[mckenna]

i may be jumping the gun here, but there is finally a tentive adoption date set for my 2 y/o foster son. i am planning on taking the thursday before the adoption off and spending it with my son and having adoption family pictures taken (with just me and my son). the adoption is on friday (hopefully)! i am wondering whether i should take my other foster child (who is one) to the adoption or not. she is actually my son's 1/2 bio sister, but at this time it looks as though her parents are working to get her back and i feel if they continue to have as much progress as they have had in the last month, she will be reunited sometime at the end of the year or beginning of next. i am torn, because whether she stays or not, she is just as much a part of our family as my son is, but this is his day and i want to focus as much attention on him as i can. has anyone ever had a similar situation and how did you handle it?

[lambeausam]

I say take her with you. As of today, the three of you are a family. No one knows for sure what next week or next month will bring. We treat family portraits the same way. Whoever is in our home that day is in the picture.

The only time I would hesitate to bring other foster children is if they are older and the ceremony would be too much for them to handle emotionally. The child would be the one to make that decision. Obviously this is not applicable in your case.

I'm so glad to hear that you are so close to reaching his adoption date!

[mckenna]

thanks, i don't think i am going to bring her for the pictures, because that is going to be a tommy and mommy day, but i think i will probably take her to the adoption, so many friends and family want to be there, i am sure someone will be able to take care of her.

[DianeS]

Do you have a formal portrait of him with that 1/2 sister? Honestly, I would think that would be important to him later in life, to know they were together for a time and that you showed both of them the same love during that time period. To have as tangible a reminder of that as a formal photo would be really nice.
Same with the girl - sending a photo of her 1/2 brother and new mom and her all together may be nice for her to have when she's older.

Of course it's "his day" and I don't want to detract from it... just make sure you haven't skipped something as important as that. Take the pic another day or whatever, just don't skip it entirely.

(And congratuations! Hope the day is memorable!)

[mckenna]

yes, when ever i get a foster child, i take him/her the first weekend to walmart and have a photo taken, so that i can send one to the birth fam and i can have one for my foster scrap book (also, alot of these kids will not get a lot of prof pictures taken). that weekend, i got some of the together and some of just her. thanks i know it is important. i am thinking of asking the bgrandparents if they can meet me at walmart some time to get all 3 kids pics taken together.