[Abeshires]

Hello, my husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby boy born 8/7/09. He has been at home with us for 44 days now. We knew the birth mother parents, not really friends just knew them from hubbys job, and therefore this is a private closed adoption. Now that the baby is here the mother now wants contact, which my husband and I have no problem with. She has already been to see him once in the last 6 weeks. Last week our lawyer called to tell us the birth mother had been to the court to say there was a problem with the adoption. She didn't file anything just told the clerk she wanted him back. She then called our lawyer and told him she wanted the baby back ASAP. (She was leaving the state to go on vacation for 3 weeks). The lawyer told her that it didn’t happen like that and she would have to stay in TN to deal with us until this was handled. She told him no she was going and would be back in 3 weeks to get her baby. She originally told the lawyer she was coming to our house to get the baby "one way or another" before she left town and was told that was kidnapping and she would be arrested. Here’s my question in Tennessee she had 10 days to change her mind, which is up, then she had 30 days to show it was in the best interest of the child to be with her, which is also up, but the adoption isn’t finalized yet. Can she come and take our son? The lawyer says not to worry she will lose in court bc of the time is up, but I'm still worried. She has no job, no home and no support system; even her parents want us to have the baby, so we don't think she can afford a lawyer to fight us. Is there anything else she can go to get him back?

[Linny]

I've gone to this link:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwi....processSearch

...and from what *I've read*, it would seem there's no way for her to 'get her baby back' at this time. I'm no attorney; but it would seem if she had any issues, they should have been taken care of within the time specified.

I'd have to wonder why she felt it necessary at this point; and, to take him on this 'vacation'. That part would bother me more I think....knowing no more than what I've read here.

I wish you well and peace of mind.

Sincerely,

Linny

[startedover]

My adoption also took place in TN. My lawyer writes some of the tn laws. pm me if you want her name as I don't know if I am aloud to give it on the site. We actually didn't tell anyone we had our baby until that 10 days was up simply because we didn't want others to bond with her and our lawyer basically said "after that ten days it would take an act of congress for that baby not to end up with us" she only told me this because I was so worried that what is happening to you, could happen to us. She basically said that after that ten days she would have to show that someone held her at gun point and witnesses and all and made her sign the papers. Since I am assuming there was a judge present when she relinquised , I believe you are worring about nothing. Pm me if you want more info.

[kara05kara]

Just throwing this idea out there- have you tried to get her some counseling? From your post she sounds mostly angry, but probably underneath that she is really, really hurting and grieving.

Natalie

[jp4ga]

It does not matter if she can afford an attorney or not. In some states YOU COULD BE REQUIERD to pay for her attorney. She can make your life hell, and insisit that a judge hear the case. This happened to us. The bmom changed her mind after her time had passed and she sued us for custody.

She requested visitation since the case was scheduled for 3 months later. So we had to go to court to protest this request. Visitation was denied, since we lived 17 hours away. We had to pay her attorney fees and ours which added about $10,000 to our final adoption cost. The case took just 10 minutes for the judge to hear. If your agency and you followed all of the rules of the state she will not have a leg to stand on.

I wish you all the best.

[hopefuldad969]

Originally Posted by Abeshires

Hello, my husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby boy born 8/7/09. He has been at home with us for 44 days now. We knew the birth mother parents, not really friends just knew them from hubbys job, and therefore this is a private closed adoption. Now that the baby is here the mother now wants contact, which my husband and I have no problem with. She has already been to see him once in the last 6 weeks. Last week our lawyer called to tell us the birth mother had been to the court to say there was a problem with the adoption. She didn't file anything just told the clerk she wanted him back. She then called our lawyer and told him she wanted the baby back ASAP. (She was leaving the state to go on vacation for 3 weeks). The lawyer told her that it didn’t happen like that and she would have to stay in TN to deal with us until this was handled. She told him no she was going and would be back in 3 weeks to get her baby. She originally told the lawyer she was coming to our house to get the baby "one way or another" before she left town and was told that was kidnapping and she would be arrested. Here’s my question in Tennessee she had 10 days to change her mind, which is up, then she had 30 days to show it was in the best interest of the child to be with her, which is also up, but the adoption isn’t finalized yet. Can she come and take our son? The lawyer says not to worry she will lose in court bc of the time is up, but I'm still worried. She has no job, no home and no support system; even her parents want us to have the baby, so we don't think she can afford a lawyer to fight us. Is there anything else she can go to get him back?

If she has no job and no stability the courts woudlnt give her custody unless there was abuse on your part. She is fishing and iI woudlnt worry to much. and have to agree, take on vacation out of the blue, sounds liek shes fairly unstable and wasnt going to return...