[Anigel]

Does anyone have a traget age group, that they are looking for?

It seems that quite a few foster-to-adopt postings are people who are seeking the harder to place ages. The younger children for instance. Or is that a faulty impression?

What made you decide to foster to adopt, instead of straight adoption?

[mckenna]

Does anyone have a traget age group, that they are looking for?

i take children 2 and under. initially it was because i am a single working mom and while infants and young toddlers are a lot of work, i feel that children who are older and have had tramatic home lives, need more time and attention then one full time working parent can give them. now i have adopted and my son is 2 1/2 and i don't want to disrupt his birth order, so i will not take children older than him.

It seems that quite a few foster-to-adopt postings are people who are seeking the harder to place ages. The younger children for instance. Or is that a faulty impression?

i don't know

What made you decide to foster to adopt, instead of straight adoption?

i originally went into fostering to stricktly foster, then my son became available for adoption and he had been in my home since he was 3 months old, by the time he was adopted at 2 1/2 we were already mother and son there was no way i was letting him go.

[honeyb70]

We chose to foster age 0-10. We have children already and because we are young, would not feel old enough to be parents of teens.
Also, we did not want our children to be exposed to concepts (sex, drugs, foul language) that are common among troubled teens.

I think more people want younger kids, because they may have less problems and will be able to attach easier.

We chose foster adopt over straight adoption, because finacially straight adoption was not an option for us. We also wanted to help children during a difficult time, while we waited for a child who was available for adoption.

[niece]

I would love to adopt from the foster care system, but i would love to have a child under the age of 4 so taht I can establish a relationship and help with any delays before the child begins school.
Here is my email address janieceowens@hotmail.com if you have any suggestions for me.
Thank you for making this posting.
Niece

[niece]

I ment to say that I would love to adopt a child from foster care age range for us would be infant to 4 yrs old.
Thank you again
Niece

[Anigel]

My husband and I are looking for a child between 5-12, as my boss put it, elem. school age. I think my "wish" is for a little girl between 8-10. We broaded our ages because we're considering a sibling group. Only two, we don't have space for more. That's why we broadened the ages. The thought of parenting a teen is rather scary for me. How would you bond? Besides, I'm only 23 (hubby is 33) so I feel it would be almost impossiable to be viewed as a parent.

I read somewhere that there is a 10 year required age difference, so I don't have to worry about teens yet.

mckenna - I love to hear stories like yours, where everthing works out!

[newkid]

We decided to foster/adopt a child birth to age 5. Why? They asked us what age child we really wanted. Why foster /adopt instead of outright adoption? There are so many kids out there in the foster care system that deserve good families. You only really hear about the bad families. That's why we're doing it.

[riley6]

We wanted a girl, 5-10 yrs.

We were planning on adopting my neice and needed a foster homestudy to have her move in. DCFS chose another family over us then called with another child who would be available some day after tpr. We said yes. Family came forward and was granted custody of that child. How ironic that we lost a family member then lost our foster child to her family member!

We've had almost 20 foster children and are adopting our last four. Both girls were outside our "desired" age and came with brothers. We couldn't have chosen better kids for our family, but God sent us the kids who were meant to be with us!

[JadedSaint]

While we are still awaiting to have our initial interview, my husband and I have discussed at length the ages of the kids we would like to adopt. First off, we would like to do straight adoption without foster care. Secondly, we are open to a sibling group of 2 kids ages 10 or under. I know this sounds very picky for now, but we are open to other ideas once we meet with our Family Case Planner!

[Anigel]

Sharon -

I don't think your target sounds at all picky. At my orientation the other day our cordinator was telling up that there are lots of children 5 and up waiting for families. It's the people who want a blue eyed 2 year old Girl CC, that I worry for. I might be wrong, but I think it's a good idea to know what you're looking for. As it will help your Social Worker create the best match.

[tsbuell]

We are in the process now for our license. We have a bio Daughter, age 5. She is getting ready for school this fall. I have read alot about birth order and we have decided to leave her as the oldest and only take girls younger. We have involved her as much as possible with the decision of age and gender and she said she really wants to help aa little girl. We feel including her as much as we can will help with the home change that is coming.

We feel it could take a while with being placed with someone by being so restrictive on our desires, but we need to make sure the whole environment is at its best, so we can help the transition be as smooth as possible.

I think rushing into it could be the worst thing for everyone.

Good luck to all.

Remember there is no "I cant' only "How can I"

[jamie3]

We wanted an elementary aged boy. Our baby will be 10 this summer and we wanted someone old enough to be able to play with him.

However, God had other plans. We now have 2 & 3 year old boys. We didn't think we had room, but God had other plans and someone offered to sell us a bunkbed. We didn't think we could find daycare, but there was an opening at my friend's daycare & the state has covered the cost. I can tell you so many more things that made this decision obvious to us.

We never did consider an infant and turned down 2 because I know we can't handle that. I am not sorry though for the way things worked out. They are great!

[HopefulMommyNC]

we have a 5yo bio that is going to start school in the fall and since I cannot have children I wanted very young children. we a taking 0-2yrs boy or girl hispanic or white. if it's picky to bad that is what we feel will be best for our family.

[JadedSaint]

I find it interesting that the issue of target ages came up this weekend, not once, but twice. Since Dh & I have begun to tell friends and family that we are adoptiong an older child, or possibly siblings, it is only natural to ask questions. We're sticking with what feels right to us: age 10 & under. We are fully aware that there may not be infants or toddlers available through state adoption. We preparing ourselves for the "elementary age" up to 10. Part of it is also the huge number of elementary age kids in our neighborhood, and us having a desire to participate in neghborhood/school events. Yet 2 relatives keep asking why we don't want to adopt a baby! I find it aggrivating, and upsetting. If there were an over-abundance of 0-2 available, I'd go for it. But realizing the need of parents for over 5 made us think that WE can be those parents. I'm hoping that as our PRIDE classes begin, we'll learn more tactful ways in dealing with this. I appreciate your letting me vent

[Anigel]

Sharon-

I totally understand where you're coming from, like I said we're waiting for a child (sib group of 2?) between 5-12.

The office manager here at the office wanted to know why we "didn't want a baby". I handled that one okay.

The one that threw me for a loop was a friend who asked me at the 1st of the year when were we going to start TTC. I told her we want to adopt, she got all weird on me, and told me all kinds of horrible things/strains that children put on a marriage. Then why ask when am I going to be ready to TTC!

Of course there are always the people that tell their horror stories about "a friend of a friend" who adopted and had a horrible time of it. Those are the ones that hit me. I always feel like I'm explaining to a brick wall. Support groups, the agency counseling, knowledge of attachment issues, it seems none of it gets through. Sometimes I just nodd, hoping they'll will stop talking.