[Yolanda]

So, I have read about fos-adopt and have read all of your comments. My question is: has anyone specified with the agency that they are working with that they will only take a child who is "free to adopt"? I know of someone who did recently and by luck received their child almost immediately. I know that this situation was probably a very rare one, and I am not concerned with that for myself. I just would like to know if it happens.
Thanks
Yolanda

[Peggy]

Yes, in most states you can request that you want to be considered for children who have already gone through tpr (termination of Parental rights). My daughter moved in in June, and her tpr was in February or March.

[Yolanda]

Peggy
Thanks!
The person that I know who went through a fos-adopt situation
is going to meet with me and let me know all the details.
Thanks again
Yolanda

[sfbaymom2000]

Just curious...Peggy, how old was your daughter when she was placed with you? Yolanda, how old was the child your friend was placed with? My understanding is that there are few children who are legally free, and they tend to be older (over 8) and/or sibling groups. I am curious because we are looking for a girl from 2-5 years. Since we have a 7 year-old daughter, we can not take a child over 5 at this time (our social worker even said 6 years would be too close in age to our bio daughter).

Thanks!
Lynn

[Lorraine123]

We also did foster to adopt and requested only legally free children. My daughter was placed with us a year ago and she was 6 years old at the time.

[Peggy]

My daughter had just turned 8 when she was placed with me. It is true there are fewer younger children who have already gone through tpr. But they are out there. There are more boys than girls. You may have to wait longer or rethink possible fost-adopt, but a situation with a very low level of legal risk. Best of luck.

[Yolanda]

My friend had just finished all the necessary requirements for a fos-adopt say, on a friday and they got a call on monday a.m. saying come to the hospital and pick up your baby. He was hours old when they were told and a day or so when he was in their home.
I have read some things about the chances of the process not being completed and having to give the child up and I don't think that I am okay with that. I will still investigate fos-adopt but I am considering private adoption more seriously.
Thanks
Yolanda

[sfbaymom2000]

Yolanda,

Just trying to understand this. So your friend was working through CPS for fost-adopt and got a legally free newborn? That is amazing! Did the birthparents voluntarily terminate their rights? Or were they given no services because of prior children already having been removed?

I am not interested in a newborn anyway, but just surprised at this situation. Our plan is still to do fost-adopt, and request a very low-risk placement, even though we may wait longer. Of course, if there was a legally free child that was a good match for us, that would be wonderful! Good luck to you!

Lynn

[HappyMomAnna]

Legallly free (or close to it) new borns.... are VERY very VERY rare but there are situations this can happen.

We adopted a four and one year old....seven months later mom had another baby and we were called to see if we wanted to adopt him as well....sadly that would have been too much for our older child to deal with and we had to say no---we were asked several questions about our desire to have contact--if we wanted to have adult only contact and other interesting questions....in the end I told the caseworker I wanted the baby to be placed with a family that had contacted our state for a Straight Adoption and whom had been waiting for an infant...the caseworker told me he respected that and that the search for a home would be families interested in straight adoption and that the Foster to Adopt program would be by passed.

I learned last week that the baby had been released from the hospotial to a couple who had waited for some time to adopt an infant and that his adoption will soon be final.

It can happen that a new born is 'ready' to be placed into an adoptive home but I can imagine this is very rare--I would not enter the program thinking this is a possiblity to wait for--generally it takes at least 18 months for a Termination of Parental rights to even be started.... The odds of a legally free infant are very low.

[sfbaymom2000]

Hi Anna,

I remember reading a post of yours a while back, discussing some of the behavioral issues you had faced. How are things going now? Do you feel like the adjustment has been more difficult than you anticipated, or about what you expected?

Lynn

[HappyMomAnna]

Honestly I would have to say that after a year and a half the adjusment has been more difficult then we expected for both children.... But, we anticipated it would be hard and long and interesting so..... we got what we expected.

I think that my best advice is to plan on the worst and expect attachment issues with any child who is placed even our little boy has had some anxious attahcment problems and he was only one when placed....the issues didn't surface for nearly nine months--being READY for attahcment to be part of the process would have helped us more....it seems the state wants to minimize this issue when placing but it is logical that with each new move attachment can be a problem.... So anticipation of these matters would have helped.

[Yolanda]

Lynn
I believe that she had other children already taken away while pregnant with the last. And I think she signed the papers while still pregnant, does that make sense? I will be talking with her (my friend) soon so I'll have exact details to go on.
I am not specifically interested in an infant, I would prefer a toddler (1-4yr). I am particularly interested in a Turner Syndrome child because of our life experience with our daughter.
Most people think that Down's Syndrome and Turner Syndrome is one and the same but it isn't. There can be retardation in Turners but it is rare, there are just many other physical ailments as in any birth defect that need to addressed. My daughter has a rare and indivdual type of Turners, so even she isn't the norm. She does have developmental delays but it is figured to be from her other birth defects.
Thanks to all.

[sfbaymom2000]

Yolanda,

I have never heard of Turner's Syndrome, but I think it is great that you would like to use your experience to help another child with this syndrome.

I saw that you are in CA. We are in Contra Costa County. What county are you in? Have you been to an orientation yet?

You said you are more seriously considering private adoption, but I would think you might have a better chance of finding a child with Turner's Syndrome through fost-adopt, especially if you want a toddler. I could be wrong, but I think the private agencies mainly deal with infants.

I am also very scared about the chance of a child returning to their birth parents, but I do know four families who have successfully adopted through foster care. Three got single girls at two to three years of age, another adopted a three sisters. Anyway, good luck to you!

Lynn

[Yolanda]

Lynn
I haven't been to any orientations or required classes as yet.
This is really still in the research phase, and I'm just exploring my options. My heart says this is the right thing to do but my head says to make sure that it's right for the whole family,especially my kids.
We are in Placer County which is where my friend is and she is going to give me a list of agencies and people to talk to.
Thanks
Yolanda