[momtutu]

RainbowKids.com just sent me their latest newsletter. In it was an article on Cultural Sensitivity in Ethopia. The government is receiving complaints from its citizen's and the program may be in danger if we are not careful. I did not know how to link the article so I copy pasted it here. It is long. I am sorry.
Lisa


117 South Saint Asaph Street, Virginia 22314 USA +1 703-535-8035 info@jcics.org JCICS2
October 22, 2008

Joint Council Policy Recommendation

Cultural Sensitivity Regarding Adoptions in Ethiopia

Every adoption is like a rollercoaster for the adoptive parents. There are always obstacles to overcome and hoops to jump through. But in every adoption there are also many highs. For most adoptive parents the biggest high is finally being able to travel, meet the child whose photo you fell in love with long ago, and holding them in your arms. It is the moment that every adoptive parent longs for and dreams of. Adoptive parents want to spend every moment with their new child, learning every little piece of their personality and spirit. Adoptive parents want to show their new child(ren) everything that the world has to offer them. This being said sometimes it is necessary for an adoptive family to be respectful of a country’s local culture and hold off these magical moments for a few days. Joint Council feels that this is the case in Ethiopia.
Very often adoptive families stay at an international, national or local hotel in Addis Ababa. And fulfilling their long held desires, families often bring their newly adopted child to the hotel during their stay in Ethiopia. Many times the adoptive family also goes shopping or sightseeing in Addis Ababa or another local city or village.
This overriding desire, which is very normal and certainly understandable, often results in unintended cultural insensitivity to the Ethiopian government and citizens. With over 3,000 adoptions expected in Ethiopia this year, hotels and other common gathering places such as shopping areas often see relatively large numbers of families with their newly adopted Ethiopian child.
Given that the vast majority of American and European families adopting from Ethiopia are Caucasian or other non-black, the adoptive families and their Ethiopian child are easily distinguished and are often a point of curiosity among Ethiopian citizens. Understandably, due to misconceptions about adoption some Ethiopian citizens even look upon American and European adoptive families with suspicion. Cultural differences in parenting and child behavior are contributing to this suspicion.
The large number of adoptive families combined with the curiosity and suspicions of Ethiopian citizens and with cultural differences in parenting and child behavior, is unfortunately causing unintended yet very significant concerns among some Ethiopian citizens and the government. Subsequently these unintended consequences are weakening the work and services being provided in order to ensure permanent families
for the children of Ethiopia. Without exaggeration, this may lead to the elimination of intercountry adoption as an option for ensuring that every Ethiopian child has a safe, permanent and loving family.
During Joint Council’s trips to Ethiopia in June and July, concerns regarding the large numbers of adoptive families, including the Ethiopian child, staying at hotels and traveling throughout the city were expressed repeatedly by the Ethiopian government. Significant numbers of Ethiopian citizens have contacted the government with questions and more significantly with complaints.
During a Joint Council presentation to adoption service providers from the United States, Italy and France, Joint Council addressed the very important issue of cultural sensitivities. All adoption service providers were strongly urged to refrain from utilizing hotels and restricting in-city travel for adoptive families. Supporting Joint Council’s recommendation was the Network (a large association of adoption service providers in Ethiopia).
Most adoption service providers that recognized the issue of cultural sensitivity are following the recommendation. In fact some have instituted cultural sensitivity policies regarding lodging and in-city travel prior to the Joint Council recommendation. For example, increasing numbers of adoption service providers have established private guesthouses for adoptive families. Unfortunately not all adoption service providers have chosen to be proactive and implement cultural sensitivity policies. Just as unfortunately, many adoptive parents are insisting on staying at hotels and going shopping in Addis Ababa despite repeated requests from their adoption service provider, reputable advocates such as the Network and the Ethiopian government.
It is essential that adoptive parents and adoption service providers demonstrate respect for the country in which they are respectively adopting and working. Without demonstrating respect for the country and its people, the adoptive family is in turn disregarding the culture of their child(ren). Similarly the adoption service provider is disrespecting the children they seek to serve.
It is for these reasons and more that we urge adoption service providers to encourage adoptive parent to please refrain from staying in hotels and venturing out in public with their newly adoptive children. With respectful deference to cultural sensitivities in Ethiopia, to the Government of Ethiopia, and to the people of Ethiopia, Joint Council strongly urges all adoption service providers to immediately implement policies which incorporate the following principles. Adoptive parents are similarly requested to respect their child(ren), their birth country and culture and abide by the following principles and the policies of their adoption service provider.

