[tea4susan]

my husband and i returned from florida a couple days ago, where we were supposed to adopt a newborn little girl. when we got to the hospital the birthmother sent us away, and we were soon told by the social worker that the pbmom had changed her mind and decided to parent. i can tell by the other messages on this board that this happens all the time, but i feel so alone and so sad. i feel like our little baby girl died. my husband returned to work today, and it's difficult to be home alone because i had stopped working to stay at home with the baby. we were supposed to come home with our child, and it feels so awful to be home without her. if anyone can offer me some advice or support i would really appreciate it. my friends are being great, but i don't know anyone else who has been through this who can offer me advice. thanks so much.

sue

[Hopefull]

Sue I'm so sorry. We had a similar situation and you're right it does feel like a death. My whole family and friends were affected. My husband and I went out and got some baloons and wrote prayers and messages to our lost baby girl and sent them up to heaven. It's ok to grieve for this baby girl. Do whatever feels right for you. The only thing that helps is time. The adoption journey can be such a rough road, but in the end it is all worth it.
Hang in there, Rene

[cocomfs]

Sue,
So sorry for your loss.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Collette

[tea4susan]

thanks so much for your kind responses. i feel as if i have no support to offer others here, other than to say how very sorry i am for the pain we are all going through.

[mroot]

Susan - I responded to your other thread but wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. No one understands the pain you are going through unless they have experienced it themselves. We had a failed adoption but had only been matched a week and then we pulled out of a situation because of the pbmom's lies. Both were very heartbreaking, but not near the heartache you must be feeling after traveling so far only to come back empty handed. Hang in there and know you are in my thoughts!

[Leigh131313]

We had two failed adoptions...and both felt quite different.

as another posted stated, no one can understand unless you have been through it. I found friends and family just didnt "get it" ya know?

All I can say is, stay on that adoption band wagon.... take time if you NEED it....but, if your name/file isnt out there, you will never be chosen.

Perhaps now would be a good time to get busy doing something...any hobbies? Because I found sitting around made me wallow in it...once i got busy, it got easier.

In the end, i think you will find that things will work out how they are meant to. When you ARE holding your precious baby, you wont be able to believe there could have been a different child for you. I know that is of little comfort to you right now....

" God blessed the broken road, that lead me straight to you "


Take care of yourself,
Leigh