[geke99]

Hi -- We are considering adopting a sibling group of three waiting children ages 6, 7, 11. We are not currently fostering them, but will move to a foster-to-adopt situation if we decide to go forward. We have had the initial disclosure meeting, are waiting for the complete child assessments. We now are cleared to speak with the "collaterals" -- that is, the children's doctors, teachers, therapists, guidance counselors, foster parents. I writing to ask the list for advice on questions that they wished they had asked when they were in the adoption process.

thanks.

[sfbaymom2000]

I don't have much time right now, but I would ask about every possible behavior issues you can think of: hittingm spitting, lying, destructive behavior, hurting animals, hoarding, wetting/soiling, sleep problems, tantrums, rages, hurting themselves, acting out sexually, etc.

Ask what has been most challenging about them, and what has been most enjoyable. How is it taking them out in public? Any problems in school? Are they affectionate, playful, serious, sad, angry? Any ADHD, ODD, learning disabilities? Drug exposure?

Find out about past routine...what foods, toys, TV shows, movies, clothes they like. When/how do they bathe. Have stories, songs at bedtime?

Keep in mind that some descriptions are subjective, or given by people who have not spent much time with the child. M was described as quiet and shy, and I would not describe her that way (although I would describe her as wonderful!).

Godd luck!