in this transition.

That being said....

What I'm seeking from those who have been down this path, is suggestions for specific things I can talk to him about. I don't have the experience to ask the "obvious." I'm also not sure of what tyeps of things I should be relaying to the therapist ahead of time. We're lucky that the doc is widely experienced with adoptions and foster care, and I know he will inform us of plenty so that's in our favor, but I'd still like to feel some terra firma beneath my feet walking in.

Any ideas or suggestions y'all can offer?

Joby

[lucyjoy]

Will you be included in the sessions? He needs to bond to you and to facilitate that, you need to be in there.

The therapist I use reads my child's file and can provide feedback on what kinds of things I might expect to see.

[joby]

Yes, Lucy, I'll be there. I couldn't imagine NOT being so.

I've not yet been able to meet with the therapist beyond the initial planning, so I haven't had the opportunity to discuss specifics with him yet. The files from the state are still in transfer so he's working with limited knowledge.

I'm only asking for what specific types of things others may have talked about to give me a bit more insight.

Joby