[cricket7]

We have had "D" placed in our home by social services on 4 different times for severe abuse and neglect. Judge has found us to be "de facto custodians". We filed the last adoption and went to court on it June 5, 2006 and again the judge will not allow us to adopt. Our attorney, social services (KY), CASA, GAL for child have done home evaluations and all testified that it would be in the best interest for the child to once and for all to have permanency. Mom hasn't seen him for 3 months this time (court ordered weekly) she comes for a couple and then is gone again for a period of time. and dad (in prison for 20+ years)has only seen him maybe 10 times since he was born. Mom also has gotten herself in other legal trouble, over $17,000. in bad checks and never spent a day in jail (all felonies). Social services has asked the judge to step aside for conflects of interest, outside court contact with mom's mom and they also asked for a change of venue which both he denied. We have spent nearly $60,000. in trying to give this child a permanency. "D" has numerous medical issues (special needs) from the abuse and neglect, like RAD, PTSS. What else can be done to give this child stability? We refuse to give up because we are the only family he knows. Our world stays turned up side down by being in court bi-weekly to monthly. If it is money related we are running empty, paycheck to paycheck. We receive nothing from mom to help with him. Oh yea now mom is pregnant again (dad?) and has now tested positive for cocaine, drugs were involved with the pregnancy of "D". Please any advise is greatly appreciated. We love this child dearly but it seems that the judge he head set against TPR-ing the parents, if you would like to classify them of this wonderful title. God Bless You All for reading this.

[ChristieS]

Hi cricket7,

I wish I could say something to help assuage your feelings. As you can tell on this forum there are many of us who have had extreme difficulties, particularly when the cases seem so cut and dried.

You'll find many different ways aparents on this forum have fought for theie children. Unfortunately, judges are all-powerful and it is almost impossible to fight them. They tend to dig in their heels and stay put. In my case the judge did that even after we had a signed, legal document placing it in another courtroom - didn't matter.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Mostly I'm sorry for your son. We also had social services and their lawyer on our side. Sad. Sad. So sad for everyone involved.

Again, many of us have placed on this board the ways we have fought for our children, but we can not tell you what is right for you or your son. I will say a prayer for all of you and I'm so glad he has at least one place where he can go for respite care.

Best wishes and prayers for all of you.

[janf]

sorry to hear you are dealing with this.. Just a thought but have you ask the judge to be replaced in this situation. nothing related but i had ask a judge to step aside because he was in favor of the ex husband and said he didn't have to pay child support for 2 kids(wth is that)..got new judge and wham bam all is fine now.

jan

[StacyKelly2]

My heart goes out to you. Clearly this child's best interest is to stay with you. It is just downright sad that the judge's do not see the everyday damage that this brings into a child's life. A child needs stability and lots of love its clear neither one of the biological parents can offer any of this -never have and never will. The system is just so quick to give these angels back to the place that they were taken from to begin with...Sure I believe biological parent's deserve to get their children back but time limits along with the best interest of the child desperately needs to be looked at!!! I will pray with you along with the parent's who are in contested adoptions. May God Bless...