[Gwen]

SIBLINGS UPDATE....
We had our meeting this morning and the Social workers and adoption worker have placed the girls up for adoption without their brother. Meaning that our little guy will stay here.
For all of you that gave me the reasons for keeping contact with the girls - thanks. My hubby and I presented the agency with a contact plan this morning and the girls adoptive placement will need to keep contact woth us and their brother. You really help me see why contact would be a good thing.......
Thanks to all
Gwen

[spaypets]

So you will be able to adopt him? I didn't comment on your original post, but I fumed at the idea that anyone would think it better to take the boy from the only family he's ever really lived with to place him with sisters he has only visited. I agree you should do everything possible to ensure these children continue to know each other, but there wasn't a sibling relationship there. I thought far more damage would be done to take him from the siblings he saw every day in favor of ones he only had a bio relationship to.

I'm glad that good sense seems to be prevailing. And I congratulate you on opening your heart to maintaining contact.

[Gwen]

Yes we will be able to adopt. We need to do the classes and a current homestudy.
But we are on our way!!!!!!!!

[HappyMomAnna]

Congratulations! I do hope you understand that I support what is right and best for children--my only worry was that the system would not support the desires you have and I wanted you to find the words to express in the even it did become a battle....Not everyone gets this outcome! And I am so glad you have decided to keep contact with the sisters.....

I am actually very glad to hear this...... it does not always turn out this was and I am happy the battle over some of these things went on here and not with caseworkers....!

Anyway congratulations....and no hard feelings I hope!

[Gwen]

No hard feelings. It was best to battle out the good and the bad here. Your advice (ALL OF IT) was very good for me!!!!!! I am pleased that I had a chance to get good solid unbiased advice!!!!!
Thanks again
Gwen

[dadfor2]

hi gwen

congrats....im sure you are thrilled and so is your family. I am also one that was kinda giving you a hard time about siblings placed together.....but we didnt know all the facts

so congrats...im sure this is what is best for all these children. And im even more excited, but i am an outsider, that this boy will be able to have visits with his bio siblings.

families are all so different now then how they use to be...but we can all open our hearts and invite more people in our lives that are important to us...

extended families are far more better then no families....

dadfor2

[Gwen]

Thank you......
The extended, blended family is really something we gave a lot of thought to....thanks to all of you!!!!!!!

[coachmur]

I just read this thread for the first time today. Are you adopting a little boy that has two sisters elsewhere? I can tell you a story about just such a thing. A child was placed in foster care. After 2 years the child went up for adoption. The foster family considered adopting the child but followed the advice of all the "experts" instead. The advice was to put the child with two other siblings. None of them(the siblings) knew each other. After 3 years the child still wants to be with her "family" (foster family) and she has no connection with the amom at all. It has caused a lot of grief in two families. In other words I think you did the right thing by leaving your boy where he is.

M

[tlc4kidz]

It really has been interesting watching these posts from the outside, but I never could seem to figure out where to jump in as we are in the middle of a conflict re: sibs ourselves. Our fd's got quite a few older sibs in several different adoptive homes...none of them able to take her. She's been with us over a year and has a younger sib due shortly. Our first reaction was NO MORE kids. We had all kinds of excuses...2 bios and her, house too small, no daycare...you know I'm sure. After going through the original posts and lots of thought and discussions I think we likely will take sib IF he/she is removed. We are beginning tpr with our other and haven't been to committee yet, but will in the next month or so. We were told we have legal preference, but of course it's never over 'til the fat lady sings!! You all have helped put in perspective how important the sib bond is...thank you. Our situation is a little different than your's because the other child will be an infant. In my heart I feel it's the right thing to do, but still VERY scary for someone who had no intentions of adopting at all.

[riley6]

I'm glad DCFS is doing the right thing by your son. Pray for his sisters that they get a wonderful adoptive family who can provide for all their needs and who are willing to be extended family to you! Congratulations mommy!

[azurelupe]

i think siblings should be placed together as best as possible. if it's not possible for everyone in the group to be placed within the same family, they should at least be placed very close to each other. then can can still be together like if they attend the same school, etc. but it's best for them to stay together, especially if they'd been together the whole time. are you close to where the girls were placed so they can visit their brother?

[jacindalou]

Hi. I am totally new in here, only been a licensed foster parent for a couple of months.

I feel that sibs should be placed together, but that can't always work out, so the second best option would be to let there be contact between siblings, especially if they were together before being taken by DCFS. If sibs weren't ever together, I would hate to see social workers ripping kids out of homes where attachments had already formed. I think it totally depends on all the details- not one situation is the same.

My DH and I just met 2 sibs today who will hopefully be placed with us next week. But now, we are wondering, is the house big enough, car big enough...all those thoughts. I suppose those thoughts are normal when you go from a family of two to four just like that!