[ChrisO238]

Sorry if this question has been asked before but I've not been on the boards for awhile.

My husband and I are hoping to adopt a girl from our county and will be doing respite for her current foster parents. We have never done respite before and in fact have only had one child in our home that ended being a failed adoption. Has anyone ever been in this situation before? I'm just not sure what to expect and was hoping you guys could shed some light on this.

The workers are hoping that this will help us all get to know each other and we can observe (if that's the word I want to use) her without commitments. I hope that makes sense. They're hoping that this way we can see the real her (is that what I want to say?). As you can see I'm a little nervous about this but I'm hoping everything will turn out the way I want it to.

Thanks for listening!
Chris

[BrandyHagz]

Chris,

Does the child know that you are a potential Adoption Placement for her? The reason I ask is because it might be very hard for you to get a grasp of the real her, especially if she knows that you could end up being her forever family, in just a few days/hours.

Generally speaking, when a child moves to a new home or even goes for visits during transition, they go thru what everyone here on the forums calls a “Honeymoon” period.

It may take weeks before you start to see her true colors.

Please don’t let a successful respite visit be the determining factor when it comes to long term placement…ask to look at her file, talk to her foster parents at length and even speak to her GAL or CASA Volunteer.

Good luck with the visit!

[ChrisO238]

Brandy - No she will have no idea that we could be her forever family. Since everyone is the same county it will be easy for us to get to know her foster parents. I think they were even in the same training classes as us. Our cw is good about making sure we have all the info we need, so it should not be a problem looking at her file.

Thanks for the advice and the support! I really appreciate it.
Chris

[luv'mall]

hi Chris,
Both our children were placed with us as respite care, though we were not aware at the time that we would be considered to adopt them. Though respite care will give you a limited insight into the child, it does give you some, i.e.how does the child respond to your home, your pets, other children in the home, the neighborhood, your lifestyle, personality. This time also give a child the same insight into how they might feel about being in your home.
It is however a good idea to still talk with the sw and foster parents about any issues the child might have, to be able to gauge how you feel about her issues and whether you feel equipt to deal with them. It also helps you put in place any help you might need from professionals.
Knowing how devistating a blown placement can be, it certainly can help to gauge the situation.

Good luck

Sue