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Old 01-06-2012, 11:33 PM
ms_czarina ms_czarina is offline
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Heart JW Adoption

I am a single sister, born and raised in the truth, baptized almost 13 years. I am spiritual strong and have served as a regular pioneer on and off thru the years when able. I have not been able to find a strong brother to marry but still want the chance to be a mother. I have done research regarding the topic and there are many sisters in my congregation who serve as foster parents. I guess what I want to know your reaction... Somehow wanting to adopt a child just seems like it is wrong somehow and that by following my heart, I'm not following Jehovah's family model. Is this just me over thinking things or am I really missing a guideline somewhere?
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Old 02-04-2012, 11:19 AM
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Sisterteacher Sisterteacher is offline
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Hope this helps

My husband and I are both baptized JW's and looking to foster to adopt. Before we made the decision we checked out adoption on the WT cd. It does not go against what we believe so we are moving forward with our decision and I hope you do also.
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Old 02-04-2012, 06:46 PM
Kinderspiel Kinderspiel is offline
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Having formerly been involved in the "truth", I would ask you to strongly consider how a child would feel about the situation. You may find others in your congregation aren't as open to an outsider as you are. There is so much for a child to have to adjust to I wonder if this lifestyle would be overwhelming. The loss of family is very difficult but the loss of holiday traditions would make it especially difficult. I know there is not much tolerance for any deviation from the rules of your faith. How would a child that is not a practicing member of your religion be allowed to keep their own traditions and beliefs if they are to be reunified? Just some things to think about.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:41 PM
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CaddoRose CaddoRose is offline
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I though you might like to chat with another one of our foster forum members who is also WJ. Her screen name is servnjah. They are foster parents. Good luck on your journey.
DH - 20 yrs
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Dr. Phil 18 yr old (returned Forever our Joy)

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Old 02-05-2012, 06:53 AM
servnjah servnjah is offline
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Let me try to start with your question then I'll add a little more info....

wanting to adopt a child just seems like it is wrong somehow and that by following my heart, I'm not following Jehovah's family model.

I think it is *very* wise for you to consider this undertaking very seriously. You will be changing your life as well as that of a child (or more than one, possibly). So, if I'm understanding, the issue is whether you should PARENT as a single mother? Well, it is not ideal; but there are good examples in the scriptures as well as in modern life. It is very possibly you could do a better job than a married couple. The great thing is that you have the benefit of the congregation as you raise a child. Strong men and women will become aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins in a way. They will give your child family in a way that most people can't understand. Every person in the congregation benefits from that and your child will also.

You also, though have to consider what EVERY parent-to-be, married or not, has to consider. Fact is that having a child WILL alter your spiritual activity. Can you imagine Paul being able to follow Jesus' footsteps as closely had he had four, or even two, children to raise? But it is not wrong to take a spouse. It is not wrong to have children. But it is wise to consider how you will address the necessary changes.

Just to let you know, I have *never* experienced or seen or heard of kids (or anyone else) not accepted at the hall. We have several families who have adopted in our hall. And people come to the hall visiting (short or long term) all the time. I can't imagine anyone feeling the slightest bit unwelcomed at our hall! Of course, they wonder how someone could do whatever to have their kids in foster care. And they are sad when a longer term placement leaves. And one HUGE positive we have is that though Sunday morning is the "most segregated hour" in the country, it is NOT at the Kingdom Hall. So kids can easily feel comfortable in that!

Now, you *do* have to consider, if you foster, how you will balance the issues of the child's family vs following the Bible. Most of the time, this is very easy to do. Much of the world considers these things "family things" anyway so it isn't that big of a deal for the child to do Easter baskets with their family and not do it with you. But it *is* a consideration. Can you look away, while the child is still a foster child, if he decides to do mainstream stuff at school or day care or with family? And you still do have a child pointing out all the commercial stuff in the stores. As JWs, we realize the majority of people make their own choices and their choices will not be to become JWs. It *is* a little different when it is in your home, is doable.

Okay, sorry to ramble. There are some considerations when choosing to foster and/or adopt, even more for us as we aren't mainstream in some ways. But it is a personal decision whether to marry, have children, etc. A decision you have the right and responsibility to make.
Mama Pam

Big Sister (21) , Big Brother (18)
Tumbler (8) , Swimmer (6) , and T-lo (5)

Sweet Little Monkey - We will always love you and miss you.

Currently taking a break from fostering

Last edited by servnjah : 02-05-2012 at 06:57 AM.
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