[mistysaphire]

Hi, Well I feel really bad for all the families involved with this kind of thing. We have three adopted children. Our 9 year old has killed 4 of our family pets and now has tried to kill her sister, and my husband, We have a two year old and she told doctor's he would be next........ Well She is in the hospital for this right now.They can only hold her so long in there. We are trying to get her into residential program BUT..... Our insurance won't pay for it so we have gotten her on medicaid.... I hear that won't pay either... Now we don't know what to do. I think we need to produce a dead body before anyone in the state will help... They say it may take up to a year to get her in one..... We live in florida and I was wondering if anyone had any information or advice... She will be getting out soon and it is very hard trying to keep everyone safe.... She sneaks posion, needles, medicine, etc... anything she can find and put in our food and drinks......
any information on what steps to take will be appreciated...


Worried in florida!

I am new to this... I was not sure if I posted it in the right place so here it is again......

[roxanna425]

it's drastic but you can put your child in voluntary placement with CPS. the regulations on how to do this varies by state (in some the child has to be in danger from YOU) so you might want to contact an attorney but if you don't have the funds and it seems to me like you are in danger and she needs treatment you do what you have to do.

[sonshine456]

we had a similar problem with our child being bounced in and out of hospitals, the whole time trying to find a residential facility for her. there was a concern for her safety and ours each time she was sent home yet we couldn't get her into a res. fac. because of funding and open beds(more so the funding). frustrating!! she was on medicaid and that paid for dr visits, meds, and therapy while in res. and then we got the rest through adoption subsidy (which is next to nothing) and a levy fund for our county. I would get in touch with someone from NAMI(national alliance for the mentally ill). the website is namifl.org They may have connections or at least be able to guide you to help to get your child into residential. they were a great resource in my state anyway.

[mistysaphire]

Thanks you for the information. At this point I am looking at every possible solution......

[Linny]

I'm not in Florida. Years ago, we went through this with our oldest, older adoption son. It was a nightmare of four years in our home.......and constant watching of him to make sure he didn't try to kill the other kids.
In our state, there is a state grant that pays for kids who qualify for this type of thing. They had a list of participating residential facilities. Our therapist (attachment therapist) helped us get that list...and I just started calling to find out what the charges were....and WHETHER THEY HAD THEIR OWN GRANT OR SCHOLARSHIP program.
We found one close by that did. We had to wait only months before our son was admitted (without the help of DCF) into their scholarship program. It was good for one year...and during that time, we put together a TON of paperwork to apply for the state grant. He was able to get into that program.
His condition has deterriorated....but at least we are now at last SAFE. He has severe reactive attachment disorder (which the dept knew of ahead of time----but failed to give us the paperwork we asked for previous to adoption!!!! )

There is no way we could have waited for one more year before his leaving. We'd have all been injured, or at the least 'gone insane' in dealing with him. The residential facility eventually asked us to move him to another place, because of his non-compliance and continued escalation of violent acts. He now lives several states away; and while we are required to deal with him through phone contact, yearly visit........I'm sorry to say there is no love lost on his personality. Frankly, he's scarey to even talk to, much less visit with.
I'd talk to your therapist to see if you can find 'such a list'.....or hire an attorney to help in your pursuit. There is no reason any family should have to go through this kind of hell with any child...risking personal injury or death.

Sincerely,

Linny

[mistysaphire]

Thanks for the info..... I am glad that you are safe now. I sure know what it is like to watch someone to make sure they don't try to hurt anyone.....Not a good way for anyone to live. I will check into state grant money and see what I can find out. The doctor's told us they will be releasing her soon. As a last resort we will contact dcf to take her out of here to protect are other children...... Good luck with your situation!

Thanks again

Misty

[traceyk]

I can steer you in the right direction. Your daughter probably has RAD (reactive attachment disorder). One of my friend adopted a three year old years ago that was abused and she just recently at 13 came out of a residential home. You need to find a psychologist that has experience with this. Where are you located?

