[Emster]

I leave early tomorrow morning to go to a conference that will keep me away until Saturday evening. It will be the first time I've left since Woobie was born. I see him early in the morning before we leave for daycare and have just a few precious hours each night before he demands so early to be put to bed. Tonight it happens that I have to work late--no way out of it unless I'm contagious or worse--and work with OTHER people's children, only to go home and maybe see the little guy for a half an hour before bed. It sucks. Leaving for a few days just reminds me of how little I see him during the week anyway--and as a result makes me feel like such a bad mom for working. My consolation...I leave him with the best daycare worker ever. Its a wonder he doesn't think SHE's his mommy.

Quitting my job is likely not going to happen unless someone benevolently sends me their lottery winnings. I'm just whining and already missing my little man. Feel free to come wallow with me...

[mommamarci]

I am right there with you. I feel so guilty. On the weekends, I let Cameron sleep on my chest for his naps!! My husband says I am going to spoil him. I tell him he needs to get a raise and I will quit my job and break the spoling. Until then on my two days with him, I get to do whatever I want!! We are hoping at some point in the future that I will be able to stay home at least part time. Not sure if it will happen though... No consolation, but I think I would become very contagious...

[SchmennaLeigh]

I just bought a book entitled Mommy Guilt. It was suggested by a friend. I've only read a few intro pages (as I'm currently reading another book) but it might be worth your while!!

[Emster]

Well, turns out it might be good to go away and give Daddy and Baby a little time together:

1: Woobie knew who I was when I returned--bounced and smiled when I came in the room (gives me warm fuzzies to think about it)

2: I now know for a fact that DH can find things around the house if he's actually forced to find them, as opposed to asking me.

3: Baby was healthy, clean and fed when I got home, so I now also know for a fact that DH is not helpless and totally dependent on me. Matter of fact, the house was kinda straightened up as well...

4: Saturday night when Woob woke up crying in the middle of the night, I went to make a bottle. When I got back to Woob's room, lo and behold, for the first time EVER, DH was in there and had already gotten baby out of the crib to comfort and change him. Now I know that DH does have the capacity to hear a crying distressed baby, even after drifting into heavy sleep. Amazing.

[StorkWatcher]

I wallow in my guilt. Fortunately, either doing the SAHD thing is wearing on my hubby, or he sees my emotional turmoil, as he's been grumbling now and then about finding a different job which would enable me to be home part/full time. We'll see what happens.

This guilt thing just stinks. I can't quit thinking about how I'm away from his TEN HOURS A DAY! That's 50 HOURS A WEEK - OVER TWO DAYS! I can't stand it.

Marci - guess where baby A took 2 naps this weekend? Oh yeah. That big boy toddler was all snuggled up, right on mama where he sleeps best. AND I LOVE IT!

I don't want to leave him to make time for myself yet. I don't do anything on the weekends without him (except left him yesterday to go to chuch and STILL felt a little guilty. Or course, we Catholics are famous for guilt).

In my heart, I know that Daddy and Mamaw are taking great care of him. And he's fine. Seems well adjusted and thriving. And we are SO lucky to have this awesome bonding time for father and son- he's lucky to be able to do this.

But I hate it. I also feel in my heart that I'M supposed to be the one there. My mom didn't work. My aunts didn't work. It just seems unnatural to me, because of the way I was brought up.

Em, if I win the lottery, I'll send some your way....

[Emster]

Wow, stork, you'll really share?! Thanks!!

BTW I take the Woobie to church every week, and guess what? Apparently I'm not even allowed THAT time with him, because my mother swoops in and hijacks him from me as soon as we get there. bothers the heck out of me. She'll turn on the guilt and say, "but I haven't seen him ALL WEEK..." to which I reply, but neither have I!!

[kelceesmom]

I know how you all feel. I do get a little time with her during the week. I work M,T off W work TH, F and have the weekend. It helps but I would still like a little more time. Because I am an old mom I don't think I could be a sahm but could very easily do 3 days a week of work. Now that she is older and moving I feel like I am missing even more. I think I must have gotten really lucky because I did get to see her first steps and hear her first word even while working. At least we can cry to each other and get sympathy here.

[HBV]

I'm going to join the wallow---we have a great nanny, family nearby, H is happy and healthy, and I can go home at lunch to see him. We are lucky, and I know it, but you know what I really, really hate?

I want to be the one to take him to story hour at the library, and to the zoo, and to Kindermusic, and to the park every day. Some weeks I feel like everyone else is having more fun with my child than I am!!!!

[rjsmom]

For me I work at home and there is the guilt of using a video so that I can get a project completed or telling him to wait just two more minutes when he is asking for something. We started a PDO program one day a week this fall and I think that it has been beneficial to both of us.

[StorkWatcher]

I feel like a traitor for saying this, but I may as well here and not do it at home!

My other guilt, is that for 10 years, I have been planning how I want to raise my kids. I read. I researched. I talked to EVERYONE I know that has kids. I practiced on my godchildren and nieces.

I know what types of things I want to do. I don't want my child exposed to a lot of TV. I want to feed him certain things. I want to really foster his learning, and expose him to all sorts of things starting at birth. I want to have a structured day, with lots of play interspersed with reading, writing, art and outdoor activities.

My MIL actually SCOFFED at the thought of kids knowing how to read and write before kindergarten. I absolutely bit my tongue for now, but she still thinks that kindergarten is for learning these things.
I want to be my child's fist teacher.

My hubby and MIL take great care of him and shower him with love, but they aren't doing things with way I would be doing them every day. So I feel like I have to fit all this into a couple hours a night and weekends, while he's being exposed to things that may affect him negatively later on.

THAT is the worst part of my guilt. I hate feeling bad about it.