[Jmuckey]

We are on pins and needles. Last week, we met our Birth mother and found that our baby would be due July 8. This very strong, beautiful girl had made this adoption plan with our agency and made it loud and clear that she did not want to parent. It was reassured that the birth father would agree and sign relinquishments. The very next day he filed paternity. She is due anytime know and most likely be forced to parent. He has no job, no where to live, and it has been said that he is doing this out of spite. In our state he has 30 days to follow through with the courts after he files. He said that he might want to meet us...We feel he is going to drag this on for the 30 days and do anything possible to hurt the birth mom. She is not agreeing to put the baby into newborn care until a decision has been made on his part. We can't risk taking the baby home to have him take him back. Just seeking advice and support. PM me if you want and I can be more specific.

[mimc]

If he is doing this out of spite to hurt her, then perhaps he will back off when he is hit with reality - that he might actually have to take a baby home and raise it. Hang in there.

[SadieAnn]

Jen,

I am so sorry you are experiencing this. We lost a baby after 5 wks home with us. I'm happy to say we now have another child in our life. Still, it does not take away the pain of that first lost. My heart goes out to anyone who loses a baby after bonding with them.

Walking away is the hardest thing to do. We couldn't do it and we took the baby home from the hospital despite the risks. We couldn't believe we could come this close after years of infertility and then lose him. But that's exactly what happened.

I am here if you need someone to talk too. I will pray your situation works out. (((hugs)))

[Jmuckey]

It's nice to be back on the forums..I was here about a year ago when we first were approved. Talked to the caseworker yesterday and she is trying to talk pbmom into newborn care for 30 days to see if bf isn't "bluffing". It's pretty sick knowing that someone can be intentionally trying to ruin so many lives..most important the baby..

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Jmuckey

Talked to the caseworker yesterday and she is trying to talk ** into newborn care for 30 days to see if bf isn't "bluffing". It's pretty sick knowing that someone can be intentionally trying to ruin so many lives..most important the baby..

Why should the baby be in newborn care if his/her mother is willing to care for her? I have some deep questions about how ethical it is for a social worker to try and talk a client into anything. If he is bluffing she can still place the baby. If adoption is the right decision it will be the right decision even after the mom cares for her for a month.

I think it is also important to think about the biases against fathers in these situations. If a father does not agree with placement he is instantly doing it out of spite. Could it be he actually loves his baby? Why is that such a stretch? Have you met him yet? I would just say to hold off on judging his actions and intentions until you meet him.