[mistysaphire]

We are in the Orlando area. They are telling us they don't think it Attachement disorder...... Now.... She was baker acted again and she just got out yesterday,,,, So we are living on guard once again...... We are going to petition the courts for placement shelter this week so we are hoping it will happen soon.....We contacted an attorney so he is helping..... But if you know of a good therapist in this area any information may be helpful..... What ever became of your friend's child? did the RTC help her a lot?
Misty

[roxanna425]

get a lawyer to protect your families interests and get a statement from her psychiatrist that she's a danger to your family, mention the dead pets.

[Deniseyolande]

Your best bet would be to contact DCF and apply for voluntary services. It sounds like this child needs residential treatment for her mental health issues. I know in Connecticut you don't have to give up your rights to the child, but even if you did it would be in her best interest and it wouldn't be forever. Yo should explore all your options.

How old was she when you adopted her? If you adopted her through the Florida DCF or contracted agency, they might of been aware of her mental health issues and would be obliged to cover her expenses, with a little push of course.

[lucyjoy]

Why did you pick this child up? Better to be charged with abandonment then to bury your two year old.

Is this a state adopted child? Not sure what the laws are in Florida, but you might try asking for a department of mental health worker and see what happens. Is this child adopted from the state or is it a private adoption? There may be subsidy available. How about SSI? Who and on what grounds was RAD ruled out? Have you contacted NACAC for help? They might be able to help you find funding for out of home placement and treatment. If your daughter injures or kills someone, you will be charged. Your better off taking the abandonment charges and arguing your case in court. You have obtained a lawyer to help you fight this? If not, do so immediately.

[traceyk]

Unfortunately my friends daughter was very good at convincing the staff at every hospital and residential care facility that her adoptive Mom was the problem. So basically after a few years of living outside the home, they decided she could go back and my friend had no choice but to let her back in because otherwise she would be charged with abandonement. My friend used Dr. Pines in Glastonbury , CT and he has done many lectures and RAD is all he deals with. Perhaps if you call him he can refer you to someone in Florida.

[mistysaphire]

We have contacted an attorney lucyjoy, And we are petitioning the courts tomorrow. We are told that sometimes they will hear your case the same day so that is what we are hoping for. The psycholgist in the mental hospital that has seen her every time she has been baker acted is ruling that out.....We were going to not pick her up but were told by our attorney that instead of being charged with a crime......... (And yes I agree we would be charged if she was succesful.) we could do what we are doing and get a faster result then waiting on the state. You see we contacted children's home society which are suppose to help us with the funding but it can take months........ And we don't have that long......... They are dragging butt!!!! so I think this is the best solution.... now if the judge will not remove her then we will have no other cholce than to adbandon her...... The laws and mental health in this country are really bad.... so for the next day unless we baker act her again, we will be watching her every
move.......

Tracey now what is your friend going to do? I feel for her.

[drjeanne]

I read all of this thread in horror! I have heard of these situations but, never have been privy to hearing tales about them firsthand. Are there signs to look for for these problems? Were there warning signs? I will be praying for you and your families! I feel for the suffering children.

J

[mistysaphire]

Well all I can tell you is. When we first adopted our daughter she was 3. It seemed to me whenever we told her not to do something she was determined to do it. Then as time went on a lot of things got broken... always on accident. Our other daughter was 6 then. She would tell me mommy I don't like to play with her she kills or makes things die.... With her not being with us that long I thought it must be things she had seen on tv... She sang the song to the show"cops".... But other than those kind of things I really did not notice anything... Most of us not being that way think of things differently. I had never heard of a child being the way she is before.....So I did not give it any thoughts.... Most children with att. disorder have a lot of the same traits,,,, but they differ in some degrees... The best thing I can tell you is to get as much background information as you can about any child you are going to adopt.....I wish you the best of luck!