[Luv]

hi all

just a question regarding "tpr" once the judge has termed the right's of bparents how long after that do you have to wait to finalize adoption?
We have only had ds for a week but even before we got him there was court date after court date to do tpr but it keeps getting continued. due to continuance we have to take ds to one and half hour visits w/bmom (which he cries and screams for me the whole time and it tears my heart out completely) I had to literally leave him in the room and run away (per the case woker) cause he wouldnt leave my side it was heart wrenching like nothing ive ever experienced before

Luv

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Luv,

Not to discourage you but you may still be in for a long haul. After TPR his parents have the right to appeal the decision. They will be given so much time to just say they will appeal, then more time to present the appeal in writing. Then even more time for appeals court to review the case, etc.

In our children's case their mom had 30 days to say she'd appeal, she did that on day 29. She then had 60 days to have her attorney submit the appeal in writing she never did that. So, TPR was granted last March and in October we finally got final word that the appeal was thrown out (and she never even filed one but had said she would). We still don't have these 2 adopted and it will probably be April (if we're lucky) before they are.

Depending on your worker you may not have to take your fs for visits if TPR is granted. I'm not positive about that though if the mom appeals, you may have to in that case but I can't tell you definitely.

Best of luck.

Michelle

[radkat]

I also think you have a long way to go. It could take a year or longer to even get TPR and then there is an appeals process 30-60 days depending on your state. Visits would most likely continue until TPR is granted. There might be a goodbye visit afterwards, also. The thing to consider is if the child's parents are doing anything at all on their caseplan...including visiting, it might take longer to TPR.

In my case I've had my foster children 15 months before TPR was requested. It was granted December 10th. We had to wait for the appeal time to be over...the agency gave their mother until January 18th. We've just met with the adoptions worker January 11th. So according to the caseworkers timeframe she thinks we're looking at finalizing March or April. I personally don't think it will happen that soon. I'm thinking April or May....if we're lucky.

Kat

[HappyMomAnna]

Many states require children to BE in the HOME for a certain amount of time in my State families must have the children 6-months before the state will even issue the approval to start the adoption petition.

Our Children were TPR in January within days of being placed in our home.

They were FREE to be adopted by US--in July but the state did not get all the paperwork properly done until mid-september.

Then we met the Attorney and drafted up the petition... He filed the petition with the courts in October.... It took a few more weeks before the State Records office called in order to get the EXACT info to be placed on the childrens Birth Certificates and even though we would NOT get them for several weeks after we finalized--this had to be done before the Judge could finalize the adoptions....

We finalized on 12/19 exactly 11 months and three days after TPR.

[Nixie]

Once TPR is said by the judge we stop all visits and we have to wait 30 days from the date the parents were served with the order. Once those thirty days are upand no appeal was filed we transfer case management to Adoptions at the beginning of the next month. They then follow up with getting the case finalized in adoptions.
You then have to follow up with necessary paperwork to finalize.
But, as far as the visits they stop once it is ordered by the court. Good Luck!

[punchkin]

Our fd bparents were tpr'd on Dec04. We are finalizing this coming Thursday 02-10-05. Good luck.

[MeLisa]

Our foster daughters TPR was in Aug and she still hasn't been cleared for adoption,but her attorney told us to go ahead with the petition to adopt. In our co. you have to hire your own attorney and then the state pays them for the cost of adoption. So it might be awhile. Good luck!!!

[Luv]

thanks everyone for your responses it has been very helpful.

next question if bmom appeals (which she will) then do i still have to drag my son to visits? i understand her rights and even have empathy for her situation cause if someone was trying to take him from me i would do everything within and out of my power to fight for him but it's been almost 2 years when does it end?


Luv

[HappyMomAnna]

That is a good question....I would 'guess' NO.... The truth is that her appeal would be on a verdict--the verdict was that her rights were terminated so unless this was reversed her rights are terminated...

.........however, Many caseworkers and states do the 'Goodbye Visit' usually quickly following a TPR--Ours was the next day. They say this is good for the child (I cannot say my experience would prove this true).....

