[Unsure2009]

I live in Texas. Through a friend of a friend I was introduced to a family who was considering adoption. The pregnant girl had just turned 15 years old when I met her. I met her mom as well. They had gone to the abortion clinic to get an abortion, however were turned away because the girl was already 7+ months along. This family reached out to someone I know, who in turn reached out to me. I met with the family at their house to get an idea of what they were wanting. 1.) They said that they could not keep the baby because it was "taboo". 2.) I explained what open and closed adoption was - they chose closed 3.) The bio mom said she had no idea who the father was. 4.) They wanted this to be a private adoption. They looked into a "home" where the teen girl could live until the baby was born then at that time the baby would be placed for adoption. They chose not to use this service because they needed more privacy. So I hired my attorney...got the case opened and once the baby was born he came home with me. All legal documents were signed up to this point. Two months later, the birth family hired an attorney and took me to trial requesting they get the baby back. He is now 9 months old and this case is still going. The birthmom finally told the judge who the birthfather was. He is 3years older than the birthmom. He is now fighting me too. A new Social worker has been appointed to the case. Once she compeltes her report, we will all go to court again for our final trial, at which time they will say who the baby lives with. The baby has not seen the b-family since he was 2 days old. There are so many other things in this case that I cant put here now, but has anyone been in a situation like this? I have been asked to bring the baby to a meeting to include all parties this week. Does this mean that the social worker has already decided on the birthfamily and this visitation is only a means to "re-unite" them in some way? I'm so afraid...not only for losing my child, but for my child's safety as well. I have an attorney...I'm looking for someone who can give me any input or advice..anything you can share with me if you or someone you know has experienced this as well. Thank you.
~unsure

[karaboo]

I have no experience with what you are going through. I just wanted to wish you the best in this situation.

[Linny]

I've not experienced something like this, but I wanted to comment on the meeting you've been asked to attend and bring the baby to.

It MAY be....and understand, I'm no attorney, etc....but it may be that the sw is asking you to come and bring the baby so the biological family can see how well the baby is being cared for, has bonded to you, how the decision to parent may really be (good or bad). I understand your being anxious...I certainly would be too. But, the bringing together of all parties may bring about a change of heart for anyone IF...and I repeat, IF they expressed doubt in the option to parent in the first place...OR, expressed that they 'might' continue to consider adoption IF they were able to know the baby was happy, etc. You never know......but regardless of what it's for, it certainly WILL more clearly define what everyone wants, I'd think anyway.

My best to you. I hope this turns out as a happy ending for you....and PLEASE keep everyone here updated as events unfold.

Sincerely,

Linny

[Unsure2009]

I got an update today. Now the term "all parties" for the meeting this week actually means all parties except for me. I have to drop off my son for a 3hour "observation". I will not be present during this meeting. Wow. This really concerns me even moreso now. I know that above all, God is in control. Thanks for you reply. I will keep this post updated.

[sugarmuffin]

oh my goodness.....it just doesn't sound good. If i were you i would pray really hard for the strength to prepare for the worst. It may work out but be ready for any and everything.

Hugs woman it must be really tuff.

[MamaS]

Unsure2009 - Any update from your lawyer?

[sbaglio]

I certainly would NOT leave my child with them, or let her out of my sight. Under no circumstances, especially not these. Has the court ordered you to do this?

[legal]

The child was 2 months old when she revolked? Was that within the legal revolk period?

[legal]

Texas Adoption Laws, Page 3

I read the Texas laws here. You seem okay on her consent, but the father's consent is not so clear.

[3SistersMom]

I would really like to know how this has progressed. I hate hearing stories like this, it pains my heart to see people try to rip children from the only mothers they know. I can't imagine the horror she must feel at even the prospect of losing her son. These people were trying to ABORT him!!! WTH?? I just pray she will be keeping her son.