Cultural Sensitivity Principles and Guidelines
Principles

1. All due care must be given to demonstrate cultural sensitivities towards the country, people and government of Ethiopia

2. Full recognition of the questions, concerns, curiosities and suspicions must be given to the Government of Ethiopia and its citizens

3. It is recognized that adopting an Ethiopian child is a ‘privilege of giving’ bestowed by the citizens and government of Ethiopia

4. It is recognized that every Ethiopian child has a right to a family - every family does not have an inherent right to an Ethiopian child

5. Actions and behaviors which may not appear to be offensive to U.S. adoptive parents, may in fact be extremely offensive to Ethiopian society

6. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive damage the institution of intercountry adoption and thereby limit opportunities for children in need to find a family

7. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive significantly contribute to the possible elimination of intercountry adoption in Ethiopia and thereby eliminate the right of every Ethiopian child to a safe, permanent and loving family

Guidelines

1. Adoption service providers will incorporate these principles and guidelines into their contractual or policy relationships with potential adoptive families

2. Adoption service providers will disclose the contractual or policy limitations related to cultural sensitivities to all prospective adoptive parents prior to approving an application from the prospective adoptive parents

3. Prior to taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive families may reside in a hotel during their stay

a. It is recommended that adoptive families utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses or a lodging facility operated by an adoption service provider during their entire stay in Ethiopia

b. Adoptive families who have not taken full custody of their adopted Ethiopian child may choose to utilize a hotel
i. In such cases the adoptive parents may visit their adopted Ethiopian child daily at the child care center

4. Upon taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive families will utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses or a lodging facility operated by an adoption service provider
5. Adoptive families will refrain from in-country travel with their adopted Ethiopian child

a. Exceptions to this guideline (#5) are limited to
i. The visa appointment at the U.S. Embassy
ii. Other adoption related events
iii. An emergency situation

6. Adoptive families will refrain from pressuring their adoption service provider or in-country staff to violate these principles, guidelines and/or agency polices representing these principles and guidelines

[Sohmakun]

Wait, so you can't go outside with your children? Are you supposed to stay coped up in the hotel all day or pick up your children from the orphanage on your last day of travel?

[ocracoke]

Essentiallywhat it says is that you can not go out with your child. You will be able to visit with your child at the orphanage or the agency guethouse. You will be able to go out and about to see the sights and go shopping -- without your child. And you they get your child permanently once you are heading to the airport. I know that personally this would not have worked for me very well because my daughter needed every moment of bonding time. But in orer to preserve the ability to adopt from Ethiopia we must follow the rules.

Samantha

[renee-albright]

Families adopting thru the agency we are using still get their child the day after they arrive..they stay at the Union hotel ( I belive its a smaller less public hotel). The children are with them for an embassy appointment and for a cultural dinner the rest of the time they are to spend at the hotel or the baby home with the child. There is a shopping day but the children stay at the childrens home while the parents go shopping.

[Quesita]

Wow.

I find this article very confusing. I kept reading to find out what offensive/culturally insensitive things the parents are doing, and other than "being in public," I found no information.

Travel is very important to me, and the gift of travel is something that I know I will offer my beautiful daughter, and in the event that I adopt a second child, I will offer her that gift as well. I've lived and worked in Latin America, and I'd spent a lot of time in Guatemala in the two decades before I adopted my first daughter from there. I know we will return to Guatemala every few years. We will also frequently visit other parts of Latin America.

When I think about the possibility of adopting a child from Ethiopia, one of my biggest concerns is that I know much less about the culture of the region than I do about the culture of Guatemala and other parts of Latin America. And as I think of bringing a child from sub-Sahara Africa into my home and my life, I imagine myself learning more about the region, and incorporating travel to the region into my family's life. I imagine future trips with both of my children, trips which include hotels and museums and restaurants and visits to rural ares and safaris. Perhaps, as the children grow older, I imagine volunteer work at schools or hospitals or orphanages as part of our "vacation."

Now, if I am told that some people in a region might be offended if I dress my child a certain way... or even if I dress myself a certain way, then I will not dress that way. I've traveled in many regions in which I wear long skirts rather than pants or shorts, out of respect for local customs. That is fine. If it is considered rude to walk down the street eating, in an area where many people don't have food, then I will be careful not to allow my children to eat in public unless I am prepared to share that food with everyone in sight. If I am told that it is rude to start a conversation with someone unless I have given a specific greeting or blessing, then I will learn that greeting or blessing.

Am I to understand that if I adopt a child from Ethiopia, I am forever banned from returning and sharing the sights and sounds and nuances of my child's birthplace with her and her sister? How would I explain that one child's country of origin is a place that we love and honor and respect and visit, while the other child's country of origin is a place we avoid?

If I am told that it is offensive for my family to exist, it is I who will take offense.

