[Redangel]

We are in the process of adopting our two foster children. Any day now our sons will be final. He has 3 silbings, the oldest one is in permant fc, and the outher two where being adopted, but it didnt go threw. They where placed back in a foster home that they used to live at and they have been doing great there.

Well today I get a phone call that their FM is very sick and they need a permant home for the kids. I had to decline for many different reasons. I feel so guilty, but know it was the right decession for our family. Well, I hope it was.

Anyone have to do the same?

[mj77]

I know someone who was in a similar position. Don't feel guilty. I wondered if our boys' bmoms had any more babies and we got a call, if we would need to turn down a placement. I thought about what I'd tell my son as they grew older, if they wondered why. I would tell him, you are our son, in order to give you and your (a)brother and you the best life we can, we weren't able to accept your bsibling's placement with us." I would request contact though with whoever they end up with so should one of my boys want to find a bsib, they could.

[mom to 3]

We had hoped to adopt our two boys when we heard that ** was due to give birth. Do to many factors, including wanting to focus on the boys as by this point, they were very needy, as well as concern over **'s antics during the 9 months, we declined. I really wanted a girl after 3 boys but agreed with my DH that it wasn't the right thing for the boys. We are glad things worked out the way they did. The poor baby was born with a genetic problem that leaves her at age 3 months even though she is 4 yrs now. Her little life will be shortened as well. Having her wouldn't have been the best for anyone involved. She is with a wonderful foster family who is willing to care for her long term. The FM was an emergency room nurse and there are no other young children in the house. The FP sre religious and have family and church support as well as frequent respite. We have had a long road to recovery with several family deaths and our Ason's dx with leukemia. We would have been overwhelmed and I would not have wanted the boys to deal with her frequent illness and shortened life span at close range. That is our story but I'm sure you had very good reasons also to make the decision you did. You should not feel pressured to do something that isn;t in your family's best interest. I hope that the other siblings will find the right permanent home for them.

[want2adopt3only]

How did you get a seperation of siblings in order to only take 2?