[mckenna]

i could not figure out how to post this under legal issues, but i was wondering if anyone had a similar experience. i have been the foster mother for a wonderful little boy for the past 22 months. his birth mom voluntarily terminated her own rights back in dec. his birth father was served in jail with termination papers and has now asked for a lawyer to contest the tpr. my lawyer does not seem concerned at this point because of the length of time my son has been in care and his age (he was 3 months at the time of placement and will be 2 in the next week). the bfather has known of his existance since he was born, yet only saw him once (prior to coming into care). within a month of "tommy" being placed in foster care, the bfather was returned to jail (at this point i'll i know is for parol violations). He has attempted contact through the social worker one time, and sent a letter over a year ago saying once he was out of jail he wanted to raise "his son." i am trying not to get worried but it is very scarry. my son's bmom states that the bfather has been quite abusive to her and she is very afraid of him. i just cannot imagine this man taking tommy. has anyone had a similar experience and can you tell me how you handled it. also, back in dec. the bmom wrote bdad a letter telling him her plans and he never responded or called dfs about his wishes to parent.

[Suzy]

mckenna,

Our children's bfather did not contest tpr, but we were on pins and needles until his 30 day period to appeal termination had expired and I can relate to how you feel. He had not had contact with our children in over 2 years. The only thing on record that he had ever said was that "he would do anything required to keep his children", and then he dropped out of their lives completely. Our agency and our attorney assured us that even if he did contest the termination the final outcome would be the same, but that it could cause delays. If you feel that your attorney is competent and trustworthy and he/she is telling you that there is no need for concern then try to have confidence in that. Your case sounds similar to ours in that these men were willing to say that they wanted to be part of their children's lives but not willing to follow through on their statements. I know it is hard not to let our fears get ahold of us sometimes, but judges that deal with these situations aren't going to give much credibility to words that are not supported by actions.

Blessings,

[mckenna]

thanks, that makes me feel a little better. yes, i have complete confidence in my lawyer. he has successfully completed many of my friends adoptions. i just wish things could be done and over. it is good to have some reassurance from someone who has been through this.

[Lisa0512]

McKenna,

I hope that everything works well for you. As a person who plans on doing foster-to-adopt to a child without a TPR, I know how scary it is until the entire event is final. Everything will work out for the best for you.

[jjjetplane2]

1.5 years into placement, we had a bio dad from jail request visitation. They did DNA test and it did not match. Then they contacted a 2nd bio dad, served him with papers, and he never showed.

I would hope due to b-dad's history and the length of time he has been with you, he is not going anywhere. I hope not anyway.

[rindava]

then he really will not have a chance

Good Luck!

Time is also on your side. He has been with you more then 18 months, he is bonded to you, it would be very hard on the child to be taken from you.

You may want to get your own lawyer to represent you in court if things look bad