[ocracoke]

KC,

I think I read a lot into the original post because I have been involved with many discussions on other boards about this issue for months. Some of the issues that have been raised include cultural insensitivity such as not proper dress -- nobody wears shorts and women don't wear short dresses -- and eating with their left hand -- since food is traditionally eaten with hands on not utensils the right hand is for food and the left hand is for other hygiene things. Ethiopians as a whole are also a very polite people. This means that while they may be disapproving of your behavior, you may never be aware of it since they would never confront or correct you directly. I also think that Ethiopia is painfully aware that one of their largest "exports" right now is their children. Many adoptive parents have been staying in the Hilton or the Sheraton in Addis Ababa. Ethiopians see white people check in to these hotels and then check out with a healthy infants. So many people want infants when they adopt. Some people also have talked about stewardesses commenting about all the adoptive parents leaving the country with healthy infants. I was the only adoptive parent on my flight out of Ethiopia but many people say that there were other adoptive families on their flights. I know that while I was in Ethiopia many people thanked me for giving one of their children a home. And it really appears to me that Ethiopians see all the Ethiopian children as theirs -- whether they are related to them or not. I did have one gentleman see me walking with my daughter in Addis Ababa who was obviously displeased about me having my daughter and shook his head at me and "tsk"ed. I think it hurts their pride that they are so unable to care for the country's children that they must send them away. Just my guess.

I do know of several people who have returned to Ethiopia with their children adopted from there without issue. I fully intend to return with my daughter some day. I don't think this letter is suggesting that adoptive families be prohibited from returning to Ethiopia with their children at a later date. I think this is referring to just the adoption trip.

All that being said, my daughter really needed every possible moment for bonding when I first arrived. If I had only been able to spend a few hours a day with her it would have changed the bonding process. In addition, once she decided I was mom it was heart wrenching (on her )for her to return to the orphanage at night. So much so that I checked her out of the orphanage a few days before travel to stay with me permanently. She was clear with me (even at 21 months) that if I expected her to trust me that I needed to be with her full time. And I also had a terrible terrible terrible flight home and if she had not been thoroughly bonded to me by the flight home I can only imagine how much worse it could have been.

Some agencies offer guests houses on the orphanage grounds. This allows for you to have the child with you all the time. They also provide a nanny to care for your child if you wanted to go out shopping or whatever.

Samantha

[Sohmakun]

I can see why their "ashamed" about international adoption though. Ethiopia was never really a country most people (including me) have heard of until adoptions starting taking off from their. I don't think they want to be labeled as a "baby exporter" like Korea was in the 80's

[Ladyofmoonlight]

See here I thought all that stuff was kinda normal. When we picked up Paxton a year ago we could not take him out of the orphanage or guest house. We took custody after the family visit and aside from walking the half block from the big kid part of the orphanage down to the guest house, he didn't go outside our agency's walls except for the visa appointment and going to the airport. We were told before we left that this was going to become standard and that families not staying at the guesthouse could not take custody until the day they were leaving Ethiopia, and we were not to go anywhere with the children.

I find it a bit odd that this is only being brought to other agencies now. My agency can't be the only one that established this as a rule within the last year of knowing it was an issue.

[AutumnMom]

I mean no disrespect at all to Ethiopia and its wonderful people but if international adoption were to halt entirely in Ethiopia so many children would be without homes or could even face an untimely death. To me it is inconsequential whether the adoptive parents skin color is blue with pink polka dots. Adoptive parents go through an extensive (and I know I don't need to tell all of you) amount of paper work, classes, back ground checks, and a slew of other paper work to adopt a child from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government is not just handing out babies to anyone who wants them. It makes me very sad to think that some people in Ethiopia are not pleased with "whites" adopting "their" children. I think it is pathetic that new parents have to "hide" in hotels with their children so as not to upset the locals. It is a very sad sad thing to witness discrimmination like this........

[KarynB]

Originally Posted by AutumnMom

I mean no disrespect at all to Ethiopia and its wonderful people but if international adoption were to halt entirely in Ethiopia so many children would be without homes or could even face an untimely death. To me it is inconsequential whether the adoptive parents skin color is blue with pink polka dots. Adoptive parents go through an extensive (and I know I don't need to tell all of you) amount of paper work, classes, back ground checks, and a slew of other paper work to adopt a child from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government is not just handing out babies to anyone who wants them. It makes me very sad to think that some people in Ethiopia are not pleased with "whites" adopting "their" children. I think it is pathetic that new parents have to "hide" in hotels with their children so as not to upset the locals. It is a very sad sad thing to witness discrimmination like this........

