[lonni]

I am sorry sadmom. Maybe she was told it might be a legal problem or something by well meaning friends.(who do not know the law,but...) You will be a happy momma again.I am in Mich. too,but adopted in another state years ago,while living there.I don't know our laws here (except as an adoptee,I can never get my OBC..gggrrrr) anyways-I have many friends who have driven to MI to adopt infants-as if many infants are available here it seems. You gave your son an excellent base from which to blossom and I think given time,you will be in his life:~))

[SadMomma]

I am working on trying to get concrete and fair laws for adoptive parents. We are going through an emotional mess and all we get is the law doesn't have concrete deadlines or the birthparents have the upper hand. PI me and i can tell you more, especially if you live in MI.

[lonni]

Our child's parents had 6 months to revolk and we were to return him.Our papers said that.Also,during the first month he was considered a legal risk because she(they) had not signed.
We were okay with that.
I am adopted too and I went into fostercare during my first 3 months and my parents had one year to revolk.That was Michigan.(mine)

[SadMomma]

How did the have 1 year to revolk in MI? They couldn't consider abandonment at a certain period of time? OUr agency told us 3 months, then later extended to 4-5 months before the parent could come back. Nothing was concrete.

[lonni]

I called my admom and she said my parent's had until the final adoption decree to revolk.About one year.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Christie S.

The first thing I would change is I would never leave the hospital with my child without a signed, valid, adoption consent from BOTH birthparents./

That cannot happen in MI because relinquishments can only be done by a judge, in court.

I think what is more important is that adopting parents be fully informed of what their rights are, and are not. Legal risk placement happens all the time in MI. Adopting parents can either choose to take that risk, or not. You cannot legislate that a new parent relinquish rights by a certain time after birth. Nor can you demand that. While that might bring peace to some adopting parents, it is not good for the new parents or the baby. Their are other options if you do not wish to take that legal risk.

[lonni]

I don't think a voluntary placement is ever abandonment legally,as far as I know.Only dependancy cases where the infant is removed for neglect or abuse.
I really don't know for sure,but I have never seen abandonment charges except after a child was declared dependent of the state.Anyone know?

[mmshell503]

How could they come back after 4 months and 5 days?

there is like a 6 mo process where they let the b-mom decide to change her mind or not.

[ChristieS]

Originally Posted by bromanchik

That cannot happen in MI because relinquishments can only be done by a judge, in court.

Hi Brenda,

Thanks for the input. What I am talking about is a consent decree, not a TPR - which differ in some states. Also, a consent decree may be signed but not finalized until it goes before the judge, at least here.

Originally Posted by bromanchik

You cannot legislate that a new parent relinquish rights by a certain time after birth. Nor can you demand that. While that might bring peace to some adopting parents, it is not good for the new parents or the baby. Their are other options if you do not wish to take that legal risk.

Actually there are laws in many states that state a bparent can be determined to have abandoned a child under certain circumstances, such as no contact or support for 6 months. This is true whether or not they have signed any papers. Again, it may not be true in all states, but some have legislated that TPR can be completed via abandonment by certain actions.

Legislation which allows adoption litigation to continue for years is not good for the aparents or the achild. Certainly aparents deserve to have some "peace".

Thanks for helping us clarify all this.

[lonni]

I know out of state placements from MI (originating in MI)have to be signed in front of a judge.Maybe they all do?

[kelceesmom]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is such a frustrating time. Our prayers are with you.

[SadMomma]

It seems like there is not clear cut answer to adopting in MI. I heard 3 months, 5-6 months, 1 yeard, 2 years, etc before they court will say enough is enough and TPR. In our case I beleive under the new baby delivery law, if the Bmom didn't return after 28 days a hearing should have been set to TPR. The bmom didn't work with the agency, do any medical history info, sign additional forms, counsel, or even return calls for 4 months..then it is like hey well give him back because they told her they were going to charge her w/ abandonment which they should not have done. They scared the crap out of her.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Christie S.

What I am talking about is a consent decree, not a TPR - which differ in some states. Also, a consent decree may be signed but not finalized until it goes before the judge, at least here.

It's the same thing in MI and it is done before a judge in court only.

[StacyKelly2]

We are from Maryland and still have no idea where our contested adoption is headed. I know the heartache and pain. I get different advice but almost all legal advice is saying we have a chance of adoption the longer we have the baby the better. I am uncertain if this is true or not. We have had our angel since birth and the baby is now 17 and a half months old. The birth father has wavered back and forth with his decision. He did sign a form contesting the adoption when the baby was a couple months, then told us to re-draw up the paper work he was signing over his rights for us to keep the baby...that never happened. Then he agreed to open adoption and that is where we thought we were headed...and we were so happy, but once again he changed his mind. We have not heard from him in months...He has only seen the baby one time in 17 and a half months...- Maryland statue states When Parental Consent is not Needed
Citation: Fam. Law § 5-312

• The child has been out of the parent's custody for 1 year, and is in the custody of a child-placing agency.
• The child has been out of the parent's custody for 1 year, and has formed a significant attachment to the petitioner.
• The child has been abandoned.
• The parent has failed to maintain meaningful contact with the child or to support the child.
• The parent has been convicted of child abuse or a crime of violence against a child.

We are hoping since he failed to maintain meaningful contact with the child. Also, the child has been out of his custody for over a year. But, since he did contest the adoption in the very beginning we are worried this may be trouble. We were told he needs to push this in court...but so far nothing is being done. Its so scary because we just hope the judge will see how attached our angel is to us!! My heart goes out to you losing your little angel its just so sad...This should not be allowed to happen. There are so many cases where the adoptions are just put on "hold"- and its just so unfair to these little angels..

[ChristieS]

Hi Stacy,

Basically this is where we are as well, as far as the laws go. We also have clear and repeated TPR status via the laws but no resolution and have been told the judge decides which laws apply where, and inteprets them to his/her choosing.

We have filed a motion which is being ignored. Yet AGAIN we have TPR - but no resolution.

This is the scariest thing I have ever been through. It is horrifying. I still pray for all of us going through this. WE deserve and our CHILD deserves peace and permanent resolution.

C.