[mom2GRLC]

We've had a beautiful little girl in our home for over a year and a half now. Last week she was about to go home to her mom....who after a year started following court order to get her baby back. a suprise drug test turned out positve and today at court we find out that the mom had signed the papers to terminate her rights a couple days after court last week.

There were some pretty smart reasons to decide to terminate her rights, but I was still in complete shock when i found out.

We have wanted to adopt this little girl for a long time now. If her mother couldn't get her back. Now that the tides have turned she seems very relieved that the whole situation is over. She is wanting us to keep in contact and we even offered visits once everything is finalized. She even stated she would like to start going to our church, which is wonderful.

I just can't believe how blessed we are. I have seen her mom cry and beg for a second chance. You could see the love in her eyes. It is so neat to know that this little girl has two moms who love her so much we were both willing to give her up to do what we thought would be in her best interests and also to bless each others lives. i feel a special conection to her birth mom as we both share such a special love for the same child.

Heavenly Father answers prayers and blesses our lives so much. We had to put our trust in him.....concerning her future and we know that this is Gods Will. Her Birth mom aggreed and said that we are meant to have her as our daughter. She said that she knows we can give her a better life than what she could.

I can't even put into words all the feelings I have fealt today.

I do understand the hard thing that she did in letting her go....I cried for her as i thought of what it must have been like for her to sign those papers and to live with that decision. I will forever be greatful to that special lady and she will always be in my prayers as she has always been.

My heart is so full. My life and family is now complete. What a wonderful feeling.

Don't ever give up hope and faith and trust in Gods Will.....he will always help you through and bless you beyond anything you can imagine.

[riley6]

Congratulations!!

I'm glad your dd gets to stay with you and you don't have a legal battle on your hands. Win-win for everyone.

How long until adoption?

[mj77]

Congratulations from me too!! What a sweet relief. You must feel a heaviness lifted. I pray this mom has the continued desire to keep her life on a good track. God is good!

[bumpkin]

Congratulations - It is nice to hear a happy ending!

[tybeemarie]

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story and your faith. What a blessing all of you are to one another! Your daughter really is so blessed to have 2 mothers who love her so unselfishly. I think it would be fantastic if you all are able to worship together at the same church. Keep us posted!

[2boyz1girl]

That is so great! The same thing happened with our dd's father. He agreed to relinquish two weeks before termination trial when she was a year and a half old. So I've felt that same joy, relief, and sympathy. We too maintain contact with him. Best wishes on your adoption. I see from your profile that this is your third, right?

[yanknrebel]

That is SO wonderful!! I often wonder if these birthparents, who have absolutely no luck nor any desire to work on or complete their caseplan, why they don't relinquish their rights and show that they have their child's best interest at heart. I feel that more foster parents would be willing to work with the birthparents on some form of contact after adoption with thier birthchildren. Whether it be by photos, visits or letters. My fd's bf has said he wants to relinquish as long as we adopt her. That is a given! Now, will he really do it?

[mom2GRLC]

Thank you so much for your love and support.

Yes, this is our third child. We finalized our 5 year olds adoption last May and we are going this tuesday to finalize our 6 month old baby girl. Now we just have to wait and see how things play out for our 2 1/2 year old girl.

Her birth father was never interested in her until about 3 months ago. He never did a paternity test but he did sign papers saying he is the father. Right after court he was taken to jail and then got out for a couple weeks and now he is back in jail and may be their for a long time. He hasn't signed to give up his rights yet. Does he need to??? Since everyone can see that he is not a great guy and jail is where he looks like he belongs....we are hoping the judge will automatically terminate his rights as well. That's the only thing holding us up from adopting her. We are hoping things will be smooth sailing from here on out.

My question is about her birth mom. She was planning on coming to our church this sunday. Sunday is also the last day she can change her mind about terminating her rights. I'm nervous that seeing her daughter again or not liking my church might make her change her mind. I'm also nervous that she is wanting to have contact with her before the adoption is finalized. I would never want anyone to take her out of our home because we are letting her birth mom have contact....without approval or supervised visits

However church is a public place and i can't tell her don't come. She has just as much right to be there as i do. I'm just scared that something might go wrong that would make us not get our baby. Anyone have any experience like this.

I did ask the attorney ad litem and he said it shouldn't be a problem but he wanted to make sure it was ok with DHS first. When i called the DHS supervisor she told me that she really didn't think she would actually show up. I asked if she wanted me to call her and ask her to wait until things are finalized but she told me not to. She said just wait and see if she actually shows up then to call her back and let her know if there are any problems. I don't expect any problems if she did show up.....I'm more concerned wether it will interfere with our fostering to adopt her.

[mgen]

I have a similar situation with my oldest fd who is 12. She is allowed to call her mom and does so once in a while. FD calls and invites mom to church...mom has come 2 times...the only problem we've had is that when they are alone mom tells her things that the fd doesn't need to know. We have now told fd that one of us needs to be within "ear shot" when her mom comes to church. You won't have that problem since your child is younger. I don't know what is said in the phone conversations either but have told fd to tell her mom she has to get off the phone if mom starts talking in ways she shouldn't. Good luck!

[tlc4kidz]

I can't believe it! There must be something going around this week. We just found out today our fc's bp's are consenting. It's been a long day full of emotion, but we are so thankful that it is coming to an end and maybe finally we can move on and enjoy our family as complete.

Congrats to you!! It is such a bittersweet feeling, isn't it?