It is hard to do the visits I completely understand.
Have you talked to the caseworker about the possiblity of a Transfer Person? Someone who can take the child from you and bring the child to the mom? This can be very helpful with children who are acting fearful and clingy.

I cannot tell how old your child is but it seems a little unusual that a child would be this anxious after only a week with you.... He may be expereincing some anxiety after being moved to your home....and fearful that he will move again. Even the little ones can have unusual responses to a new home--a new family and then seeing a reminder of the past.... A week is so short a time to see so much attachment and cligyness....

Have you had the chance to take him anyplace else and leave the room....? Does he react this way to any situation.... ?


I am sure the visits are hard but would wonder how he might react to meeting ANYONE at the visit center if you tried to leave the room...?

[radkat]

In our case we were told yes, if the mom requested visits during her appeal time the children would have to go. Their main consideration was that they wanted to maintain the bond between the mother and the children if there was any likelihood she would be able to get them back.

Of coursre, she didn't show up for any visits, only made two phone calls to the caseworker last year. Didn't show up for court. Didn't file an appeal.

But if she had made an effort (any effort) we would be doing visits right now, even though she pretty much abandoned them for a year.

We didn't get a goodbye visit, the caseworker sent her a letter asking her to write something to the children. She didn't even do that.


Kat

[HappyMomAnna]

Kat---when I answered I was guessing because part of me suspected that on the appeal visits MIGHT actually be ordered....... It seems that termination of parental rights is ALWAYS careful and that the biological family is given every possible chance....I think this is the right way for our society to handle thigs....but gosh it can casue the children some real pain.

Anna

[MamaTo6]

In my case with my lil guy, tpr court is still going on. I was told by the wrkr that if bmom appeals, and she will, that visits would continue, but at a more infrequent rate. She now has her visits 3x a week totalling 4 hours. From what I was told ,her visits would be maybe 1x or 2x a week for an hour each. It is highly doubtful the decision for tpr will be overturned, but just incase..... this will be best for bmom and lil guy so as to not break the fragile bond they have now.

These visits have been ongoing since birth and lil guy is now 10 months old. Lil guy is used to them and even waves to reception when he is taken to the visiting centre.
Just these past 2 weeks he has been crying and clinging to me when I try to leave him there with his bmom. I was almost sure this was just his age and not that he didn't want to be left with his bmom.
We solved this by having the wrkr take him in to the visits and when they were finished the wrkr brought him back out to me. No more crying or clinging!
I was allowed to sit in and watch a visit through a 2 way mirror ( with bmoms) permission. It was strictly supervised and made me feel a whole lot better about lil guys safety and well being. Infact bmom and lil guy had sooo much fun and were so busy that I now understand why he comes back to me so tired.
TPR to adoption can take a long time, and Im so anxious to adopt lil guy....but I would much rather the courts and childrens services be sure about the decision and take their time.
Teagans Mama

P.S. Loving all u wonderful people and getting all the support I need. Thanks for a great site.

[HappyMomAnna]

Lil guy is at that age---our children usually are very clingy around 9-16 months plus or minus.... VERY age normal..... Just wait till he screams when you go to the bathroom if that isn't happening already!!!!!

[radkat]

The thing to remember is that TPR and a Stop Visitation Order are two different things. There has to be a request made for visits to cease...it's not automatic.

At least that was the way it was explained to me.

Anna,
It's ok. My apologies if I upset you in any way.
You're absolutely right, visits after TPR seem like they could be damaging to a child. I, personally, would love to have a visit with the kids mother, they deserve some closure. Right now they feel like they've been thrown away.


Kat

[Nixie]

In SC, the visits stop once TPR is ordered. I usually grant my parents a visitation afterwards, if the child is older, to provide closure. If the children are young, the visit prior to the hearing is considered the last one if TPR is achieved. I tell the parents not to say anything to the children, because they will not understand. I recently had a case go to the State Supreme Court on appeal. We did not do any visits during the appeal period. The TPR was upheld and they are working finalization. We had the TPR in July of 02 and a decision was not granted from the Supreme Court until April of 04!!!!!!!! Just be prepared for the length of time it may take if the parent does appeal. In SC, the parent has 30 days from the date the order was served on them to file an appeal.