[want2adopt3only]

OK, long story. This bio familiy has:

D age 16 lives with bio dad

C age ? She was mentioned in court and is remembered by sibs, but bio mom claims she never existed and DA couldn't prove she ever did exist

A age 14 lives in TFC home, does not want to be with sibs, also pending allegations against her for SA of younger sibs

M age 12 was trafficked as a baby, sold for drug$$, handicapped, adopted by foster parents

M age 7 lived with us 9 months, when we discovered SA with younger sibling

B age 5 now with us for 18 months, does not want to live with M again
B age 3 with us for 12 months
B age 2 with us for 18 months


2 and 3 yo's are reportedly full sibs, all others are 1/2

TPR was in July. Seperation of sibs was granted, we proceeded to adopt 3, then discovered bios had appealed.

In the meantime, DHS couldn't find M an adoptive home, so decided to rescind seperation of sibs and try to put the 4 kids back together. We came with an attorney and got them to back off pending outcome of SA Treatment. But, we feel it's in best interests of kids to not live with M again. According to DHS, there is no proof that SA even occured since I didn't see it. So, I am over reacting and have no way to prove that anything ever happened. So, it comes down to my opinion.

I need help to keep my kids safe!

[sfbaymom2000]

Well, we have had a few people ask now who E is when M mentions him. I have said, "He is M's brother, and he is living with another family". Not further questioning...so maybe I worried for nothing! We actually have our first sib visit today, with a different sib. I think this will be a good way for us to "ease" into the visits without them all there at once. M is very excited about it. Wish me luck!

[sfbaymom2000]

want2adopt3only -

Sorry - somehow I didn't see your response earlier. What a complicated situation. Ours is fairly complciated but not quite that much. Not to minimize at all the damage and hurt done to children by birth families sometimes, but it seems like the "system" can do as much or more damage! I definitely feel like that in our case. I am so glad we have M, and of course I don't think she should be moved now for many reasons. However, If things had been handled better all along, the kids might habe been able to stay together.

Good luck to you and hope everything works out. I wonder if we should lget an attorney. Any thoughts on that from anyone? Will it help? Our TPR is scheduled in early February. We've been told it will probably be continued because the court may want the kids represented by separate lawyers (they all have one now) because they have different permenancy plans. There is virtually no chance of M returning to bio parents, or birth family, we are told. Apparently the risk is that the court may want to try to place them together. If that were to happen, it would be M's 7th home in a little more than a year! She doesn't seem to have RAD yet...but I don't think she can handle another move!

We had the visit with T today, and that went very well. Turns out, he is with a couple from our PRIDE classes, so that was nice. We'll probably have another visit with all 4 of the kids, or at least 3 (it depends on the other two kids' situations), in the next couple weeks.

[want2adopt3only]

for TPR, I wouldn't get your own attorney. When we went through it, we found that the ADA and GAL had the situation well in hand. But post TPR, you may want to consider it.