[tybeemarie]

Jessica:

If you have told the child's attorney and DHS that the birth mother may attend services at your church, don't worry about anyone thinking you have attempted to get around visitation orders. I think the DHS supervisor is right: just wait and see what happens. Has she been inappropriate with your child in the past? If so, just make sure any contact is supervised by you. As for her changing her mind, that is something you don't have a lot of control over. I think that considering the issue in the context of faith and worship is the best way to do so, and if she's in church with you all, that is more likely to be the way she considers her decision. I recognize that this is an anxious time, that time before your daughter is officially yours. So, I'm not saying this is easy. But in the end, I think you and the birth mother will have a better relationship and more peace in your hearts if you are welcoming to her when she comes to your church. And, if you try to prevent her from coming, or if you close yourself off to her, it may make her nervous about consenting to the adoption. You seem like a loving person who has treated this birth mother with respect. I think that is the right approach. No need to change now--it's gotten you this far! I wish you God's peace as you wait for your adoption.

Foster ma--CONGRATULATIONS! Very exciting news! Let us know when you have the big adoption day!

[mom2GRLC]

I've been poting lately under "False Allegations of Foster Parent Abuse=Investigation" under Foster parent support. I forgot where this post was for a while.

We should be getting our little girl back soon...hopefully before thanksgiving but it may be the week after. If all goes well...which it should.

Her birthmom is very nice and hasn't acted innapropriatelly with supervised visits...but when she was doing home visits and a couple weekend visits there were some problems. Potentially dangerous situations. Any visits her mom has will be supervised by us.....the whole time. Her birthmom is a wonderful person and I'm growing to like her more and more....especailly since i have seen the love she has for her child in her eyes. But I still will be cautious as to how open of an adoption this will be. I know I am not obligated to have her visist at all...but I feel it will be good for (OUR) little girl. She will always be an important person in our little girls life....and while we are here in this area(we are in the military) I would love for our our little girl to have a positive relationship with her birthmom.....plus I would like to get some of the details of her birth...family history...etc.

Her family is so happy for us..they all know how much we love this little girl and have all spoken to us privately...before the mom even signed her rights...how they hoped we would get her...or that if their daughter couldn't get her back....that they knew we would be the next best choice.

With our previous two adoptions through fostercare we never met the family....so this time....we have all new feelings associated in the process....it's not just us and the child.....it's everyone involved who cares about our little girl and wants the best for her. It makes me so happy that they put so much trust in us...when they don't really even know us that much.....but they said from the very begining that they automatically knew how much we loved her...by the way she acted with us and the pictures we gave them...they could see how happy she was. It's all these things that really make me feel that We were meant to have this little girl...and even though we've been through a lot of rough times with her(very moody..was exposed to drugs)..the case...or this "Investigation. She is meant to be our little girl....everything inside me tells me we will get her back and we will be able to adopt her. God will provide a way.

[2boyz1girl]

Sorry, I missed something....get her back from where? I thought her bparents had relinquished.

[mom2GRLC]

We are fostering her for over a year and an half now....her mom signed over her rights wanting us to adopt her....dad refuses to sign but will most likely have rights terminated by the judge in December since he is in jail and not in any way able to care for her....bad previous record. He can still appeal the judges decision (if she decides to terminate his rights) and if he does..he still will most likely not get her...but it will delay our adoption.

At the end of last month the pre-school that another foster boy went to...reported us for child abuse because of some bruises he had on him from playing at the park a few days earlier. They had to do a formal investigation because it was reported to the police not DHS. So they had to remove all foster kids in our care until the investigation was complete. That included our little girl since we are still fostering her.

We went in for an interview with the police to tell them what happened and today they came out to inspect our home. Now they just have to write up their report... to say wether they will open up a case or say it was unsubstantiated. Each time we talk to the police they say there isn't a case...and they have no worries about us....but they still have 30 days to finish the investigation....which will hopefully be done before thanksgiving...or maybe the week after. As soon as they say we are good to go...we get our little girl back.

I never imagined being the one investigated for a crime against children...we are the ones who protect kids from people who abuse them. We were warned about false allegations before we started fostering....it's just one of those things you never think will happen to you.

So we've had to suffer through not having our little girl with us...for a couple weeks now.....and when we get her back we will have to help her through the confusion of what has just happened to her.

It has been the longest couple of weeks in my life and I have made my self sick with migraines worrying....I will be so happy when it is all over and I get to hold her in my arms again....I'll never let her go. I miss her so much. Her biological mom knows about what is going on...and is on our side 100%...but I know it still hurts her to think of her child with a stranger.....it's probably hard enough to deal with her being in our home....even though she knows how much we love her and she decide to sign over her rights so we could adopt her.

[2boyz1girl]

How awful! I'm guessing you've written this all somewhere else, but I've only been following the threads I am already subscribed to.

That is one of my hugest fears -- that we will get falsely reported for child abuse. Every time one of our kids got a bruise I would just hope that a caseworker didn't stop by. Which is rediculous -- we are here to help the children, and while it's good that "the system" is watching out for their best interest, it puts a LOT more stress on those of us really caring for their best interest. I've always felt like we had to meet supernatural standards just to be foster parents (much of that is just my own paranoia, not really required).

I hope that everything works out, and quickly. I can't even imagine -- not only do you have to deal with the risk that your children might go to their birthfamilies, now you're dealing with your children going somewhere else. Good luck. How old is she?