[billysmommy]

Well, we have gotten confirmation that our daughter's case is finally at the appeal panel. She is now 16 months old. We have been waiting for this since May and now that it is happening, I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am thrilled that there is an end in sight, thrilled with the excitement of the probability that the lower courts ruling will be upheld and she will finally be ours legally. Night falls, and I close my eyes and those same thoughts are taken over by absolute fear of losing my little girl.
As anxious as we are for this ruling, the past 6 months in limbo have been remarkably wonderful - just living life as a family.
How am I going to get through this time until they rule???

[6boysrus]

Lots of prayer and support and cherish every moment to its fullest..

Hang in there.. we are rooting for you...

[Linny]

Six months ago, our family-- as we knew it-- was obliterated. I cannot go into detail at this point, but it had nothing to do with our child's adoption status.

At that time, I wondered how we'd/I'd ever get through this. Something that we---ever in our wildest dreams EVER thought we'd be facing and going through.....I mean, there were times it was an effort to just 'be', KWIM?

But....here we are....six months later, and there is light at the end of the nightmare. Exactly how it will end, has yet to be determined.....but I/we've gotten through it. We will survive.

My advice to you....in these horrible hours of uncertainty.....of fear.......is to surround yourself during the day with people who will support you. People who understand what you're going through; people you have and can pour your innermost thoughts and fears to.
Keep their words....close to your heart. Write down thoughts from them, if need be. If you are a believer in Christ or any higher being.....read from the Word. Immerse yourself in these things, have them close at hand, so when you are discouraged and upset, you can read these things to comfort you.

I know that in very uncertain times, fear can grip you like a vise. Pray, read, talk.....and as I heard someone repeat: "In the darkest night, the stars shine their brightest!"

Hang in there....cherish each minute (as the above poster said).....to the fullest.

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[AMom2Two]

(((billysmommy)))

I'm so sorry this is still going on. I was hoping I would hear some good news by now and was surprised when I read this recent post (((((billysmommy))))

Please know I'm thinking of you and saying extra prayers for your family. I like Linny's post. She always has a way of making things just a little bit better.

Please keep us posted!!!

(((hugs)))

[FauxClaud]

It will be Ok.

Do you have an aproximate time frame of how long it will take? Sometimes I find things are more managable if I know it will only last a certain period of time.

Hoping for you.

[billysmommy]

Thank you all for your replies.

Eggy........ To quote my attorney " they could rule tomorrow, next week, next month - possibly not before the end of the year." How's that for a time frame? I too, think I could handle it much better if I just knew WHEN to expect it. Now I jump every time the phone rings, and my heart races every time I check my email. (I figure if it's good news it will be via telephone, bad news via email).
Amomto2.....Good to "see" you. Thanks for your prayers. How's that precious little one doing??
Linny...........Thank you, so much. I have been surrounding myself with those people who could most relate, but really, one can only understand if they have been there. Just having the ears to yell at, the shoulders to cry on - has given me the strength to fight this battle this long. I could not have survived thus far without my dear friends (online and in real life) and family.
6boys..........Thank you.

I'm going through the motions, getting through the days. My stomach is in knots and I don't think I will eat or sleep until we get the ruling, but other than that I am ok, LOL. What I am struggling the most with is the fear of what a ruling against us would do to our family. My kids are siblings - through adoption and biology. They are incredibly attached to one another. To separate them would be a horrible injustice, IMO.
This morning I was sitting on the kitchen floor tying my daughter's shoes - she leaned into me and with her chubby little hands pulled my face to hers for a kiss. I don't care what the papers say, I am her Mommy, and to lose me would be traumatic for her (and for me of course).
I think that everyone has a different opinion of the length of time it takes to bond, but at 16 months the bond is unmistakable. It is insane that our justice system cannot find a way to make these cases priority. By prolonging the decisions, they punish the children.
Sorry, starting to rant here............again, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
My prayer is that justice is served and my daughter is allowed to stay with the family she loves - and who loves her.

[macrod]

Billysmommy, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I never prayed so hard in my life. Whenever I was feeling overwhelmed I would go to my prayer spot in my house. I would pray to Jesus, St. Jude, and Mother Mary. I can not tell you how many novenas I prayed. I carried a rosary in my pocket for comfort. I would break down and cry for no reason. Like you I could not eat and sometimes I had a hard time sleeping. Please take care of yourself. It took a year for me to recover after the trial. The judge ruled in our favor. But I had lost so much weight and had a vitamin defiency and most importantly I did not feel that I truly enjoyed my dd's first year of life. I was on eggshells with every phonecall or letter from the court. It is true what they say that suffering brings you closer to God, it sure did for me. I hope that I did not offend you. I am going to keep you in my prayers.

