[adopting_again]

I was curious if anyone sets up a scrapbook or way to remember their losses, both infertility such as miscarriage and failed IVF, and adoption disruptions. I have both situations in my life and would like to come up with a creative and private way that my dh can have the memories.

[DianeS]

I didn't do a scrapbook - I had no pictures from my miscarriages.

I had a few items though, and I purchased a pretty, and tiny, trunk to hold them. Some are nice looking, and I have considered framing them. But I'm not quite at that point, yet. The items fairly scream "unfinished", and I believe anyone who saw them would ask, and I don't often speak publically about those losses. So they remain in the trunk.

But one thing I do have is a necklace, with a small angel pendant. The angel's body contains the birthstone for the month one of my children died. Some people mention it, but I have an easy answer for their questions - I chose it because it was beautiful. After weeks and months of looking for just the right birthstone necklace, I DID choose this one because it's beautiful. It preserves my privacy, because noone ever asks why I wanted a beautiful necklace, they assume they know.

Anyhow, that's what I did. I hope you find the right expression for your emotions, too.

[Archive]

I knew that I would adopt from a very young age so I did not struggle through attempted pregnancies or miscarriages. I did fight a very long battle with cancer and the destruction of my ovaries and dealt with the loss of what I felt at the time was a big part of my femininity. I dealt with this alone in my teens and early 20's. Now I embrace the cancer and my will to survive. I would like to create a piece of art as a reminder of my battle.

I am an adopted mom and a cradle care mom. We did not lose any of our adopted children, but I lose a piece of me each time one of my foster-babies leaves our home. I scrapbook their photos right along with the rest of our family photos. It makes me happy to see their little faces mixed in with all of my other babies.

Jan

[Celesyee]

We have Baby J's hospital band, records, and pictures. I was wondering what to do with them since the match failed after birth and we now have a son-who was placed with us almost 2 weeks ago. I think the scrap book idea is great...Baby J will always be in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.

[cbrink7]

When our baby boys passed away due to a premature birth in January my husband and I made a memory box for them. We got a chest and painted it baby blue and decorated it. We then put all of their things in it (things from the hospital, ultrasound pictures, cards we recieved after they passed, birth and death certificates, pictures of them, some special toys and mementos that were given to them durning my pregnancy, etc). It turned out beautifully and it is deffinitly my most treasured thing I have ever had!

We did keep certain things for their brother or sister that we hope to adopt. Clothes, some blankets-things that we were sure that we wanted to share with our future baby in the boys memory. I know a lot of family's that have done these things for their children and it really is good thearpy!

[mommy2fiveplus]

My friend lost twin boys as 24 weeks, they lived for 10 and 18 hours and were the result of 5 years of fertility treatment. When she unintentionally became pregnant 4mos later, she sufferred terrible guilt and mixed feelings as well as fear. Whe she found out she was once again carrying twin boys I was not sure she would emotionally last the pregnancy. After a long and stressful 34 week pregnancy she gave birth to healthy but small twin boys. They are now healthy and happy but she wants her new sons and the rest of her family/friends to always remember and cherish the short time they had with her angel sons so she has put small reminders of them in her life. Each of the new boys has a onsie that says "My angel brther M***N is watching over me", there is one for each of her angel sons. she also gave each of the new boys one of the older boys middle name as thier middle names. I think that she does these things so she will not forget in the day to day hectic stuff that she is so grateful to have known ALL of her sons for whatever time she has them.