[ocracoke]

As I consider the option of adopting again .... some days I feel completely insane when I say that.

After a lot of thought and consideration to my life and most especially to the behaviors, needs, and personality of my daughter I have made the decision that if I am going to adopt again it will be best if I adopt out of birth order. My current daughter would do best to remain the youngest and I would like to add a daughter that is just about 1-2 years older then her. I try to stay up on agency information so I know a lot of the agencies that work in Ethiopia. What I am having a hard time with finding out is which agencies will allow out of birth order adoptions. Some that I have talked to are completely dead set against it, others really discourage it but have not said it is a deal breaker. My question is -- does anybody know of an angency out there that currently allows out of birth order adoptions? If so could you please PM me. I never would have thought it would be such a big issue but it really seems to be.

Thanks,
Samantha

[Quesita]

Wow. I am just playing with the idea of a second adoption... and I am considering an older child.

I've given a lot of thought to the idea of an "out of birth order" adoption. My beautiful daughter was the youngest of many in foster care in Guatemala. And now she is the baby at daycare. And the youngest of the cousins. She LOVES older kids, and I think that she is very comfortable in her role as the littlest one.

It had not occured to me that agency policies might be an obstacle.

[LissAnne]

We are adopting 2 boys...the older one is 4, and the younger is 1.5. Right now we have 2 bio boys, ages 2 and 8 mo, so we're adopting completely out of birth order. I'll PM you...
Melissa

[kerriv]

I'm adopting out of birth order as well. I have 20 month old from Guatemala. She was the younger sibling in her foster family and is the baby at day care as well. She does much better with older kids than with younger ones. We are currently waiting on a court date to bring a 5 year old home from Ethiopia. I don't have any info on how she fits into birth order there (something I think we often overlook when thinking about birth order.) I just believe this is a much better fit for us.

[ocracoke]

Kerri,

I totally agree with you. We so often only look at the child that is in the family already when looking at birth order and not the child coming into the family. I do believe that it would be in the best interest of my current daughter to remain the youngest in my family and that she would adjust much better to having an older child come into my family. On the same token I would hope (if I actually get the chance) that the child coming into my family would do best as the oldest child in the family since that will be her position. There has to be a child that matches that description, I would think.

Samantha

[kerriv]

Samantha -
That has definitely been one of my pet peeves when looking at agencies - that they refuse to do out of birth order adoptions across the board. As with all things in life, it's so important to look at individual situations.