[Quesita]

Ok. I’m starting my preliminary research on Ethiopian adoptions. I've thought about it for a long time, but I started trying to take the first steps today. I’ve spoken with the agency I used for my first adoption (Guatemala) and I’ve read several other agency web sites. And I'm not happy.

So this is what I’ve heard and read so far.

Ethiopia is no longer accepting singles.

I know that there was a thread earlier on this topic, and those in the know seemed to say that it was a possibility that Ethiopia could close to singles, but that it hasn’t happened yet. Can anyone confirm the current status?

Ethiopia does not allow out of birth order adoptions.

I have a 26 month old toddler, and I have been considering a child who is about two years older than my beautiful daughter. My daughter loves big kids, is the youngest in daycare, is the youngest cousin, and was the youngest in foster care for the first 13 months of her life. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I am still not certain, but I think I would like to bring a slightly older child into our family.

Ethiopia requires that there be no more than 45 years age difference between the child and the parent.

I’m 46. If I can’t do an out of birth order adoption, and if there MUST be 45 years age difference, then the fact that I have a two year old means that Ethiopia is not an option for me, even if it is still open to singles.

Can anyone confirm that any of these statements is in fact true? Or are they just agency requirements. If they are agency-specific requirements, can anyone recommend an agency that does NOT have these requirements?

Thanks!

[ocracoke]

Originally Posted by Quesita

Ethiopia is no longer accepting singles.



Ethiopia does not allow out of birth order adoptions.



Ethiopia requires that there be no more than 45 years age difference between the child and the parent.

Ethiopia appears to be setting out some serious restrictions on singles adopting. Ethiopia is still accepting single applicants. Some agencies have been given number restrictions for a Calendar year (August to August). Most are being told no more then 3-10 single applicants a year. Some agencies are opting not to work with singles as a result. Some are way passed their limit of waiting singles so are no longer taking single applicants. Some have not received their restrictions yet but expect to get them soon from MOWA. It is possible that Ethiopia will close entirely to singles at some point but it has not yet happened.

Ethiopia has no rule about out of birth order adoptions. However, most agencies working in Ethiopia do not allow this. Some just discourage it while others say no way no how. That being said, it is possible that Ethiopia has told a particular agency (and contracted with them) not to allow out of birth order adoptions.

I don't believe that 45 is a hard and fast rule. I have heard of some older folks getting infants. Again this is going to be an agency specific thing.

If you want to tell me the agency you are considering (in PM) then I could tell you the reputation they have in Ethiopia -- if I know. And I might be able to suggest a few other options if you are interested.

Samantha

[Quesita]

Thank you Samantha. You are a WEALTH of info!!!

I'm making a few phone calls right now, and if I find an agency that is even willing to accept me, I will pm you and ask about reputation.

[hopefully4]

I have adopted three times from Ethiopia and we are currently pursuing our fourth adoption. I am not single, but have a large family and have adopted out of birth order twice (soon to be three times). Different agencies have different rules, but Ethiopia has NOT closed to singles, although more regulations have been put in place. Also, it looks as though perhaps the singles regulations are not completely cut and dry. My agency was waiting for clarification to learn if the new rules only applied to women wanting healthy infants or across the board. So that may be a consideration as well. Good luck. Ethiopia is a wonderful place and I hope that you are able to navigate the adoption process there.

Katie

[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by ocracoke

Ethiopia appears to be setting out some serious restrictions on singles adopting. Ethiopia is still accepting single applicants. Some agencies have been given number restrictions for a Calendar year (August to August). Most are being told no more then 3-10 single applicants a year. Some agencies are opting not to work with singles as a result. Some are way passed their limit of waiting singles so are no longer taking single applicants. Some have not received their restrictions yet but expect to get them soon from MOWA. It is possible that Ethiopia will close entirely to singles at some point but it has not yet happened.

Ethiopia has no rule about out of birth order adoptions. However, most agencies working in Ethiopia do not allow this. Some just discourage it while others say no way no how. That being said, it is possible that Ethiopia has told a particular agency (and contracted with them) not to allow out of birth order adoptions.

I don't believe that 45 is a hard and fast rule. I have heard of some older folks getting infants. Again this is going to be an agency specific thing.