[Unsure2009]

UPDATE: I cant go into a lot of detail, but I can say that so far its going okay. I ended up having to take the baby to the visitation/observation afterall. This was the first time my child saw the bio family (at 8m old). I was not allowed to be present, but the social worker stayed in the room with them the entire time. I was in a room in the building. I could hear how uncomfortable the visit was for the baby and it broke my heart. The social worker has completed the social study. HE suggests that my baby stay with me..This is great news. I know the bio-family will not agree so we will be going to trial very soon again. I have a feeling this isnt over, but at least this round is in our favor. I will fight to no end for my child. There are so many dark shadows to this case that I cant mention here right now, but my baby is almost a year old now. This child knows I am mom and safety, happiness, and love is defenite in my family. I will keep this posted and updated.

[hopefuldad969]

Keep us updated, I truly hope that for all involved this child stays with you. As to him being the father I woudl request the courts to have DNA done to ensure he is the father before he can contest your guardian ship as the girl said she didnt know who the father was. Also the family showed they did not want the child before things were tough because it was "taboo" I hope the courts look at that and ask them when the child gets older and things get rough are they goign to abandon her because she was taboo and things not working out how they want.....

good luck again Hope you win this quickly and that they are no loner able to cause you distress in your or your childs life

[Rev320ratjat]

Originally Posted by Unsure2009

UPDATE: I cant go into a lot of detail, but I can say that so far its going okay. I ended up having to take the baby to the visitation/observation afterall. This was the first time my child saw the bio family (at 8m old). I was not allowed to be present, but the social worker stayed in the room with them the entire time. I was in a room in the building. I could hear how uncomfortable the visit was for the baby and it broke my heart. The social worker has completed the social study. HE suggests that my baby stay with me..This is great news. I know the bio-family will not agree so we will be going to trial very soon again. I have a feeling this isnt over, but at least this round is in our favor. I will fight to no end for my child. There are so many dark shadows to this case that I cant mention here right now, but my baby is almost a year old now. This child knows I am mom and safety, happiness, and love is defenite in my family. I will keep this posted and updated.

I know that you have been through a lot this past year, but just as you say that you would "fight to the end" for "your" child, please see that his birth parents are trying to do that same thing. If, by the grace of God, you are allowed to keep this child, I hope that you can see their point of view and maybe offer them an open adoption again. A child that has that many people in his/her court is a lucky child. You have given your child love, security, etc up til now, and I hope that you might find it in your heart to give him/her the knowledge that his/her birth parents loved him/her and wanted the very best that he/she could receive. Good luck and God bless.

[mom2cody98]

Unsure 2009...Hang in there! My son just turned 11, and fought a 3 year battle to keep my son and finalize his adoption when he was an infant. It was the hardest battle I ever fought.
There were days when I thought I would not make it, but I just hung in and kept fighting. I would tell people it was like being strapped on a roller coaster in pitch black darkness. Never knowing where the next curve or drop was!
I was thinking in Texas that a father had to register with the birth father registry within 30 days of a child's birth to have standing, did this guy do that? Have DNA test been done?
Please feel free to PM me, I would be happy to lend any support that I can.
Again hang in there, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

[Mom2J]

Now, I also have done some digging. According to Texas law, the Putative father registry is also in affect and here is what it says...
Statute: Fam. Code §§160.402(a); 160.312


The putative father may file before the child's birth, but no later than the 31st day after the child's birth.

Registration requires a completed Bureau of Vital Statistics form, signed and acknowledged by the putative father.

Now, the really interesting thing that sticks out in my head is the fact that biomom "just turned 15 and was 7-months pregnant". The age of legal consent in Texas is 17, so anyone 16 or younger, it is illegal to have sex, as they are a minor. Looking at the facts with the biomom actually being 14 and pregnant, the biodad "being 3-years older" was 17 or 18. Either way this is staturory rape. The biodad could be in some VERY serious, legal trouble over a DNA test proving he's the father.