It look like you need to do a bit more reading on African history. Africa has been raped at the hands of whites for centuries - slavery, colonialism - and now we continue get richer while they get poorer due to unfair trade laws, patents that allow our drug companies to get rich while they die, and I could go on here for about ten pages. Of course they are sensitive to the fact that Westerners have enough money to come in and adopt their children while they live on less than a $1 a day and often have to make the gut wrenching decision to relinquish their kids. Read "There is no You Without Me". Ethiopia has a proud history and was the birthplace of culture and civilization, it must be brutal and beyond heartbreaking for them to see their greatest resource, their future generation, shipped out of the country.

To you it is inconsequential if the parents are any colour - to them it isn't. To your kid it won't be either.

I've posted on here about how the US has historically been the ONLY country to "import" and "export" children - as in you as US citizens are allowed to adopt from overseas, but you also (Until the Hague, although it is starting again) allow Canadians, etc to adopt your babies. I can tell you, people were VERY sensitive to that. And in my opinion, rightly so.

And you know what? Not every adoptive parent goes into a country with sensitivity on their minds like most of the people here are talking about. People are rude to locals, and sometimes treat them terribly. They act like they have a "right" to these kids. So you know what? If there is some backlash by Ethiopians - maybe it will force people to be more respectful and realize the shame and tragedy it is that these children are available for adoption in the first place. And maybe do more for Africa as a whole then just remove kids from their birth country/families...

80% of the Ethiopian adoption here are voluntary relinquishment - so they are NOT orphans, just the families are too poor or too sick to raise them. Sick from diseases that we here, in our cozy homes, rarely if ever die from. THAT is what is heartbreaking to me, not the "discrimination" you feel is happening to whites.

[JenC]

Thank you, Karyn. Well said.

[ocracoke]

I have to agree with Karyn too. It is not about discrimination at all. It is about pride. Ethiopians do not want to be seen as having to get rid of their children due to poverty and disease. They understand that by getting rid of their children they are getting rid of their future leaders. And I think there are many countries that do not allow you to take custody of your children until you are ready to leave the country. The other thing to keep in mind is that we do not have a "right" to adopt children from a different country. It is a privilege. It is a privilege that we get approved for by going through the home study process. And ultimately, it is the decision of the sending country who gets to adopt their children -- even if we have been approved by our country. We can be denied for any reason - whether we think it is valid or not. For instance, Korea won't adopt to people with a BMI over a certain amount. Me being fat does not affect my ability to parent but it is a rule Korea has and I have no say if it is fair or not. Ethiopia and every other country has the right (and some might say the duty) to set their adoption rules to reflect their values and we either abide by them or don't gain the privilege to adopt from there.

JMO,
Samantha

[BethanyB]

Very well said, KarynB

[Petsitter]

Very well said Karyn and Samantha. Let us also not forget how it looks to the people on the outside looking in. If you are adopting an older child (older than an infant) many times these children are distraught, confused and fearful. Many times they are crying or worse. How does that look to a local? Like the children do not want to come to us? And have you ever heard the term "ugly american"? We tend to go to other countries with the "higher than thou" attitude. No really so good for making a good impression...

[AutumnMom]

Quote: "To you it is inconsequential if the parents are any colour - to them it isn't. To your kid it won't be either."

Excuse me Karyn but I didn't know you were a fortune teller. How do YOU know what MY child will feel like and what will matter to her 5 or 10 years from now? If you think that ALL adopted children or ALL adopted Ethiopian children have the SAME issues then you need to redo your home study classes or go read up on the Internet about adopted children. All children are different period end of story. Some may have the same issues others may not. To give a blanket statement like that about MY child shows how out of touch you truly are.
In my extended family there are a plethora of children that are adopted and of different ethnicity's not one of these children have issues about their race. (FYI the ages range from adults to 2). Yes some children will have issues with their identity and the different ethnicity's of their parents ~ some will not. It depends on a myriad of components: where the child was raised, the parents attitude, extended family, and the child itself, etc. etc.

You make it sound as if we are pillaging Ethiopia of their children and if you do feel that way then why did you adopt from this country if you are doing these people such a disservice? I don't understand ~ on one hand you want to adopt there but yet with the other fist you are waving that it is OH SO wrong to do so.
If the Ethiopian government feels that it is that wrong to allow their children to be adopted to people outside of the country then by all means they should close its adoptions to people outside of the country. But you or I are not going to make that decision ~ that is up to Ethiopia.
As my original post stated I meant no disrespect to Ethiopia and still do not. They are a people that have endured and deserve the worlds utmost respect. All I was saying I think that it is a shame that some people in Ethiopia view adoption outside of the country as a NEGATIVE thing and all do to skin color.