[shannoncl]

I have heard from adoptive parents that the homestudy process was gut wrenching. Feeling like they are under the microscope etc.

What should I REALLY be concerned with? I have an older 2br. home and am hoping to adopt a young sibling group from Ethiopia.

Also, I will likely be getting a new house in April of next year. Will this effect the placement of the children? I know this is really a social worker question, but am wondering from those of you that have gone through this process if it is something I should worry about.

Any guidance and help you can offer is most appreciated. Thank you all!

[ocracoke]

Here is an email I sent to a friend this weekend about her freaking out over the homestudy.

This is a good thing. Really! And don't be nervous. I will just tell you some of the things about my homestudy. I was panicking over my homestudy. I so badly wanted to adopt and I was so afraid I would not be approved and I freaked out on my mom. And she just said to me ... Samantha, I was a 25 year old almost married woman who was basically clueless when I went through my homestudy and they gave me TWO children. Always remember that the social worker is looking for reasons to approve you. They are not looking for ways to deny you (unless you get a really cranky one). If there is a blatant problem they will usually work with you to fix it and come up with a solution. Before my first visit I cleaned the entire house. I mean I folded all my clothes that were in drawers, I cleaned out closets, I steamed cleaned carpets, I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, I cleaned dirt out of crevices I didn't even know existed, I mowed the lawn, I planted flowers (and I can kill just about any plant), etc. And she looked at none of it!! She came in the front door, sat on the couch, talked for about an hour, and left. And she was very nice. I decided that I would bake cookies to impress her (I make world famous chocolate chip cookies) and I burned them. So the house (my house is 700 square feet) smelled like burned cookies and I had no good ones to offer her. My cats decided that while she was there was the best time to have a series of races through the house. At one point one of the cats came running into the living room and attempted to jump over the table that my glass of coke was sitting on. Needless to say he misjudged the height and coke went flying every where. I think the fact that I didn't freak out actually helped her opinion of me. We reviewed my application, reviewed the process, she gave me information about the online class she was requiring that I take, she explained the autobiography I needed to write, and she gave me contact information so that when I was done with my autobiography I could make appointment number 2 with her. It was so not traumatic. It was actually so not stressful that I didn't even bother to clean for visit # 2 or visit # 3. You will want to know what your state requires. Mine was really lax. Do you need a fire inspection? Do you need fire extinguishers? Do you need a home inspection?

Hope that helps some,
Samantha

[kerriv]

I was also nervous about the home study process. It turned out to be quite enjoyable. My home study worker sounds much like Samantha's. She was very friendly and easy to talk to. We talked about my life, how I was raised, how I plan to raise my children, what support systems I had in place, etc. She glanced around my house too. That was pretty much it. It's much easier than it sounds. Try not to worry too much.

[sak9645]

Remember that most agencies weed out people who clearly don't qualify BEFORE the homestudy begins. They don't want to waste their time and your money, if you are not going to be approvable. Once you are accepted for a homestudy, you will generally be approved unless something comes out that was not discussed ahead of time -- for example, a serious criminal issue, one spouse in a married couple not really wanting the adoption, a serious medical or psychiatric issue, etc.

The homestudy, itself, is less about approving you than it is about PREPARING you for the challenges of adoptive parenting. It is a great time to raise various questions you may have -- for example, about how to celebrate your child's cultural heritage, how to deal with nosy questions from strangers, how to find therapists familiar with adoption issues in case you encounter any, how to explain adoption to your child, how to choose a placement agency if you haven't picked one yet, how the citizenship process works, etc.

I think that most people don't find the homestudy "hard", except in terms of gathering all the necessary documents, setting appointments, and writing the autobiography that many agencies require. What some very private people hate is that there are questions about matters that they consider personal, such as finances, the way their parents raised them, the strength of their marriage if they are married. their sexual orientation/dating habits if they are unmarried, any visits to a mental health therapist, etc.

What's significant is that most people obsess a lot over the home visit, which is just one small part of the homestudy, and usually quite painless. It's hard for folks to remember that the social worker does not care if the furniture is a bit worn, if there are dust bunnies under the bed, or if the room that will be the baby's is currently home to the ironing board, the computer, and six boxes of old clothes awaiting a trip to the consignment shop.

The home viist is designed to determine whether a home is safe and welcoming. If there are relatively minor safety issues, such no handrail on the basement stairs, you won't "fail" the homestudy; you will simply be asked to correct them before final approval. As long as the social worker does not see evidence of a dangerous lifestyle, like tanks of venomous snakes, loaded guns, drug paraphernalia, alcohol consumption that starts in the morning, etc., you usually won't have a problem.

Basically, if you would feel comfortable inviting your in-laws or your boss for dinner, and if your home meets all local codes regarding occupancy, fire safety, zoning, and so on, you are probably fine with the home visit.

Sharon