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  #1  
Old 11-04-2002, 10:43 AM
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momtosljns momtosljns is offline
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failed adoption

HI this is the first time that I have posted I would like to talk to someone , we have just recently ahd a failed adoption. It has been hard on all of us. We were so happy to be having a new member of the family. I was present at the birth ,Dh was outside the room and we got to hold the baby not long after. I do understand how hard it is to have someone else being your childs mom. We have been foster parents. It is such a hard thing. We are just hoping to find the right situtaion. I hope to hear from someone as Dh and I are really needing to talk . My Dh is so hurt he fell head over heels in love with this baby and it hurts me to see him this way it is usually me who just falls so much in love. I need to go ,

momtosljns
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  #2  
Old 11-04-2002, 12:21 PM
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janeliz janeliz is offline
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My heart really goes out to you two. We had a failed adoption almost 2 years ago now, we had been to doctor's visits with her and seen the sonograms. However, we never did see the baby. I cannot imagine what that must have done to your heartstrings.

I admire how you put your hearts on the line, and how you are actively grieving this very real loss. That shows a very healthy reaction and will make you ready all the sooner for the right baby to come along and work out. Now we have our second child and she is definitely the right one, and I can now say I am glad we did not get the baby from the failed adoption.

I hope you too can say this one day.

Love, Jane
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  #3  
Old 11-04-2002, 03:45 PM
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momtosljns momtosljns is offline
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Cool to jane and julie

HI jane and Juile thnaks for answering. I am so happy to be able to share. It has been hard to watch our kids and my Dear husband. I know we had no rights to this child since the adoption did not go throug. We just fell in love and feel the loss. The baby was a boy and our son was so happy that he was going to have a brother soon. I can not be angrey at his birthmom though. I can't imagin how hard this all was for her. We have been foster parents and have cared for tow girls and have had both returned to their bio-families. It was one of the hardest things we ever did but it was the right thing to do. We were going to have an open adoption with this birthmom . I still call her to see how everything is going. I came to know her and I really do care how she and the baby are i hope that doesn't seem weird. Well i have to go for dinner. Thanks again

Susie
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  #4  
Old 11-04-2002, 07:31 PM
blittle blittle is offline
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We too had a failed adoption about 3 years ago this coming December. We had traveled 17 hours from our home, stayed in a hotel with the baby for a week and his bmom decided to parent.

It was the hardest thing to accept and not be bitter about. It turns out that 3 months later we received a call and a baby girl had just been born and we were chosen as her parents. Her bmom relinquished a week later. That was 3 years ago.

We are searching once again for another child, but will have to be more cautious this time to protect our daughter and her feelings.

Brandi
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