[anifish]

Hi My name is Andi and I have been reading these threads, they are so hard to imagine any of you having to go through this. I have 4 bio children and understand the beauty of falling in love with a your child. To have them taken away is unthinkable, I would want to die. So that is what has lead me here. My parents didn't finalize my adoption for a year after getting me. The emotions they endured I will never know. The waiting had to be the hardest. Or just the unknown. A whole year of what ifs?. They loved me so dearly, and to loose me they would have possibly not attempted again. It just might have been to much. So I want to say thankyou to everyone that has lost a child, or may possibly have a failed adoption. I guess this is for anyone who is considering,or in the process of adoption. Thankyou for your strengh and hope. Thankyou for putting everything out there, and risking it all. Thankyou for your patience. Thankyou for the guts you all have, not all people would do it. Some people can't endure the pain, or worry it will go bad. So from an adoptee that has thanked her parents, I want to offer my prayers and love to all of you. Without all of the above qualities I would never have been placed in my parents arms on Christmas Eve of 1968. Thank god they were willing. I love them more then words can describe. I hope their is a child in the world waiting to be able to say this to you all one day, Bug Hugs, andi

[stacykelly]

I read your post and I am crying.I needed that sooooo much!!! To many times i think people take for granted the pain that is endured when a child is left with someone.We have had our hopeful adoptive son for 4 months now.We were there for the delivery and every doctor's appointment.I cannot stress just how much we love this little baby he is our long awaited angel.....the birthfather is going back and forth with his decision.Right now he has decided to contest the adoption.He cannot possibly realize the hurt and pain this is causing.The everyday worry we carry with us.Looking into this precious baby's eyes and knowing that he could be taken from us is something we cannot even imagine.He has bonded with us and continues to be very close to our hearts.We thank God everyday he is with us.We do not know God's plan so far we had him for 4 months and we hope God will allow us to keep him forever.We cherish everyday and take nothing for granted.We have to be strong and just continue to keep loving him as much as we can that is the most important thing....i always asked myself would i do this all over again.Everytime i come up with the same answer....yes.The love for this baby is unbelievable ...
I want to thank you for your posting.I hope to have many angels come our way each adoption situation can be risky...I know in my heart this baby was placed with us for a reason and if it means for us to love him for a couple of months that is what we will do...i would never forgive myself if i did not take the risk....and one day God will give us our angel....

[anifish]

Well stacy now we are both crying. lol I will keep you, your husbands and your son in my prayers, andi

[mommieof2cuties]

Dear Stacy:

Just wanted to tell you that made me cry also! I hope everything works out for you and your family. Sending postive thoughts your way. God Bless,
Summer

[dadfor2]

anifish,,

your post was wonderful and beautifully written, i needed to hear that tonight..so thank you.


stacey,

i have no words, the strengh you guys have, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

take care of yourselves.

[RCBB]

I also needed to hear that. Thank you.

[smanette]

I am a new member at this site, but have been an adoptive mom twice, so far, and am attempting our 3rd adoption. We lost the 2 boys we were attempting to adopt (our second adoption) this past June. It was extremely hard for me to deal with and almost harder for my husband becuase he couldn't use me to cry on. He felt he had to be strong me and our son. We want a large family so much, and for us the only way to get that large family is through adoption. Thank you, Andi, for giving me the encouragement to continue risking my heart. I will forever hold your comments in my heart and remember the way I felt when reading them, even should this adoption, too, fail!!! Thank you so very much!!!!
Manette

[anifish]

Dear Manette I meant every word of it. You all are so wonderfull, there are so many wonderfull parents here on the forums and they can offer so much support. I have met some very special people and with out them i could not be where I am with my journey.. i love my mom and dad so much and when My Dad died I thought well I could have had a rotten Dad for a lifetime and instead I had this great guy for 32 years. I am one lucky girl, I just recently found my info and I was right .God gave him to me special and he was all mine. My bdad didn't seem to want too much to do with me from what I read. So see I was right all along,, good luck and I am sorry for your loss, ani

[billysmommy]

Thank you. I too, needed this today.

"My parents didn't finalize my adoption for a year after getting me. The emotions they endured I will never know. The waiting had to be the hardest. Or just the unknown. A whole year of what ifs?. "


I am living this now. My daughter is 14 months old and has been with us since she was minutes old.......
The thought of losing her - and of her losing us - is just too much to bear.

[Kelli]

Originally Posted by anifish

I hope their is a child in the world waiting to be able to say this to you all one day, Bug Hugs, andi

Andi, my life's wish is that my daughter will also love us in the manner in which you have so beautifully expressed. We love HER "more then words can describe!" What a wonderful thing to read this morning.

Peace and blessings,

Kelli

[msmoo2]

Thank you so much for this post. I really needed it today. As an amom to an 8 yr old girl and having a failed adoption of another baby girl this week.... I really needed to hear your words. I feel awful as a parent to have my 8yr old so upset over our failed adoption. She even came to the hospital wearing her "I'm a Big Sister" tshirt only to have us tell her that the bmom had changed her mind. I can't begin to describe the shrieks that came from her. I'm feeling such guilt for putting her through all that our family has gone thru this week. Thank you for reminding me that it IS worth it in the end!

[anifish]

Oh my goodness!! poor baby,, it just goes to show how the whole familys heart and soul goes into this,, and it also shows how these adopted children affect our lives just as much if not more then bio children sometimes,,, because it just is not as easy to have them come into your lives. You take on more risks, your hearts are out their open and exposed. Bless every one of your hearts. I can not imagine the pain, I would think it would be like not taking one of the children I gave birth to home. And it would be the same for my kids. they would mourn the loss of that sibling. Do not feel bad about the way you handled your 8 year old, why should you have treated this any different. IMO you should not. You were bringing a new child home to your family and it should have been celebrated no differently then you had planned. I am so sorry,, my heart just aches along with your familys. Do not even think of puting that big sister shirt away,, it was just not meant to be yet. But hold onto it,,, along with some prayers and hope for the future,,,,
hugs andi