I am a very patient person but am beginning to get very frustrated. We just found out at Thanksgiving that my cousin's children were removed by the state and were going to be put up for adoption. I am not close with my cousin because we just live in two completly different worlds. It took me 2 weeks of calling around to find out where they are and since then it has been very frustrating. They have to do an interstate compact because we are in MI and the kids are in IA. The request was supposed to be sent before Christmas and I was told to give it a couple weeks because of the holidays. I called back on 1/10 and the worker in MI still hadn't received it so I called the worker in IA and he still hadn't "Officially" received the file and hadn't even sent the request in. Since dh and I had a fostercare license in 2001, I faxed him a copy of our last homestudy to look at. After 2 unreturned calls on different days, I finally got a hold of him. He said he received the fax, hasn't looked at it and still has not gotten the file but should be there by the end of the week. I called today to follow up and he STILL doesn't have the file. He has made a few calls to figure out what is up but still nothing. I was told to call him back next Monday. We are considered a relative placement and after 2 months, we are still no further ahead than we were when we started. I hate to say it but I am so close to just saying forget it. I have seen no forward movement at all. If you are still reading, thanks for "listening" I really needed it. Sorry this is getting so long.

[WhoDoILookLike]

Hang in there. My motto is this..... If you don't stick around through the bad times you won't be there for the good times. I wish you and yours the best.

[jamie3]

Sounds like my adoption! The file was lost and no one would return our phone calls. Not even the supervisor. However, I learned that the further up the chain you can get the more results you can get. Document every phone call and then start up the chain. It sounds like someone is not doing his job and the department needs to know that. Talk to his supervisor. If that doesn't bring any action, call the supervisor of the supervisor. We ended up having to call a state senator in order to locate our file and it was found on the same morning of his phone call. I hated to do things that way but these people did not leave me any choice. That file had been lost for 2 months, but they found it the same morning??????

Thank you, I am feeling better now that I have chilled a bit and was able to get that off my chest. I am normally not one to make waves but I know he is getting the feeling that I am getting thin. He kept telling me to not to give up. I never said that I would but he must sense how I was feeling. If they don't find it by next Monday, I will be contacting someone else to see if they can find the missing file.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

You're WAY more patient that I would be. I'd call the supervisor tomorrow morning and make a huge stink about it.

You do whatever you need to do to get these kids, don't let anyone stop you. If you need to step on a few toes, so be it. 2 months is enough patience if you ask me. IMHO, you're being put off.

Best of luck.

Michelle

[Nixie]

I agree to go up the food chain.
I always encourage my families in other states to bug their state to see if the file is rec'd. I would definitely make a big stink up the food chain. The process is long and even if he sends it tomorrow, it could still take a couple of months. IA's state office has to receive the info and send it your state office, who send it your local county office. It may a be able HUGE help for you that you are already licensed. It should make MI's part go much quicker! Ask for that worker's supervisor and the county director! Good luck and don't give up!

Thanks everyone for the support. I decided that since tomorrow is already Thursday, and the SW told me they were in "training" on Thursday and Friday, I am going to wait until Monday like I said I would but there better be some serious progress on Monday or I will be moving up the ladder. Not positive where to go from there except the person I talked to directly out of Des Moins.

The file finally "officially" hit our SWs desk. It took two more days of messages from me (Boy am I starting to feel like a pest but worth it!). He finally returned my calls at 7:30 this morning. He has the file and has finished the paperwork for the Interstate Compact. Unfortunatly, it has to go to 3 offices before they can act on it but the good thing is that the SW is faxing a copy of the paperwork to the final office that we have been talking to. Hopefully, we can get something in the works before it "officially" hits their desk. Still hanging in there but hopefully it won't take as long for the next step!

[HappyMomAnna]

I can understand the frustration!!!! This paperwork stuff is the worst part of the whole system.... Thank goodness for FAX machines!!!! and hang in there it will all work out eventually we don't want in more LOST Foster children like we know of in one state out there! Everyone has to sign off....and it delays things!

I understand the paperwork but sometimes you wonder why it takes 2 months to get 1 paper signed off. Hopefully it moves a little faster now so we can actually meet the kids.

[HappyMomAnna]

well lets hope and you are soooo NOT used to this that it can be rather strange to enter the Children's Services Zone---but my experience has been there is a lot of hurry up and wait.... Expect the worst and be thrilled when you make progress more quickly! Sorry but that is how we survived....

I have been familiar with the Chiildren Services a bit before when we were licensed Foster Parents. It only took them 1 month to get all the paperwork done and finalized but after 6 months we still did not have a placement because we weren't looking for a child over 5. I ran a licensed daycare for 14 years and due to their regulations, I was not "encouraged" to have older children in my home. We ended up dropping our foster care license because of the conflicts between the two licenses. Don't miss the politics in that. I just closed my daycare to spend the time with the kids.

[jamie3]

Anna is right. Now that I have been through it all I can say that the patience I learned waiting for the state was akin to Job's. We were promised that the adoption would be finalized the day the boys had been with us 6 months. That would have been August.

It was soooo hard and I had to keep reminding them that I was waiting in order for anything to get at all. The tone of voice you use to prod can make a difference in whether you are effective or not though. Continue gently pushing, but don't wait on them to take any initiative at all. It's all up to you. Good luck and keep us posted!

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Michi,

I am so glad you hung in there for the kids and that they FINALLY got the file. Hopefully things will go faster from this point on.

Best of luck.

Michelle

Thanks everyone for the support and help. I have been trying to gently push and so far that is all that is needed. I was starting to feel bad about doing that but I came to the conclusion that if I didn't, things will take even longer. I think I am going to call my contact in MI tomorrow to see if he received his copy of the Interstate Compact so he knows I am still here. I havn't talked to him in a couple weeks because he was still waiting for the Interstate Compact and couldn't do anything until he had more information.