[joannab74]

Hi, our names are Jason and Jo Anna. Our youngest daughter, Kyleigh, was placed with us through a private adoption agency on November 4th, 2002 at the age of 10 weeks. Her birthmother's rights had already been terminated and we were told that the birthfather had skipped town when he found out she was pregnant. We had been leery up to that point about accepting an "at risk" placement, but we felt that this was one of the least risky "at risk" situations we'd seen, so we agreed to the placement.

Kyleigh's birthmom is a single mom parenting 5 other children, and felt she could not handle the responsibility of a sixth child. We did not get a chance to meet her face-to-face, but we spoke with her over the phone and it was obvious that she was firm in this choice.

In January, we were informed at a post-placement visit that Ky's birthmom had lied to the agency about who the birthfather was. The birthfather was actually a man with whom she had 3 of her older children. Worse still, she had also lied to him. She knew that he would never agree to an adoption, so after Ky was born she told the birthfather that Ky had died. At the time, he had accepted that as the truth, but in December while spending time with his three other children at her house, he found Ky's birth certificate. He confronted her and she told him the truth. He immediately demanded that she take him to the adoption agency, which she did and he started the process of trying to get Kyleigh back.

After many court postponements, continuances and such, the judge was finally able to hear testimony on December 4th, 2003. The judge ruled that he had obviously believed his child was dead and that from the time he found out the truth, he had done what was required to retain his rights, and Kyleigh could not be adopted.

We will be traveling on Monday, January 19th, to transition Kyleigh back into her birthfamily. Because we live
so far away this transition will only be 1 week instead of the usual 2-3 months.

It's hard for us to believe that in 2 short weeks, Kyleigh will no longer be ours. She has been our daughter for almost 15 months. She only saw her birthmom at birth, and really has never known any other parents but us. She's never seen her birthfather. As hard as this is on us, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like for Ky. She is too young to understand.
I can imagine her waking up in the middle of the night and wanting Daddy, and the Daddy she knows won't be there. I can imagine her getting hurt and wanting Mommy, and the Mommy she knows won't be there. We know she will feel like we abandoned her, rejected her, and that is killing us.

We are thankful that our older daughter, Samantha (9), is old enough to process this and go through the grieving process. We know that this will be incredibly hard on her, but at least she can understand it to a point. She very clearly said to us one night "this is why you shouldn't lie. Look at all the people [birthmom's] lie has hurt."

Jason and Jo Anna

[tobeafamily]

I am so sad for you. Please know y'all will be in our prayers.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[mckenna]

i had such a hard time reading this, i cannot imagine what you and your family and the baby are going through. you are in my thoughts.

[willowhawk]

My heart goes out to you guys.....This seems like something you'd only hear about in the movies...I have to say, my first two adopted kids (7 & 9) and my last one (2) were all high risk adoptions. The first two had different fathers, one signed off when birth mom's rights were terminated, but the other was parts unknown. We were concerned about this, but the legal department of our agency posted an item in the local newspaper for three consecutive weeks and this was all they said they had to do...just to notify anyone claiming to be the father of said child....if no response then, legally we were in the clear. With our two year old, the birth mom said she had no idea who the father was...the same thing was done. We have had no problems as supposedly this prevents any legal recourse from any unknown parent. Not sure if something like this would help you in the future. Again, I'm thinking of you and Samantha.....Cindy

[redhedded]

I continue to think of you often and hope you are doing okay. I am so sorry for all of you. Please stay around here for some support.

[Papamba]

Hi JoAnna, I have known of your story for quite some time from the other board from which you resigned. I know this is a fear none of us could begin to imagine. I will continue to keep you, your family & mostly Ky in my thoughts and prayers.

Pam

[daga1629]

I'm so sorry for what happen to you & your family. I know you must be so hurt, so angry, so confused about everything. You must've questioned God "why" so many times. Just pray for baby Ky and your daughter it's going to be very hard these upcoming months. Be strong.

I'll pray for you & your family. God Bless!!!!!

Remember: "Where sometimes God closes a door; he opens a
window" (SOUND OF MUSIC)

Please have faith. You haven't done anything wrong to deserve what happen w\you & your family.

Are you thinking of adopting again?

Best Wishes
Diana

[cathy102]

Sorry to hear your story. My daughters is 16 months and I couldn't even imagine my daughter being taken away after that length of time..I hope you are doing ok. You will be in my prayers...

Hugs,

Cathy

[dadfor2]

i am so sorry. Your story is one of the saddest i have heard out here.

I cant even begin to imagine the pain you feel.

i truly am so sorry.

dadfor2

[paytons mom]

I'm so sorry we have a similar story in that we had our little guy 2 years and his aunt wanted him back, in the state IA bfamily has rights. No one can truly know how hard this is. Or what to say to people. I just recently took his car seat out. Our family will never be the same. We won't try again. I grieve with you

[cathy102]

Payton's Mom...

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, also. It must of been hard for your family.. You will be in my prayers...

Cathy

[seeking2adopt]

Reading your post was heart-wrenching . . . I am so sorry for your loss and pray that God will give you healing in a supernatural way. Again, I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you.