[JadedSaint]

Angiel,

Thank you for truly understanding me! I think as time goes on, those well-meaning people will understand what to say, or what not to say. TTC is just as stressful than adoption. I don't think I could rank one higher than the other because everyone's situation is unique. I'm starting to let those well-meaning comments for through deaf ears, because some just don't get it. As long as DH & I remain positive about what WE are doing, then I don't care what anyone else says if I adopt a 9 year old vs. a 6 month old! I can politely try to educate those who make snippy comments, but I'm not sure it will work.

[Anigel]

Once most everyone knows, it does seem to be better. I think it's been a couple of weeks since some tried to pull me aside to "educate" me. LOL.

You perspective is great. After all we are the ones welcoming new children into our house. Come H}ll or Highwater they will be our children. (once we're done waiting that is. hehe)

[mj77]

We are open to a baby under age 1. We have a 2 1/2 year old. We were told adopting again through the state might be a chalenge if the committee sees that we just adopted a young child and there are couples that are childless and waiting. We are not looking to nessesarily foster to adopt on a regular basis. We made an exception on one child in peticular due to the circumstances but I am scared of having my heart broken. Maybe this might be the only way we'll be able to get a baby through the state?

[JadedSaint]

Originally posted by mj77
We are open to a baby under age 1. We have a 2 1/2 year old. We were told adopting again through the state might be a chalenge if the committee sees that we just adopted a young child and there are couples that are childless and waiting. We are not looking to nessesarily foster to adopt on a regular basis. We made an exception on one child in peticular due to the circumstances but I am scared of having my heart broken. Maybe this might be the only way we'll be able to get a baby through the state?

From what I've been told, and from what I read, it's nearly impossible to adopt a child under age 1 through the state since it could easily take a year to terminate the parental rights. I'm sure there are always different circumstances though. I'm not sure an adoption agency would EXCLUDE you because you recently adopted and others are still waiting. <I still cringe at the word childless; I hate to be reminded.> Fost-to-adopt seems to be the best way to secure the age requirement you are seeking. Best of luck to you!

[mj77]

I think foster to adopt might give us a better chance at a baby too. My son was 13 mo. when we got him. He would have been 8 mo. but the foster mom faught it. We have our homestudies(through DHS) in currently for 5 babies under 8 mo. that are up for adoption and are for the most part healthy now (were born exposed to drugs in the womb but are doing well at this point). They are legal risk though--most of them anyway. These babies barely hit the bulletin and have a committee date set. There are young ones out there. We have a great case worker though who jumps right in on these kids for us.

[brookeer]

We just came from our fist meeting and the cw told us this story....She is trying to place a baby not even born yet (due next week) to a family who have already been approved to foster. She said this mother had children taken away before and for mental health issues, will never be able to parent. The baby will be taken straight from the hospital and given to fp's who will likely adopt within six months. So it does happen, it's all in the history of the bio mom. Hope this helps! We will hopefully be approved in a month and will start out seeking 0-6 months. If, after a while we don't get any placements, we will up our age level. I know they will also call you about placements outside of your sex choice/age group. So you always have the option of saying "NO", it's just so hard.