If you want to tell me the agency you are considering (in PM) then I could tell you the reputation they have in Ethiopia -- if I know. And I might be able to suggest a few other options if you are interested.

Samantha

I have a question Samantha. If a single parent wanted to adopt from Ethiopia now would you advise it or should she look at a different country? So many are closing to singles and only Russia has a open door policy about single moms adopting.

[ocracoke]

That is a loaded question.

Okay so here are my thoughts. If you use an agency and they can say that you are one of their 10 singles for this calendar year then it may be safe. I say "may" for a couple of reasons. One is that it appears as if MOWA has not passed along all the information to all the agencies yet. Some agencies may not have been offered the 10 singles limit yet . However, what if the agency you sign with is only allowed 3 singles per year? The second concern I would have would be timing. Let's say you use X agency and you are one of 10 singles for this calendar year. But it takes 9 months to get a referral. I think it would be wise to anticipate another round of changes in rules next fall when the courts re-open again. What if Ethiopia closes to singles during court closures? This would leave you on the verge of a referral and not being able to adopt because of the referral wait period.

So I haven't really answered your question I guess. I think I would be looking at an ethical agency with a short referral wait time for the age group you are looking for so there is a possibility of making it through court prior to court closure. This likely means a smaller or newer agency. Or I would be looking at an agency with an alternate country that I could switch to easily if Ethiopia would close to singles. Of course that is never a gaurantee either but it is a bit of a safety net. If I get to adopt again I would prefer returning to Africa -- preferrably Ethiopia. And I also think your chances of a speedy adoption improve if you are willing to go for a waiting child (of course this is easy for me to say since I would want an older child for my next adoption).

I guess it is hard for me to recommend either way. I would return to Ethiopia for adoption in a heart beat if my timing works out. But I think it is important for any single going into an adoption with Ethiopia right now to have their eyes open and be willing to face the disappointment of it closing to singles in mid process.

Bet that doesn't help much.
Samantha

[Quesita]

Thank you to the folks who responded, and to those who pm’d me! These forums are always such a great source of information.

Let me tell you what I learned during my phone adventures today.

One agency says they are closed to singles already. But I assume that means that the agency has met its quota.

Another agency, with a very informed staff member who I liked a great deal, said that my age was not an issue. The agency, however, does not allow out of birth order adoptions. They have a waiting list for singles, and she put me on the waiting list, and promised to get back to me in about a month with more information. If I went with that agency, I would have to adopt a child one year younger than my daughter.

Another agency, which says that they do Ethiopian adoptions on their website, told me that they don’t do Ethiopia for anyone anymore because the wait is too long. The perky person on the other end of the phone assured me that I could complete an adoption from Uganda in 12-15 months. She was very light on specifics, and that made me very uneasy. They are sending me a packet. I looked up Uganda, which seems to have a 3 year residency requirement.

The agency I worked with initially sent me in the direction of their new Mexico program. Mexico makes sense on so many levels. I’ve lived there. I speak the language. I have family living there now. But I would need an agency waiver for out of birth order. And I asked about the circumstances of the kids in the orphanages. Most of them seemed to have been removed from their families due to violence, and some due to neglect. I don’t know if this makes sense, but as a single, older woman, I don’t know how equipped I am to deal with severe RAD or other serious behavioral issues that are more likely to result from those kinds of circumstances. I know that you never know what issues you will face with an adopted child, and that older children will always bring a history and a complex set of issues. But somehow I feel like I’m better equipped to deal with a child who has known love, lost a family, and is ready to start again. (I am not trying to be controversial here. I am speaking from my heart. If anyone feels the urge to point out all of the flaws in my perception, please be kind.)

Another country I have thought a lot about is Haiti. On many levels, Haiti makes so much more sense than Ethiopia. There is a Afro-Caribbean community in my neighborhood, and I have several close friends who are Afro-Caribbean and some acquaintances who are Haitian. I know no one from Ethiopia, and very very few people from sub-Sahara Africa. But Haiti seems really hard, especially if you are not Christian.

But I keep feeling drawn to Ethiopia. I don’t even know why.

Thank you again for your support and info. And for putting up with my really long posts.