[ChristieS]

I posted this on the "General" board but received no replies.

I went looking online to see if there was any type of national adoptive parents coalition - or anything similar? I found many that included foster parent/adoption - but none exclusively for adoptive parents. I found a few which were state-specific, but I am searching for national, and exclusive to adoptive parents.

Does anyone know of one, or any, that exist?

It seems to me that with the variation in state adoption codes maybe the time has come for national adoption codes which can either create adoption laws on a federal level - or mandate state-to-state adoption intercooperation and minimum requirements.

Joskids- this is one reason I have been looking for a national adoptive parents coalition who may be able to provide support and/or legal advice in situations such as ours.

Adoptive parents need an advocate. We need a group (lobbying as well perhaps) to help aid and protect adoptive parents. Most resources available seem to be geared toward foster and foster/adopt.

Adoptive parents need and deserve to be protected from legal loopholes and outright abuses of the system. If we have no group to solely protect our rights then we have only individual recourse - and as those of us on this forum know - that is very little.

So if any of you know of such an organization (and I do NOT mean the Dave Thomas Foundation) then pease let me know. If not, I will research further how to create one and keep you all updated.

Christie S.

[joskids]

Christie, I've done a bit of research but will do more and keep you posted. In some ways, a National Coalition may hurt rather than help if they tend toward the "you've stolen these kids from the precious birthparents". We are not into nabbing children from families that want to parent. They, also, need the resources to help them do so. But when a birthparent knows what he or she needs to do but fails to do it, then something needs to protect the children and the rights of adoptive parents or no one will adopt. And believe me, I'm not one to think that "adoption" is the cure all for our societal problems. I'm trying to see all sides and, frankly, I'm tired of being burned.

Josie

[ChristieS]

Thanks joskids for letting me know about your research. The key here would be a Federal Adoptive Parents Association to protect and lobby for the rights of adoptive parents and their children. There are plenty of associations for birth parent rights, foster parent rights, foster/adopt rights - but none that I can find which specifically stand up for - and fight for - adoptive parents and their adoptive children. The Mission Statement/Goals/Purposes would reflect the accuracy of the coalition and be quite specific - something like: To advocate for and protect adoptive parents rights and those of their adopted children.

I agree with you that in no way do I want anyone pushing adoption on birthparents. If birthparents can and will raise their children then that is great! I even offered my son's birthmom the opportunity to come live with us and we would help her raise her child. I was all for supporting her in keeping him.

But who now looks out for us - the adoptive parents and our children? Only us as individuals as far as I can tell. Only us as far as I have been able to find. I have spent years - and money - searching for help and support for my post-adoption issues and have not found any. Maybe it is time for adoptive parents to work to protect our own rights (but of course not taking away rights from anyone else).

I'm also trying to see all sides - it is easiest to see my own but I work to take all persons into consideration and expose myself to all sides. I'm so sorry you're tired of being burned. I hope I in no way contributed to that. We have suffered so much already.

Christie S.

[billysmommy]

Christie,
I too, searched high and low for an organization like you mentioned - and to my knowledge, none exist. Please keep me updated on what you find, I would be honored to be part of it.

[ChristieS]

I have a friend whose job is a grantwriter for federal and local grants. She is going to do some further research for me to make sure there are not any other organizations such as this out there and then check on a federal grant for a National Adoptive Parents Coalition. The lawyer she works with is meeting with me this week so I can find out what type of license/etc. may be needed to do this.

The first thing my friend said I need is, in order for it to be a national non-profit organization we need a founding member in each state. This does not HAVE to be an adoptive parent -we can start the state charters with any supporter of adoptive parent rights. If I can get just one person from each state to sponsor this then I have a starting point. Anyone interested?

[billysmommy]

I am interested here in Florida........My mom is an aparent in NJ. Count us both in . PM me for my private email addy - I know some others in different states that might be interested.

[ChristieS]

Thanks billysmommy! I have sent you a PM.

Christie S.

[joskids]

I just recalled that our son's foster mother, years ago (about 20) was trying to adopt her first daughter who is biracial and has Down Syndrome. The racial card was a big deal, aside from her being a foster mom and foster parents not being allowed to adopt at that time. They had taken her thru heart surgery and after fostering hundreds of children, wanted to adopt only this one. The agency FOUND a family "of color" who all of the sudden wanted to adopt her. They got the ACLU involved and started the Coalition to End Racism in Adoption. I'm going to continue getting more info. and will keep you posted. Oh, by the way, their beautiful daughter is now 23 and exactly where she was supposed to be -- with her foster/adopt parents.

Josie

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Christie S.

The first thing my friend said I need is, in order for it to be a national non-profit organization we need a founding member in each state.

If you are going to be lobbying for changes in law and policy, you cannot be a non-profit organization. The 501(3)(c) designation is very explicit on this point.

[ChristieS]

Thank you Brenda! These are the kinds of things I need to know. So I'm wondering - it seems we have two different levels here: one thing needed is perhaps an adoptive parents non-profit organization which can help adoptive parents with information and such? And maybe the other is an organization (for-profit????) which lobbies for advancements in law and policy? Obviously both can not be done at the same time?

I placed all these in question marks because I'm not sure about them. Although in thinking about it this does help explain some things about our bureaucracy here in the U.S.

Ideas anyone? Which is most needed?

[I still aim to do SOMETHING to help adoptive parents and I may have to choose between the two.]

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Christie S.

Thank you Brenda! These are the kinds of things I need to know. So I'm wondering - it seems we have two different levels here: one thing needed is perhaps an adoptive parents non-profit organization which can help adoptive parents with information and such?

There are two organizations you should check out.

NACAC The North American Council on Adoptable Children and Ethica. I am on Ethica's board.

[ChristieS]

Thanks Brenda! I'm checking it out.

[ChristieS]

Originally Posted by bromanchik

If you are going to be lobbying for changes in law and policy, you cannot be a non-profit organization. The 501(3)(c) designation is very explicit on this point.

I like Ethica's website and advocacy. They stated they help individual families so I am sending them an e-mail. I have done this with so many organizations though and never received any help -so is there anything you can do to get them to consider just looking at my case?

Also, on the NACAC website I found the following which I thought might be helpful:

Advocacy and Lobbying

Many nonprofit parent groups in the U.S. shy away from advocacy efforts because they believe that the IRS prevents organizations with 501(c)(3) status from lobbying. While the IRS does limit the amount of money a nonprofit can spend on lobbying, nonprofits are certainly allowed to lobby. The IRS simply states that an organization with 501(c)(3) status "may not attempt to influence legislation as a substantial part of its activities and it may not participate at all in campaign activity for or against political candidates." [emphasis added] There are no limits on volunteer efforts and other cost-free activities.

So perhaps it is possible to pull both together in some way?

Thanks again for all your insight!

Christie S.

[Jaefer]

I am interested and from KS. What is required of us?
Let me know.

[StacyKelly2]

Please if we can be of help count us in. We are from Maryland. Please any and all information would be helpful so keep us updated and informed. I am still so confused as to the state statues and why it seems some of these cases do not fall under the statues. In Maryland there are a list of things as far as when parental consent is NOT required...one of them being the child has been out of the parent's custody for 1 year, and has formed a significant attachment to the petitioner. Our little angel has been with us since birth and the baby is now 17 months old...Wouldn't that be enough for terminating rights?