[tracyangel]

My husband and I just adopted our first, a daughter we named Jasmine Jean, born May 19th this year. We brought her home from the hospital, and it seems we have not recovered from the flurry of check-writing and money-spending! We had a budget before the baby, and took out a loan to cover adoption fees. We had the nursery done, and had most stuff we would need for baby. We figured we would be all set when baby came home. Boy, were we wrong. In my yearning to become a Mom, I must have been wearing blinders when it came to the costs of formula, DAYCARE, etc. I also had to leave the job that I was at for 7 years because the high-stress, high-pressure career life was no longer for me. I have since started a lower stress job, which unfortunately comes with about half the pay (but the work/life balance is so much better). Add that to the fact that our expenses have almost doubled, and we are struggling. I thought I would start a thread to see if any of you are in the same boat, and if so, what did you do to try and recover from the adoption expenses: before, during, and after?

[LisaCA]

we're in the same boat but dd is 15.5 months old. we saved up the cash for dd's adoption, but she required expensive formula and now expensive milk (lactose free). That plus the lawyer we hired for finalization has taken us to the cleaners has meant we've postponed adopting number two. I quit my job to be a stay at home mom, so things are tighter than we expected when we planned to adopt several years ago. we had a few major disasters that were unexpected since dd arrived(car crash not my fault meant a car payment and a natural spring flooded our finished basement) and they drained our savings. Still, we're downsizing our life, planning a move to a less expensive locale. We didn't go over the top with dd's arrival, purchasing a ton of stuff used, getting used stuff from friends, etc). we did feed her organic baby food which is more expensive, but we felt it was worth it. we also curtailed our spending and to some extent our charitable giving for the next year, just to stablize things. we don't eat out much, and if we splurge, it's for a pizza. we don't see movies or anything expensive, don't really go out. We did buy season passes for a few things like museums and kid play areas.

it's been an adjustment for us, but a positive one. it will be interesting to see how others have dealt with the shock.

[Liepolds]

My DH owns his own business and we planned for my cut in income with becoming a SAHM. What we did not plan for was my husbands company slowing down because of the economy.

Nathan is almost a year now, and I was lucky to totally stay home with him for 10 months. I recently went back to work waitressing 3 nights a week. DH comes home early those 3 days. The extra 200-300 a week helps. You know, gas, groceries, etc.

We hated for me to go back at all, but, we got behind on bills and life was getting stressful. Things are getting back to normal again. We are getting stuff caught up and DH's business is picking up again. I will stay working because to be honest, the 3 nights a week is good for DH and Nathan. They have really bonded since I started working part-time. Also, it sort of gives me time away and that is good for all of us. Nathan was really becoming a mommas boy and would not go to anyone but me! I love that, but know it is not healthy.

Good thread! Glad to see we are not the only ones that struggled!!

Kim

[McNally720]

Totally old thread, i realize, but just had to add my two cents....

I love working PT (2 evenings & Sat.AM)! I really do think it's good for dad to have some bonding time to himself with baby.

We definitely did some adjusting going down from 2.5 incomes to 1.5 incomes....but I think it's made us appreciate things a lot more. And everything is so fleeting, it's worth it to both of us to make this arrangement work for as long as we can--we can't believe she'll be six months old soon!

Our $$ savers:

A serious grocery budget
Cancelling the gym ( ), Netflix, etc
Using the Library ALOT
Limiting our driving trips
Going on the utility company's "budget plan"
Dumping voicemail and using an answering machine

Thankfully, I guess, 95% of our friends are in similiar situations, even if they have 2 incomes (that means they have daycare expenses), so we entertain each other alot--we get together for chili, spaghetti and other cheap meals while the kiddos entertain each other!

And in trying to look at the bright side, we'll be paying a lot less in taxes in 2006!!

[ALI143]

Those are great tips Michelle.
We adopted from the state so we weren't thinking baby would take too much more money, but it does add up! We have excercise equipment here now, eat in a lot more, rent our books and movies from the library, resale shops for baby clothes (she's out growing them so fast anyway).

BTW, Jasmine Jean is an adorable name!

[Pinkie]

I know this is a really old thread but wanted to bump it back to page one and express how I also didn't realise how broke I would be once the adoption was complete!

I've popped over from the Russian Adoption Board as my DD is from Russia and been home forever since December 2005. She's an older child but let me assure you it makes no difference! The Russian adoption was expensive and I don't know how I managed to get half the costs together but I managed it. Then the financial reality hit home and hard! Ways I budget now:-

-Haven't been out with the girls since...hmm let me try and think back that long......

-Serious grocery budget, infact I have my groceries delivered to save me walking in a grocery store (you know how it goes girls, you just need a loaf of bread and before you know it you've purhcased $20 worth of stuff).

-Buy a lot of non branded items.

-Buy and/or given second hand clothes for us both.

-Bought alot of toys/DVD's/Videos/books etc which were second hand before DD came home.

-I always bring a packed lunch to work.

-I have the cheek to ask for discount now! (I live in Spain in a tourist area and some places give residences rates).

The good news is that eventually everything levels off and becomes your new normal and for one I'm happy with that.

[wants2adopt]

If my guardian angels are watching I ask for more funds to support our needs and mental break throughs on how to afford the things we want. DYFS is paying for some and that's why we are going the foster then adopt route for increaing our family size. But still there are costs with our first son that hand me downs can't cut since we have only older daughters. I've contacted neighbors/relatives/friends, arranged a birthday party for the gifts mostly and given suggestions on what he needs, begun checking into consignment shops for resale of 'things' and adore the library too. My husband seems to think I can just get a full time job somewhere, manage keeping the little ones in day care while I work, and pawn the older kids off on friends for after school playdates everyday. WRONG. He works three jobs now and I went back to running a babysitting and pet sitting business just to bring in a little spare $. What talents did God give you? Try to make a small job from home and see if that helps. One local mom is arranging ebay lessons for $10 an hour, another is creating a savings club for moms interested in investing but need someone with knowledge. I got one friend to start pony lessons with her daughter's pony to off set board rates. When you find out what works for you let us ALL know please!