[6kidsforme]

Hi,
We have 6 bio children and a wonderful 2 yr old adopted from Guatemala. I was working on a profile for us for domestic adopti0on when we got a call asking us to take a 4 day old baby in..

We now have the baby girl in our care, that my husband and I are hoping to
adopt. She came to us at 4 days old and is now a month old.At first it was strictly a private foster situation while birthmom waits for birthdad to sign consent.
The birth mother and her family want us to adopt this baby. We have
an open relationship, they come and see her every week. The
birthmother was ready to relinquish right after birth.
However, the birth father, who wanted to relinquish decided not to
sign after the birthmom left him right before birth. He said she has
to come back to him or he will not sign (he is 6 years older and very
much a bully, including physically abusing her )
He is not on the birth certificate nor has he asked to see the baby
or offered support so far. They have a court date mid January for custody. She is
hoping he does not show up of course, but he probably will. He has no
job or money and lives with his mother, and he has said he won't talk
to anyone or get a lawyer, he "just wants his kid". <sigh>

So, obviously this is a huge risk for us, we might lose this baby if
the judge gives her to the bfather (after a DNA test of course, which
I have no idea how this bfather will pay for). This can all take
months to work out, as you all know.

Anyway, I wanted to know if anyone has had a situation like this and have it work out. Seems most cases like this on this board ended with heartbreak for PAP. It
is quite sticky...Meantime of course we are enjoying baby and have
all fallen in love with her....

The only other option here is to give the birthdad the baby, birthmom and her famiily are very clear they do not and cnanot keep this bay. They also do not want bdad to get her (drugs and abuse involved). We are taking ths chance but it is so scary.

We have a lawyer (we are in NJ) and he says the magic number here is 4 months of her being in our care.

[joskids]

We had a positive outcome in an adoption contested by bio father. And so have others on this board.

Best wishes for the best scenario for this child. It doesn't sound like this biological father really wants to parent and this could work in your favor but, as you know, anything could happen. Hang in there.

[viannqueen]

We also had a positive outcome in an adoption contested by bio father.

In Michigan our DD's birthfather had to prove that it was in the child's best interest to be in his custody. He failed to prove that to the court (his criminal record, drug history, job status and age attributed to that) and DD's bmom was able to place her with our family. Had he established paternity before birth, been over 18 with an honest-to-goodness way of taking care of her and we'd probably have lost her.

I'd highly suggest researching the laws in the state your dealing with and consulting with an experienced adoption lawyer. I have a friend who also went through a contested adoption with the bfather and in their state they couldn't argue in the child's best interest. If the birthfather established paternity according to law then he was allowed to pursue a custody aggreement with bmom, or be granted full custody. In their situation he ended up having a change of heart and signed his consent. If he had chose not to do so they would have most certanly lost him. So you'll really have to research the laws to see what your dealing with. Pm me if you have any questions.

[6kidsforme]

I should have been a bit more clear about the situation. What we will be doing is bmom and bdad are going to court on Jan 12, birthmom is suing for sole custody.
(I can't imagine she does not get it, besides the bdad not being on the birthcert., he also lives in extreme poverty with his mother. He was very excited that bmom was having a baby,he said she could get section 8 and be on welfare, he would stay home and watch te baby and she would work (which is what she did when she was with him, she worked full time, pregant and paid his car and cell bill (he has no car or phone now that she is gone) )

Anyway, once mom has sole custody and dad has to pay, he wont want her, it is just a matter of time. So, we wait as long as we have to with Hailey in our care.

But still, it is a risk and I can't help but be nervous.