[sheree72]

My husband and I cant but help be excited about the fact we might get placed with a baby girl (3 months old). This would be a foster adoption placement. We will find out on Thursday. I cant help but be nervous though , the bio mom has lost 2 previos to familly members and a third (3rd youngest ) is in the system. They (social workers ) consider her a fast track baby. I just wonder what the chances could be that she would be taken away. All i can think is this is the emotional price you have to pay to adopt a child through the state, especially a infant. I think we have a good choice in bringing her home on Saturday. Any advice if we get her that will help with the worries of her leaving. I would think they woudn't be placing her into a foster adoption home through the adoption committee if they were leaning more to the idea she will be able to stay. Mom and Dad are in drugs and in and out of prison also.

[BrandyHagz]

Any child placed in your home without a Termination of Parental rights is considered legal risk. No mater what the caseworkers say…there is always a risk until the papers are signed.

I’ve seen countless posts on this forum where children have been moved to a relative placement or back with the bioparents after the foster/adopt parents were assured it was on the road to adoption.

I know that’s not what you want to hear…but you really need to be prepared for anything at this point.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Sheree,

Brandy is right. In foster care (even if adoption seems obvious) it is ALWAYS risky. The 2 children we are in the process of adopting were legal risk placements so it does happen.

My advice would be to love this baby with your entire being. Bond with her and help her bond with you. Even if she moves on you will have given her the ability to bond and that is a wonderful gift. A lot of people say they try to protect their hearts and "hold back." I am not able to do that ever LOL. I just love them and pray that God does what is best for the child, no matter what that is.

Best of luck.

Michelle

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

I forgot to add,

Ask the worker why the relatives aren't taking this baby. A relative will ALWAYS be given the first chance to adopt. Even at some point down the road they can change their mind and would, more than likely, get the baby.

Michelle

[sheree72]

The mothers side is pretty much ruled out. I guess the fathers side is the big question as far as relatives. :0) I guess it would be the risk we have to take.

[Sleeplvr]

Were the parents married? I know that here in Georgia the paternal side is not recognized as a resource if the child has not been legitimized. Even the father can't take custody until he goes to court to legitimize the child. I'm going through this with our two year foster son and 7 week old foster daughter. The parents are not married in either case. The father is entitled to visits but not custody until this is done. I know that in the two years old case the father had lined up a couple of relatives to take him because he was in jail at the tiime. DFCS would not even contact them because the father had no legal relationship to the child. The two year old was finally legitimized last month and will moving in with the father in January. We were told that the two year old was about sure as you can get in a foster to adopt situation. When he moved in with us the TPR hearing had been set. By the way, the two year old has been in foster care since he was three months old. Maternal relatives were not an option since they were the ones that placed him in care.
Both of my foster children were/are drug babies and that probably played a factor in relatives not stepping up.

Just keep an eye out for stall tactics. The father had lined up relatives to take the child then turned around and asked for a DNA test. Then he claimed he never received a caseplan. He had been given a caseplan shortly after the child went into care but had not signed it. DFCS had even gotten him out of jail for court dates. If you are dealing with a couple of jailbirds they know the system and how to work it.
If you can, please read the child's casefile. It has all the relatives listed that they have considered as a placement. It should have the reason they were rejected or declined the placement.

[sheree72]

Mom and Dad are in and out of prison. Social workers arent able to get in contact with mom or dad so far unless mom calls. She has seen her once since birth and will soon be 3 months. Dads paternity hasnt been established yet. She is a drug baby too. Im excited to know something Thursday but at the same, i know we will bond with her. I just hope it works out for us and she doesnt have to leave. Mom has lost 3 other childred, the 2 older to to relative placement on moms side and the third is in foster care. They are older parents she is 35 dad is upper 30's. So dont know if thats a plus or negative. Wish me luck and keep up with the good advise im recieving. Thanks everyone

[mistysaphire]

Hi, We have adopted three children. With two of them they were placed in our home with us as foster parents... We wanted to adopt them so we contacted an attorney and did not go through the state.... They still came out for the monthly visits until the adoption was final. You have to pay but it is quicker most of the time.... They will do everything that is needed...... You don't have to wait on the state...as I have heard sometimes the state will drag it on for a long time......They started dragging things out with our first one and then when we had an attorney doing it for us, things changed a lot and within 9 months the adoption was final..... good luck to all of you!!!!

[sheree72]

I think we are a rare family indead. lol.. she is only 3 months and parental rights are in process of termnation in court starting 2 weeks ago. They say bout 3 months.

[mistysaphire]

That is fast. I hope things keep going so well for you..
Good Luck!