[Momoffive1966]

I would like to locate a family in the Sacramento/ Auburn California area that has or is adopting children thru the Foster Care system. We are new to Auburn and are in the process of adopting a sibling set. M is 8 years old and she is in 2nd grade. J is 4, nearly 5 and is a boy. We have two bio children 18, 16 and a 3 year old African American daughter we adopted in Orange County. She came to us at 11 months old and we just finished the adoption in May 2004.
I am looking for advice and support on bonding with these children and creating a new family out of a broken one. Any advice? I am nervous and want to be the best Mom ever.

[sfbaymom2000]

First, congratulations on your past and current adoptions! You may want to post something in the California section of this board, if you have not already. Also, I would put something about your geographic area in the subject. I live in Northern California also, but we do not have a placement yet. If you are interested in actually meeting other foster/adoptive parents, you might see if your county has a support group or association. Ours (Contra Costa) had a concurrent planning support group, but they are not currently meeting due to budget cuts. They have something called the Foster Families Network which has newsletters and events. I have not attended any events yet, but probably will after we are matched. Good luck to you!

Lynn

[Momoffive1966]

Thank you...we met with the sicial worker today and I was actually allowed to call the current foster home and talk to her about the kids. The little boy will be five tomorrow....
Thanks for the suggestion on the support groups, that's a good idea.
What age child are you looking to adopt?

[sfbaymom2000]

We are hoping to adopt a girl from 2-5 years old, but have been told to expect that we might have quite a wait.

That's great that you can talk to the foster mom. I would try to find out everything possible about any behavior issues, and about their current routine...do they bathe in AM or PM, when is homework done, when do they watch TV, etc. I would also ask about favorite shows, foods, toys/games. Hopefully you can do the transition slowly.

Have you read A Child's Journey Through Placement or Attaching in Adoption? They both have great advice about easing the adjustment and helping you children attach. I believe A Child's Journey also recommends that while you are visiting in the foster home, it is a good idea to have the fmom start something, like feeding the children. They she should have a reason to leave the room and ask you to finish helping the children. This shows them that she trusts you to care for them.

How long have the children been in this foster home. Will this be a fost/adopt placement, or are they legally free? Good luck to you with the transition!

Lynn

[Dianna]

Hi, there is a very good and active support group in Placer County. Call the Placer Kids Office at 530-887-9982. Sierra College also provides training opportunities. Call 916-781-6214. Good Luck!

[Momoffive1966]

Thank You.
Great Ideas.
The kids are legally free since March and we will be doing the transition over five weeks. We expect the kids to be here full time just after Thanksgiving. A slow transition has it's positives and it's negatives. As I am told, my daughter does not transition well and we are bracing ourselves for a difficult time. We are strong Christians and the current Foster Family are not. Our kids are from a Christian background and we are anxious to get them here. They live only 20 minutes from us.....it is exciting and a little scary. I will lookinto the books mentioned and over the next weeks do some study on areas I may be facing with the kids.

Jillian