[stacykelly]

I am sending prayers your way...in times like this we need to stick together.My baby is seven months and the heartache of the possibility of losing him is constantly on our minds.I am glad we have become friends through emails..Nobody knows the pain and heartache until they actually have gone through this...For us this is the greatest test of love and faith ever given...prayer got us all this far.Nothing can take away the pain of the unknown, but we tkae nothing for granted and thank God everyday we still have him with us...prayers to you..

[sadiegirl]

Billysmommy,

I am thinking of you and hope you get a ruling soon; don't want to hijack, but we are going thru almost the same thing.

BF abandoned bmom during pgy and when presented with adoption papers at birth contested the adoption. Got a trial this summer and judge ruled in our favor, that BF's rights be terminated. He is appealing and we are told by atty that appeal will take AT LEAST a year. DS will be 19 mos by then. I just get thru the days by NOT thinking about it.

And I know how you feel about waiting for the ruling. In the 1st case, we were told that judge had ruled but had to wait for the answer! Luckily, it was only a week but yes, that was the LONGEST week of our lives. It was horrible, to say the least.

[SadieAnn]

Billysmommy - I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. It's so unfair to you, and Sadiegirl, and anyone who has to endure this. I think the same thing time and time again, "forget for a moment what is fair to bparents and aparents, but the laws/courts need to focus solely on what is best for the child", (which never in MY opinion if for these things to drag on... as you said, there should be a priority when it comes to children).

As far as bonding, we had a placement fail after just 5 wks, and it hurt something awful. So my heart goes out to anyone who is going through what you are. I cannot imagine the fear you must feel. I have strong hope that cases that are appealed do not turn over easily. I will pray hard that your family is together always and that the answer comes sooner than later. For YOU and for anyone who is going through this! (((hugs)))

[Linny]

Billysmommy....any news?

Sincerely,

Linny

[Happy123]

I to am awaiting our next court date. We have had our little one 3 months now and I just found out court will be delayed until 12/16. I think the BP will contest and it will go into Jan. I sometimes look at him when he is asleep and wonder how I could hand him over. It is just very stressful. We do have the older siblings, and the SW tells me they will TPR--I don't care--it is not over until the papers are thru the court. I still worry about it so...
I will keep you in my prayers. Good Luck and God Bless,
Happy123 (with knots in my stomach)

[SnoFLKDrms]

I understand how you are feeling and that is where faith comes in. As foster moms and Adoptive parents we always want what is best for the child.
Who is to say that one day just knowing that the biological parents fought for the child will not bring her some comfort in later years. So keep your faith and know that if this adoption is meant to be it will .

As adoptive parents we can never really rest until those final papers are signed and the judge makes it final......and you are a true family.

I know in our family we celebrate that day as if it were like a birthday for our entire family.

However on the down side We had one child we loved very dearly (a little boy 17 months old) taken out of our home and placed with someone else for adoption simply because the other foster parent had the child in her home first. She had given him up to be placed into another home because she could not get along with the birth mom. Not only did we nurture this child and make him part of our family. We also helped his birth mom through things because she was mentally unable to care for him, however she loved him so very much.

When they took him from us. He wiped a tear from my eye and said "Mommy Cry" We never saw him again. We have photos of him that bring us peace and we always include him in our prayers.

I was so heartbroken because I was the first person he ever called Mom. My husband and I both as well as our other adopted children went through a depression. We rest in the knowledge that "For such a time as this" we had him to love and nurture and he in turn loved and nurtured us back.

So keep the faith and know that you are enriching this little ones life no matter what happens.
My chirstmas wish for you is that this little one become your family very soon.

Think Positive..........Hugs from SnoFLKDrms @aol.com

[billysmommy]

Thanks again to everyone who responded - I had been away and had not checked the thread. No news yet Linny............and I suspect that with the Evan Scott case being back in the Fl. courts, we won't get a ruling before the end of the year. Just a gut feeling there....
I am so sorry for all of us who are going through these battles for our beloved children. I pray every day for our children, that justice is served and their best interests are truly considered.