[ChristieS]

This doesn't make sense to me.

I live in Alabama and can not understand how my son can be four next month and we are STILL fighting for him.

Part of the problem is I tried for a private adoption without going through DHR. I wish I had gone through DHR, but I was under the impression that one could adopt privately. Apparently private adoptions are not treated the same as DHR adoptions - the court treated it differently anyway.

Bmom is now out of juvy and emancipated. She did have a jpo (juvenile probation officer) and case worker - but I'm not sure if that remains the case since she is 18 and emancipated. I do know her court-appointed attorneys remain on the case because they were appointed to an ongoing case when she was 14. She has 5 attorneys being paid for by the state and every time they file against us they got money and we lost money. Do the math - who can afford to outbid the state for their son?


The judge ordered we sign a contract with her allowing visitation and retaining parental rights or lose our son. I wish I had never signed - but he was 2 years old and who can just go hand over their 2-year-old to the foster care system? (bmom was in juvy) How could I not sign? Only now it has come back to haunt us.

The judge's reasoning was that she was too young to have her parental rights completely terminated and, as she told me one time, "Your son's Gal is best friends with my GaL and my GaL is best friends with the judge and that is why I get whatever I want." That was my first clue that politics was involved, and that private adoption are treated differently.

Physically the child is with me. Custody is also with me. But I have two sets of papers - a completed adoption with a birth certificate, AND another contract in which she retains parental rights. They are in direct opposition to each other. Lawyers contacted have stated this is more likely to go to the Supreme Court to be resolved. I can't even fathom how much more that will cost.

I have won each motion because I have followed the contract to the letter, but she is not held to the same standard. Or rather, we have to take it to a higher court to fully terminate parental rights, or void the contract. Yes, she can file against me easily if I do not comply, and so I am quite dilligent in doing so.

I did ask DHR about if he should be in State custody since the custody issue is in question - but they stated the child is in a loving home and they do not want to take custody just to terminate her rights unless my rights are terminated.

This whole mess has me terribly confused also. Add to that that it has been going on for four years with dozens of motions, counter-motions, and trials and you can see why I am frustrated and angry with the whole thing. I really thought you could just privately adopt a child in the state of Alabama. Doesn't work the same. Had I known I would have gone through DHR from the beginning. Actually, I would have done an international adoption.

She has never even asked how he is doing. Neither has any attorney, or the judge. There is a motion to rescind the adoption (remember - my son will be FOUR next month) and it is unfathamable to me that this can be done.


Thanks for listening. I'm tired and angry and just can not believe we still do not consider the best interest of the child.

[ddhuab]

I am sending you a big hug!

I am also from Alabama. Wish I could say something that would help, but your situation is every pre-adoptive parents nightmare! And I am sure you have spent your son's college fund in legal fees, as I can bet I know who your lawyer is (very good but extrememly pricey?).

I *hope* that if you situation goes to the Supreme Court, that an attorney interested in adoption rights would work pro bono for the exposure and for the principle... I wonder if someone like Gloria Allred would be interested in this (I saw a Prime Time special in which she was involved in a case that was custodial as well as, criminal).

I really don't understand how a system can abuse parents this way, and jeopardize a child's life (psychologically, emotionally, and possibly even physically, eventually if something bad happened).

D.

[ChristieS]

Thanks D! No, he is not my lawyer. Get this: he said he works in every county in Alabama EXCEPT the one I lived in b/c the court there does whatever they want and there are problems in that county even HE can't solve. He has consulted quite a few times - for free - on my case with four different lawyers. He has been great - but he won't take my case. I met him last month at the "Adoption Law in Alabama" conference in Birmingham.