[nana-bren]

Hi everyone,My husband and i live in nc.and we want to adopt from the state,or any state.but he does not want to be a foster parent first.would like to hear from anyone who has experience with this.we are interested in ages 0 to 10.either sex,possibly a sibling group of 2.thanks,Brenda

[alicia hunter]

have you been on the website to look at the nation's waiting children? There are lots of kids waiting there. It is unlikely that w/o doing fostercare you will get a kid under 4-5 years old. Good luck!

[JuliannaTeresa]

If you can specifically say physically, emotionally and mentally what you are looking for in a child or children? Adopting without Fostering is very doable!

Look at the Websites www.adoptablekids.com, and www.adoptuskids.com.

Also as a Family, determine the amount of time do you want to wait to Adopt?

The Advantages of Foster Care are you can see how the relationships of all Parties develops before making a decision!

With straight Adoption, you are financially responsible. with Foster Adoption there are Subsidies which help provide the kids with needed Services!

With straight Adoption, you also have more Independence!

[riley6]

You can get a state subsidy without fostering first. I have friends doing this right now.

[DianeS]

nana-bren, people choose straight adoption of a child in foster care all the time. It's doable. You just have to know what you're doing and what you choose not to do.

You have to make it CLEAR that you can only be matched with a child who is already legally free - that is, a child whose biological parents have already had their rights terminated in court (or who have voluntarially signed off) and for whom all appeals and time limits have expired, and for whom there are no acceptable bio relatives attempting to get approved. That is the only way to ensure the children will not be returned to the biological parents or other family.

This does limit the number of children available, as many people choose some degree of risk.

Some people are willing to accept children whose parental rights have been terminated, but for whom time for appeals still exists.
Some people are willing to accept children whose parents are on their way to the termination trial.
Some people are willing to accept children whose parents may or may not end up with their rights terminated.
Etc. All those people are at risk (varying degrees of risk) for the children to be returned to the bio parents.

Straight adoption of already legally-free children is the closest to risk-free that you can get. But as you see, many children will no longer be in that category, as they will be placed with families before they become legally free and therefore they would not be considered for your family as they already have one.

Usually, it's the younger and healthier children who are selected by people willing to take those risks. It leaves older children to be selected by people who choose straight adoption. As someone else said, you're much liklier to find an 8 or 10 year old than a 4 or 5 year old through Straight Adoption.

States usually resist people who choose straight adoption. They'd much rather have more foster parents. But stand your ground and simply refuse. Learn your state's rules for terminating parental rights, and don't accept children whose parents and other relatives are not completely finished with that. (Different states call the stages different things, just be sure you're familiar with your state's definitions.)

Remember that depending on your state rules, you may have to be *licenced* as foster parents - the children may be legally free and in your home, but until the adoption is finalized some states consider the children to still be foster children and therefore require their pre-adopt parents to be licenced foster parents. So watch for that lingo, too.

Good luck!

[dadfor2]

interesting...learn something new everyday.

maybe its different here in MA. we wanted to adopt. never thought about being foster care parents.

it wasnt an issue at all.

first,call DSS then attend MAPP classes, with other adoptive parents.

then get homestudyied and approved and start looking for your waiting child.

when you get to that point, definitly come here and let us know.
there are so many kids....we adopted siblings, 5 and 7 at the time. there are kids that are younger but you wont find them on a website. My kids were not on any website and they were both legally free for adoption.

the reason im saying is when you get to the point your looking at children seriusly, the adoption world has a different language.
ex: full of energy...could mean ADHD, etc....

anyway, good luck, there are alot of kids that need homes out there...you do not need to be a foster parent first. but thats here in my state.

dadfor2

[ncmtnmommy]

Hi Brenda. We also live in NC and are in the preliminary stages to adopt without fostering. If you'd like to email me at ncmtnmommy@yahoo.com, I'd love to hear from you!

[parrothead]

Hi, we just finished going through just what you asking. We were placed with an 11 year old that the state matched us with. We sent tons of homestudys to other states but nothing panned out. Our sw actually suggested straight adoption as opposed to fostering. It just fit our lifestyle better. We were placed in January and the court will be petitioned in March.

[nana-bren]

thanks everone for your input.we are still not sure what will work best for us.but appreciatr your input.Brenda

[MrsGroves1]

We, too are hoping to adopt thru the foster care system, and are taking the necessary steps in order to do so. My husband, howere, is not interested in fostering first at this time. Will this hinder our chances of being placed with a child 0-5yrs of age?
Are there any agencies out there that assist in the placement and adoption of younger children with special needs?
Any help would be much appreciated.
Thank you

[Barksum]

Mrs. Groves and Nana-bren:

I posted under MrsGroves other post as well. We have adopted two children through our state foster system. Our first DS was 26 months old when he was placed adoptively with us. We did not foster him first. Our second DS was 14 months old when placed with us, and we also did not foster him first. Neither was a legal risk placement; that is both of them were legally free for adoption. Their bio parents had either had their rights terminated or had relinquished.

Our first adoption was 10 months from homestudy to placement; second adoption was 4 months from the time we started looking. (We had our homestudy already done.) I personally know other families who have adopted young children ages 2 and under from the foster system, and who were not the foster parents of those children.

It is possible to adopt young children (toddlers) from the foster system, but you have to remember that the majority do have special needs, just as the older waiting children do. For instance, our oldest DS has ARND and our younger DS was prenatally exposed to a variety of toxic substances and was drug addicted at birth.

The whole adoption process does vary from state to state, and you can't judge the children available by the photolistings. Some states only post on the internet children for whom they have a difficult time recruiting. (higher level of special needs, older, sibling groups) Obviously, if you wish to adopt a child of any age from the foster system you will have to be willing and able to parent children with the possibility of a variety of special needs.

[nana-bren]

Barki,thanks for your post.IT sounds like you were blessed.I have heard its very hard to get younger children without fostering first.maybe the stae you live in makes a difference too.thanks for your words of encouragement.Brenda

[MrsGroves1]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have restored hope! It's always great to hear someone else has triumphed especially when it is so closely related to the things we're going thru. I would really like to keep in touch and maybe keep you as a continued resourse if you don't mind. We did speak with our homestudy worker and she also continues to encourage us with our wait. She continues to tell us that we are doing the right thing and that the hardest part is the wait BUT it will all be worth it, in the end. Thank you again.
Melissa and Scott

[JadedSaint]

Hi Everyone. I have learned so much form this thread. I am new to this board, and posted under the "Arizona" board, but it does not seem to be a very active board. My husband and I are just starting to learn about adoption through the foster care system, and attended the orientation. We also filled out our initial application and are waiting for our Intake Interview. Like the original poster, we are seeking to adopt a sibling group of 2, or an older child. But we are still in the learning process, so I am open to what our agency has to say. I look forward to getting to know all of you and to share your experiences with a newbie!

[MrsGroves1]

I would just like to say WELCOME!! We're glad you've joined us. I, too, have found lots of encouraging words from the people in this thread. I am so glad I stummbled across Adoptionforums. It has been a god send.
My husband and I are from Ia. and are coming to the end of our PS-MAPP classes. We have our second to the last homestudy consultation coming in a week or two and are tremendously thrilled to, hopefully soon, welcome our newest addition to our family. I have a 6 yr old bio daughter, whom my husband adopted last year and she also can't wait to have a little brother.
If you ever have any questions this is the place to come. Everyone is so willing to help where ever possible. It's a great place to make friends and form networks.
again welcome!
Melissa